hey thumper, i didn't check back on the threads from a few days back. hows the ribs.

kater, mind if i ask you something

welcome to jsh jess

hey thumper, hey kater

SCHOOL ANSWERING MACHINE (This is hilarious - no wonder some people were offended!)

This is the message that the Pacific Palisades High School (California) staff voted unanimously to record on their school Telephone answering machine This is the actual answering machine message for the school.

This came about because they implemented a policy requiring students and parents to be responsible for their children's absences and missing homework. The school and teachers are being sued by parents
who want their children's failing grades changed to passing grades - even though those children were absent 15-30 times during the semester and did not complete enough schoolwork to pass their classes.

The outgoing message:

"Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school. In order to assist you in connecting to the right staff member, please listen to all the options before making a selection:

* To lie about why your child is absent - Press 1
* To make excuses for why your child did not do his work- Press 2
* To complain about what we do - Press 3
* To swear at staff members - Press 4
* To ask why you didn't get information that was already enclosed in
your newsletter and several flyers mailed to you - Press 5
* If you want us to raise your child - Press 6
* If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone -Press 7
* To request another teacher, for the third time this year -Press 8
* To complain about bus transportation - Press 9
* To complain about school lunches - Press 0
* If you realize this is the real world and your child must be accountable and responsible for his/her own behavior, class work, homework and that it's not the teachers' fault for your child's lack of effort: Hang up and have a nice day!

alive & wired. eatin to much white chocolate reese's peanut butter cups. woooooo eeeeeeee

welcome to jsh xrystina.

A sexually active woman tells her plastic surgeon that she wants her vaginal lips reduced in size because they were too loose and floppy. Out of embarrassment she insisted that the surgery be kept a secret and the surgeon agreed.
Awakening from the anesthesia after the surgery she found 3 roses carefully placed beside her on the bed.
Outraged, she immediately calls in the doctor. "I thought I asked you not to tell anyone about my operation!"
The surgeon told her he had carried out her wish for confidentiality and that the first rose was from him: "I felt sad because you went through this all by yourself."
"The second rose is from my nurse. She assisted me in the surgery and empathized because she had the same procedure done some time ago."
"And what about the third rose?" she asked.
"That's from a man upstairs in the burn unit. He wanted to thank you for his new ears."

pudgie meadows

hehehehehehehehe

hey big instructions for ya: start at point a then continue to point z.

no disrespect to you kater

have a pre happy b-day night nurjoyce. don't go out & do anything we'd do

i feel for ya whispers

way to many for me to just pick one. was lucky enough to be able to see them twice back in the days. two of the top 5 concerts i've ever been to.

kasmir does seem to be the one i have goin thro my head the majority of the time.

mornin g e.

hey hippyman glad you gave jsh a chance to be your pad. many of us have lava lamps, blacklights, beanbag furniture & all the fixings to go with them. so pull up a beanie whip out that harmonica & shoot us a tune or 2.

Football FINALLY makes sense.........

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench.

After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."

Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"

"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was:'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like...Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!!!!"

hammer = time

coke = head