That is a rare trait, thank you.


LW2

Keep in touch with her, and help her cope with a very emotional and serious decision she has made to break your heart. You can't really undo it, but do you try to keep things friendly so her phsycotic or deviant behavior only paralizes her, and you take the high road and be a perfect gentleman? It's a hard task, but so much easier than being mean and emotionally vacant, or distraught.

She ripped your heart out. Did you deserve it? Either way, you have promised her until death do you part to keep supporting her in good times and bad, in sickness and in health. Are you a promise keeper? Try to be, at least until the Divorce and then still try afterward. Show her kindness and friendship...the kind she will be sorry she missed out on, but you'll always be happy you gave.

Yes, I've had my heart ripped out and my lungs slashed twice, once after 28 years. It's not any easier with less time pm the second marriage, 2.8 years. It hurts the same, but the hurt can only go away when you realease it's hold on you, and you be determined that love can't be this bad. Not always and not forever. Make up your mind what you can change about yourself, and move forward. I still keep in touch every day and try to lift her spirit...at least for now.

Be happy and be blessed.


LW2



LW2

Goto the network online episodes, they can be seen with a week of airtime and remain online for months. Enjoy, just Google it.


Kevin Costner, crossed with Tim Allen type...


LW2

You really should start with something less provacative and degrading. Not looking at health, attractiveness, kindness, education, communication, skills in and out of the kitchen, artistic, musical, faith, depth of character, loves to hike or whatever. You are looking for something in advance that is sensitive in any setting. Something that really matters very litte in the grand scheme of a lifetime of happiness, love and adventures. Try getting them to talk first, and relate. Maybe even trust you before going there... Just my Humble Opinion.


LW2

I'm finding myself a little intimidated with highly successful women due to what it has brought them. Total independance from men, Travel to exotic destinations, scuba, to skydiving, to living out their fantasies with, or without, a man. So what's next? What are women doing to remedy this, or are we just out on our keesters, and you only date rich men?

As the saying goes, "I've been rich and I've been poor, and rich is better"... What do you think it has to do with attraction? Security, opportunity...room for Courgars???

For men trying to date women who are a step above them financially it is a huge stumbling block, unless the woman can see what's happening and pick up the slack. We may not be able to treat them to the finer things that they think are commonplace...jewelry, fine dining, theater, travel, and a host of other things they live for.

Occaisionally it works the other way, but with older thinking and men being the hunter gatherer, it doesn't bother to many women to "move up" and assume the roll of recipient of great love and trinkets, so to speak.

How do you feel?


LW2

Hard to tell you are a man with a lovely flyin' piggy, ha, ha....but you are spot on. A teller of truth.

LW2

I agree, except for the first line. Gals fall in lust just fine. Of course, some men are irresistable, hey, hey. But it's up to each of us to put on the brakes, enjoy the magic moment, but not spoil it too soon. Good points. Thanks.

ARE YOU LUMPIN?

It's so easy to put all men, or all women in the same box...and it does depend on your expereiences.

I find the people I do meet in person find I'm acutally REAL, just like my profile...and that may be rare.

If you want to find someone you'd really like, don't try to be someone you're not.

We do have to remain OPTOMISTIC... Definitely. My point was not to discourage any of you, and I think most got it... The actual physical meeting of someone is our goal, and an online presence is really hard when trying to decide to meet or not. Emailing is one type of presence, phone calls are another, and meeting personally or in a group is the start of the real relationship. Most everyone one I've met in the past (3 years ago), were really not at all the same in person, and you have another decision to make. Were you intentionally deceived, or is it just an accidental thing? Were you pleasantly surprised, or a little bit duped?...and can you live with that, because MEN are all the same, or WOMEN are all the same.

Please don't catagorize us. The "good ones" feel a bit insulted, the bad ones don't really care, and the ugly, well, they need love too. I was on a different Mingle for 3 years and found it a bit disconcerting to meet women who have made some horrendous mistakes (men too, but I only dated women, ha). I dated a woman who met Ted Bundy (the serial killer),nearly became a victim, and witnessed an abduction, another who got married to a man, only to find he had been in prison for murder (she thought he was in the Military), another that while visiting, saw the persons computer, and he was a serial liar, telling everyone he was madly in love and wanted to marry them, while being engaged to her. He assaulted a few and was under indictment when he committed suicide this year. I heard story after story of men taking advantage (in a really bad way), so I guess I understand people wanting to put all men in that BOX, but, I've met many good, stable men, that could not get the trust of women. And many men have been "taken" financially by women, trust me on this one. Trick me once, shame on you...Trick me twice, shame on me.

It's not a rosey world of "nicey nice", all good. But, definitely be happy in who you are, where you are headed. Smile, and know that good things come slowly, softly, and certainly. Hold your heads high and be wise dating. My best to all of you. I see good in both men and women on here and that's encouraging.

God Bless

LW2

...on the Internet. It's rare to even get to know someone at all. Those brave souls who actually date, may eventually find love. This medium is tricky, made worse by all the saps that prey on you, or me. Nobody wants that. I can write to 10 or 12 people and not hear back from anyone, or maybe 1 or 2. That's a lot of hesitation. That's a lot of pre-judgement. You don't have to date a person, just because you respond in an email...and dating doesn't secure your man or your woman for marriage or wild magical love. It does take some reaching out, some effort, and some dissappointment. It does take courage and letting go of your fears.

You don't have to compromise on safety and be a victim, but you do have to take some baby steps forward. Seems there are those that dive in, and others that can't put a toe in the water. I think a lot of us would just like something more in-between, something that will lead to friendship, or even last, or could last, if we work on it.

What say ye "wordsmiths" and "hopeless romantics"????

(ME) What do you want me to do differently, honey?

(EX) You'd have to change everything about your personallity before I'd even consider staying married.

(ME) Seriouly, everything?...And you're OK? You wouldn't change a thing, give and take a little? (Laughing on the inside)




LW2

Why that's as easy as pooring water out of a boot...

The directions are on the bottom.

A college teacher,


LW2

ViaMusica, if you were't so far away I'd give you a hug. ((((V)))

I can really appreciate this struggle to find someone like you've described. My wife I separated from has a similar personality, but when it came to raising her son, she did not want to hear anything from me at all. It's what cost our marriage for the most part. She's brilliant, but couldn't take anyone else who disagreed or just had a differing opinion. This is an area people really need to focus on, because we had great chemistry, she just didn't have any patience after her son verbally abused her and walked all over her. Her poor son is going to be nearly worthless, unless he can turn around, but it takes two people saying more or less the same thing, showing more or less, the same example, and leading, guiding, nurturing, admonishing and loving the kids in a similar manner...let alone each other. I have to laugh, because after a few dates, she told me she had a really high IQ, then to this day, won't say what it is. I could keep up, believe me. She wouldn't take on most subjects because I had plenty of life experiences to counter what she thought. It's too bad, but she would not ever get on the same page. She needed all the praise, honor and glory, and never knew I could use some too. I regret not seeing this as a real character flaw that would bite me in two years and get me on the search for a new love again, with the divorce in the works. She just gave up. After being teacher of the year, I expected maybe above average mother of the year.... Ooops. You have to save some energy for your family and especially your spouse or it just won't work in the end.




LoneWolfToo

But what if you're talking to someone here on the forums, just playing games friendly-like (not looking to date them) and you click their profile to see what they're like as a person, or because they made a request in "rate my profile"? And then you can't actually see it because you aren't in the age range they're looking to date?

I think that would be WAY too restrictive. I don't want to date anyone younger than 40, but that doesn't mean I have a problem with people under 40 being able to read my profile.


I clearly see your point ViaMusica. Let us hope through the magic of Software, Mingle2 can find a way to make everyone happy. Choices, we just want more choices.

LW2

Reposted from the Commmunity Board, don't know where exactly...



One thing I might add. I gained a friend. Someone lovely, who is already in a relationship, whom I did not email because of distance, had the good sense to be nice to a newcomer, bless her heart. To the rest of you. It takes two to tango, I hope you find your partner.



LoneWolfToo

Very nice discourse. I love your faith in prayer. Elijah was not a man as we are. He must have been really special to call down that much power as a prophet. Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father in Heaven is perfect. That's how things get done. Purity of heart, mind, and soul...doing the will of the Father. We can't possibly always get what we pray for. We ask amiss at times. Hang in there my Brother. You have a good heart and soul.


LW2

ANOTHER SUGGESTION, MAYBE...

I've emailed at least 10 people now, who are in my age group and like the same things. So far, none of them has said BOO. How about a kick in the pants, when you get to 10, for cryin' out loud.

At least have the courtesy to say something, "maybe later", "not interested", "in a relationship", "not my type, sorry", something, anything... This is a ghost town, I may just move on.

Have a Box to Check [ ] I'm scared
[ ] I'm too hurt to date
[ ] My wife won't let me date
{ } It's just too early for me
[ ] I'm a bit reclusive
[ ] I don't date men
[ ] I want a clean shaven man/woman
[ ] Don't expect me to answer right away
[ ] Can I think about it?
[ ] Let me close the chapter I'm in first
[ ] Please give me some time, I will get bk2U
[ ] No thanks, I'm good
[ } I'll n'ya pas de mot en ce moment
[ ] I'm busy now but,......
[ ] Sorry, you look just like my EX... :)
[ } I got nothing
[ } I'm interested, hold that thought... :]
[ ] You lost me. You have the wierdest profile

Anyway, you get the idea. Smile and say no, but don't leave us to hang...

Said my piece, movin' on... Good Day To You, someone, anyone>>>...

One thing I might add. I gained a friend. Someone lovely, who is already in a relationship, whom I did not email because of distance, had the good sense to be nice to a newcomer, bless her heart. To the rest of you. It takes two to tango, I hope you find your partner.


LoneWolfToo

Young Guys Only...sigh


Most men really don't deserve the Title...


Welcome to Mingle2 and Best wishes in your search.

In order for there to be love at first sight, there needs to be a first meeting. I keep waiting on emali from those I've reached out to. Timid, undecided, unhealed, busy, too far... For whatever reason, if we can't make time we can't progress.

Do your best and good things will come of it. Bless you all.


LW2

If the perfect man did exist, have you been through the trials in life that would help you to recognize kindness, repentance, fortitude, and attitude of understanding, sincere gestures given in an honest way, tenderness, love and hope, a reckless disire to find true love in an imperfect world? Would accept a perfect man in to your world of regrets, poor choices, and consequences? Would he be happy with the person you are today? Then change, restructure, rebuild, empower yourself. Would this perfect man have to be perfect or just a man who could atone for his weaknesses and find grace in your acceptance? How will you recognize him if you don't respond, or reach out to simple smiles, nudges and friendly hellos? Is being a perfect man for you making a man choose your happiness over his integrity, or can you wait for the seed of friendhip, then love to grow in a a perfect relationship? Does a lack of patience make him imperfect or are you giving life a reasonable chance at connectiing to him? Will you allow that neither you or I are perfect in accepting a perfect man? Can you cook and clean and spruce yourself up once in a while to allure your perfect man? Have you the hope and belief that an honest and truthful relationship can still exist in this vast expanse of romantic deprivation? Will you get past looking at a picture to reading a profile and emailing while the perfect man is still around to hear your beckon call? Will you call out the qualities you call perfect yet allow this man to show you his inner and outer soul? What keeps you from finding this genuine and trusted soul who yearns for nothing more than everlasting love and friendhip? It begins with belief, hope, faith, doing, acting upon your instincts. Who can resist the perfect woman, unselfish and kind, a friend to all, one who helps those who cannot help themselves, one who does not prey on your carnal lusts, but holds intimacy in high regard? Are you such a woman? Are you such a man?

If he is such a man, then by all means get off your lazy couches and try to become the perfect match as well.

(not written to offend anyone, please forgive the rant)...


LW2, but not for long. I've reached out to a half dozen of you this week. I intend to hear back from my new friends. Don't be scared. Just be yourself and see who you and I become.


LW2, empowered, hopefull, a hopeless romantic, a gentleman. Dream big. Keep your eyes on the prize. Be, Become, Enjoy friendhips. Drown the enemy called despair. Give love a chance.