lol, no I don't, but next time I have some fries I'm going to try your way. I was informed that I eat by category - at dinner, I'll eat my chicken first, then the vegetable, never do I pick around the plate. Then I noticed that's how my kids eat too, I think when they were babies i fed them one food at a time. And we don't like caseroles!

nope, no and noway!!!

oh bummer! I was hearing about all the storms on the east coast, rain in Washington, power out in Florida. Was sunny and warm in Texas, come on down for a visit!!!

lol, i'll drop the arizona!! Not moving there anyway.

see, that's what I mean....everyone stays clear of me!! I can't even join in a conversation....I can't figure out where everybody goes....

What is it about me that when I post to a topic, everyone disappears. I am the official Kiss of Death to any topic here, and it seems like it's been this way since day one. Is it something I say? In my profile? I'm a nice person, even I Harmony accepted me.....

that's it, this is the proof. I am the official jsh kiss of death for any topic!!! I GIVE UP!

Anything more than I cord, and i am lost with this computer stuff!!! I have a small virus in it....for about a year now...

My excitement tonight has been changing out my mouse to the cordless one I got for Christmas, figuring out what cord I forgot to plug back in to connect to the internet, and rearranging my printer cords. And I really really need to go downstairs and turn off the stupid tv. But i just can't seem to bring myself to do it....

I am back in Texas now, gave up on Arizona!!

i loved it when my daughter lived in Hawaii, she was 5 hours behind me and i could give her a hard time about shows we both watched. Now they have moved to North Carolina, and the tables have turned!!!

hey we are in the same time zone!! Law and Order just came on in my house too. TG the kids are grown...they can fight in their own houses now lol.

only because I am toooo lazy to go downstairs and turn it off!

I am reading everybody's profile, with American Gladiators in the background, drowning out my thoughts.

I am keeping my daughter's dog, Valentine, given to her by her hubby last valentine's day....they are in limbo, moved from Hawaii to North Carolina but stuck in Pa the last 6 months...so she shipped the dog to me. Valentine, or valley girl because is so!!...has 3 legs but can still run faster than me! But when I walk her, and if she steps on a sticker, poor thing can't limp! She simply lays down until I can get the sticker out. I don't think I'll give her back.

Men strike back!


How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.
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Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
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Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows
them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
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How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There 's a clock on the oven.
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Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to
Build up the required pressure.
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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
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What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told
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I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
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Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
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Women will never be equal to men ......until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
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In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

great uk, but....this shouldn't be in the "jokes" but in the "relationship" forum!!!
Hope you don't mind that I'm going to use it!

A young gorgeous blonde was flying on a plane that hit some turbulence. All of a sudden, the engines died. The pilot came on the intercom, apologized, and said the plane was going down, this was it! The blonde started to cry, saying that she had never done anything, never dated, never been kissed, never had sex. She cried out "I've never felt like a woman. Someone, make me feel like a woman!!" A young hunk of a guy heard her, got up from his seat and started walking down the aisle, all eyes on him. His eyes burned into her eyes, as he slowly unbuttoned his shirt. By the time he reached her, his shirt was off and his muscles rippled as he handed it to her and said
"here, iron this, then get me a beer."

How can you say immigrants don't pay taxes? Of course they do, every time they buy something. Every time they fill up their car. Get paid more than "we" do? lol, not in MY city! One issue, at least where I live, is crossing the border illegally, (running the river) working here for cash (construction or house cleaning type jobs) and then crossing back over for the night. So the money leave with them. Then, the illegal use of a US address and kids that live in Mexico cross over for the school system, we have so many overcrowded schools, and the "illegals" are a major cause. There is a road here that cannot be driven on at night - you will most certainly have your car disabled and will be robbed and assulted.

Angelina desperately wanted a new red bike for her birthday. She knew that she had not been very good, messing up in school and talking back to her mother. So she went to her mother and asked her nicely for a new red bike. Her mom said maybe she should write a letter to God asking Him, so she sat down and wrote a letter. "Dear God, I have been very good this year and would like a new red bike...." and she crumpled up the letter and threw it away. She tried again "Dear God, I am trying to be good and think I deserve a new red bike..." She knew this wasn't true, crumpled up the letter and threw that one away. Angelina went downstairs and asked her mom if she could walk over to the church. Her mom was delighted, and thought maybe now Angelina would behave better. Angelina went over to the church, grabbed the statue of the Virgin Mary, tucked it into her coat and ran home and upstairs. She wrote a letter to God...
God,
I got yo mama. Hand over the red bike or she gets it.
From: you know who