thank you

Lost

Sometimes it's just one word to start the turn of events
Something so innocent in thought it stuns
Fostering a blank look of fragments
Paralysed by the loss of speech
A backwards fall in time
Numbed to any feeling
Frozen by a word

More words try to come to offer some comfort
Running into echoes from the past
They just end up falling away
There is no hope of reaching
For something so distant
No recovery
Buried now
In the depths
So lost

No more comment
And no more words
The conversation dies

hell yeah i am
and thanks its good to be back

Falling Badly

These days always start with the fall from ones own grace
So many times the descriptions circle inward from within
Collapsing all that was once held to be so positive and alive

It comes to descend into the grey of mediocrity via slowness
Smokes and stokes itself with the embers of self-pity
Fires to fuel the rage and disillusionment of depression

Looking outward from the burn of a torn heart
Hope gains its fragile wings to escape out of sight
Lost in the clouds blurring the senses from the light
Letting in the rain to douse the flames of fatal anger
A torrent of torment to send the flood of regretful tears
To wash the everlasting soul in it�s darkest drifts

Death will come in its final hour with a murmur
A cold refrain to the last spark

Shadows

It was hard to believe that the game could have been played so well and so badly. Maybe it was the naivet� to the events of the time. Everything had changed in that continuum, become bent up, spent and formed into an unrecognizable shape.

Things were revealed.

Why the self destruction, it was hard to say. One ate as if he couldn�t just stop at one, night after night and hid it in sleep by day. The other seemed to hate to see her own reflection, the side that said she had done things wrong and stood on a righteous path. He couldn�t stop and she knew. They both wanted others to live their lives and despised people for living their dream.

The invitation appeared in a time of need and turmoil. Innocent at first, damning at last.

Cheating all along the days with a breath that was warm for the moment and like icicles at the crunch. They provided the impossible torment, the unsolvable puzzle. He followed the words of conviction and deluded himself to her warped philosophy in his drunken stupor. She feasted upon the flesh of others in full view with no outside moral judgement from him, so pacified and convinced otherwise was he. Yet when this was pointed out as disrespectful, the fierce beasts would arise to beat down the emotions and seeming accusations of a friend.

Hell would reign in their house. Friends be damned and loss would follow.

yeah i havent had the internet in awhile
i have more if you would like to hear some

(The Fear of Uncertainty)

You played a god and made a twin
But failed to bolt the screws,
Alas the rogue you spawned to win
Blew clear your path to lose.
You fought in vain to keep it tamed
As your neurotic means,
But it took charge and you became
The boy made of machine.

You groomed yourself like Heracles
And struck the despots down,
Before the sword of Damocles
Was thrust into your crown.
You braved to set the skies alight
With eyes so true and keen,
But fell upon the shroud of night
A boy who'd turned machine.

You'd sunk beneath a noxious sea
And felt your life possessed,
But thrived in hope of breaking free
In swathes of stout unrest.
You'd let your supple parts corrode,
The darkness bend you mean,
Vowing control would be your mode
When you became machine.

You tore apart the astral veil
In frenzy of its lore,
Then gorged the sky until it ailed
And you could stand no more.
You pitched yourself at Heaven's womb
Exposed to the unseen -
The cryptic wilds that would consume
A boy posing machine.

You broke among the social stage
As it occurred to you
That humankind cannot be gauged
Like one and one make two.
You never saw an honest flaw
About your self-routines,
Until at last your romance bore
That men are not machines.

Your Compassion Will be the Death of Me

Deity, why waste your divinity on this banshee
A goddess of such in-human compassion
For I fear your compassion will be the death of me
My sanity is almost completely dissolved, it must be rationed.

Leave me dirty, leave me forever dying
To be bathed clean in the purest of waters would be torture
My hate would turn to vapor, would I be left crying
Everything taken from me, my heart left a scorcher

Love produced from rape
Everything black turned white
As if everything changes shape
Day resurrected from night

Mocked by the mocking bird's song
I don't want the sunshine to spoil
But the sun can't shine for long
In the dead of night you'll find I recoil

Take your hatred out on me
Its the sole reason I feel alive
Send me all your negativity
At least I can't say I never tried

See my life through eyes of disgust
Now I find myself a walking conspiracy
Now there's no one left that I can trust
At least I don't feel empty...

i try anyway maybe you can give me a couple of pointers on something new

and i remember you
love yours maybe you can help me with my makeup sometime

ill add some later maybe if feel like it

lol dont fish

please rate me
please please please please lol

Temple

She Doesn't Love You

Damn this voice in my head
Telling me things I shouldn't have said
Telling me that I should be dead
And that she doesn't love me anymore

God damn this voice in my ear
Telling me all the things I fear
Screaming 'She's gonna leave you, dear'
And that she doesn't love me anymore

****, it's all my fault again
Dying like all that could have been
Drowning in my same old sin
And she doesn't love me anymore

****, I've screwed up once more
This time I think I'll stay on the floor
And as she walks out the door:
'How could I love you anymore?'

Hope Dies

Damned if I do
And damned if I don't
In the past I've tried
In the future I won't
**** me around
Then call me names
If you weren't so blind
You'd know you're to blame

The trust you build
Is torn down with your words
I guess it's just easier for you
To run with the herds
Dream of the day
That you might actually care
But for the moment
Thinking of it I do not dare

The truth lies in my heart
No matter what you may say
I know what I mean
And you will, too, one day
But until that day comes
I'll just stand idly by
And take all the things you say
And slowly watch all hope die

No More Us

It'll be a cold day in Hell
Before I'm able to love again
Everytime I fall, it's to my death
And I'm filled with the old sin

Manifestation of my perpetual nightmare
Loneliness growing strong and deep
My fears build up a tower
Off which I will soon leap

Crushing all that once was
This bed is too big just for one
Oh how I wish at times
Things in the past could be undone

Feeling decaying at my feet
Along with the remnants that were my soul
Anger cast aside for the time being
So all I can feel is this hole

Spent, used, thrashed and bruised
Seems to be the way I live
And an unannounced sadness fills me
When I tell you I've nothing left to give

So leave it at this for now
And leave the peace to rust
For the time has come finally
That there can be no more 'us'

Romance Is Ending

Dance to the whisper of the hurricane
Laugh in the thunderous silence
Make love or seek pain
We smile into a cold shadow
Kindred spirits cry for dawn's twilight
To the ancient horizon we turn to follow

Sing through the voodoo afternoon
Forever embrace the moment
Romance is ending soon
Weep as passion leaves the skies
Dream of Heaven without reason
And pray that life never dies

And as twilight fades into night
We are looking for warmth
Friends taste beautiful by the firelight
Deep fears vanish, we will not regret
Together sex is death
And we remember not to forget

Flames of desire
Now burn low
Stain my mind
When my death is slow

Streak across my sky
Beneath is what I dream
A place without sin
A place that is clean
Feel.
Feel the morbidity
Of the fatal wrath
When I begin my journey
Down my final path
Become.
Bring down the house
Bring on the flame
Dreams are burned away
'Cause I'm the one to blame
Destroy.
Lie to my face
Hatred stays inside
Free me from this thing
Free me from what I hide
Yourself.
Flash in your eye
Tells me what to be
A flash of hate
Which I'm too blind to see

So drain down the life
That dwells so deep down
Grip my hand as we walk
To the place where we shall drown
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