I'll be impressed if *anyone* gets it without resorting to Google.

Sweeeet.

Ok, here's a rap for you SS:

Nerd: when you say it you best say it with awe
'Cos I'm the type of nerd that will bust your jaw
A nerdcore player: I've paid my dues
Got lowered suspension and chromed-out shoes
Hear ye, hear ye, in case you ain't heard:
Twenty-aught-five be the year of the nerd
Nerdcore gonna be crazy large
And we the NIC, b17ch: the Nerds In Charge
Got more rhyme than Theodore Geisel did
Got more game than a twenty-six hundred
For punk emcees who player hate
We've got one word: EXTERMINATE!
Just a matter of time before we're household names
So you best suck up now before fortune and fame
Put our 4sses out of reach of your quivering lips
As we ride to the top on a nerdcore tip

"Carry On Wayward Son" by Kansas.

I win. My turn?

Good enough.

A common problem. He-b17ch-man-slap him for me, k? Great. Thanks.

[Edit: just gotta love that new Autocensor 9000!]

Mars never gets bored. Mars has a permanent party in his head.

Come party with Mars.

~___^

Ooh! On the ball, yic!

He's right.

One more note: humans, like all animals (humans are *not* animals, but there are significant shared biological similarities..discussion for another time...) come pre-programmed with a perfect instinctual road map for how to catch and keep the perfect mate. Once you're confident in yourself and your masculinity (this is important...girls never fall for a guy she perceives as a "boy"), all you have to do is trust your instincts. It takes practice, yes, because of society's backwards programming, but the "map" IS there. You just have to learn to hear it...and its instructions are always flawless.

Point is, she sounds like a cute girl. Cute girls have options. Lots of them. Wanna be able to compete? You have to make yourself stand out against the crowd. You've got to be DIFFERENT. Girls get asked crap like "where do you work? what are your interests? Where did you grow up?"...all. The. Time.

The number one turn-on for every human being in the world is novelty. Keep that in mind and you'll go far. ~_^

Ooh, good question!

Stuff like "What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?"
"What's your most embarrassing fantasy?" "What's the weirdest food you'd try?" "What celebrity do you love to hate?" That kinda thing.

Simon and Garfunkel. =)

Dedicated to Nursehella, because I can.

Optimus Rhyme - "Super Shiny Metal"

It's Mr. Cyberman at your service
I've got the tightest band backin' me up, to make these rappers nervous
The Omega elite
Fit robotic physique
Using the power of suggestion and hypnotic technique
Just to get the crowd congested, see we've gotta compete
I'm standin' three feet deep in pages torn from my notebook
And it's been ages since we logged a defeat
My throat took five years to recover from surgery
But now look: yo it was worth it
I've got these super circuits
(Synthetic. Saliva. Bio. Genetic. Tongue. Drivers.) With inertia
Advanced booster pack implants designed to hurt ya
I'm upgraded, obligated to alert ya
This entire operation was experimental
Lunatic techs warn (This might hurt a little!)
I heard the nurses giggle as they made a cut
Incision down the middle; lucky there's no blood
By the time I woke up my head's spinnin' feelin' fuzzy
I felt the foreign presence of a figure float above me
She disconnected cables just to get the pain settled
I love that girl...that nurse has

(Shiny metal! Shiny metal!
Shiny metal!) Super (Shiny metal!)

I was entranced by the time I recovered
Every night I dreamt that we danced under hospital covers
With bed pans sparkling like stars up above us
My medical condition didn't bother either of us
I woke up wishing I wouldn't be relieved
Couldn't be appeased. Didn't care about those doctor's fees!
I was shocked to see they finally made me leave
Took forty orderlies just to pull me from the sheets, see
And I was in it deep, my heart wounded mortally
I started signing up for surgeries quarterly!
Implants, upgrades, anything to see her face
Dealt with the pain 'cause this girl meant more to me than life
Finally, one day she noticed
I took her to the cafeteria, we shared a soda
Slurped Dr Pepper then I laughed just a little
Man I love that girl...that nurse has

(Shiny metal! Shiny metal!
Shiny metal!) Super (Shiny metal!)

We started datin' and things were moving faster
Cohabitation was the plan that I was after
Finally I asked her: "baby, will you marry me?"
She said no doubt, I'll be with you 'till they bury me!
We tied the knot down in radiology
We danced happily like a polyphonic spree, it was meant to be
We started cranking out the offspring
Bought a dog and we weren't missin' a thing
I thought that I'd retire old; it happened sooner
Handed down my microphone to little Wheelie Jr.
He really tears it up, takes it to that other level
Man I love that kid...that bot's got

(Shiny metal! Shiny metal!
Shiny metal!) Super (Shiny metal!)

Hm. I don't think I know of any songs about Mars.

ooh, hate to say it, but baaad idea.

What I said about having fun applies especially strongly here. Asking the usual questions is BORING. Ask CREATIVE, FUN questions! Ask her stuff that no one ever asks a girl he's into. Make a game of it! You'll discover that the questions you really want answered, like job, family, likes, etc. get answered pretty quick without you ever having to ask.

I completely agree!

Oh, and do NOT tell her outright that you like, love, admire, etc. her. It's FAR more fun for the both of you to tell her in little, subtle ways that leave her guessing. ~__^

Dating is not a game, but if you don't treat it like one you're going to crash-and-burn pretty quick. Just have lean back and have fun.

Car's out-of-comission; had an interview to catch at 5 PM. Hitched a ride with a buddy, Rico.

Interview lasted longer than expected and Rico's uncle got a surprise trip to the ER (he's fine). I got stranded at the interview site for quite a while until B., who's practically my adopted aunt, picked me up and took me to her place where Rico was waiting for me.

As it turned out, he had to get his uncle's car to the hospital where Rico's Uncle and Mrs. Rico's Uncle are staying the night. So I got to drive Ellie (Rico's old Grand Am...gods that girl can purr) while R drove aforementioned uncle's old (sadly nameless) Ford Escort station wagon complete with stick shift and slipping clutch to the hospital for Mrs. Rico's Uncle's use in the AM hours.

Ahh, dear old Murphy. About a third of the way to the hospital a flat was discovered on the Ford, which of course failed to be fixed by Fix-a-Flat. Roadside Assistance was a half-hour late, meaning a full hour and a half wait at a Kwik-E-Mart.

And as soon as the fixitup guy did show we realized that we still had a working car that we could have employed to venture to Wally World for the wrench we needed.

Replaced the flat with the spare, then realized that the spare itself was airless. Fortunately the station we were drydocked at had an air pump. Unfortunately the air pump was out of order. Fortunately there was a gas station nearby with an air pump. Unfortunately theirs was out of order too. So another fifteen minute or so wait until Fixitup Guy found one that worked, filled his air tank he hauls around, and returned to our campsite to bepressurizinate the spare.

One fifteen minute journey later we finally arrived at the h00psital where we tried to enter the wrong door, drove around to the right door, looked for Uncle Rico's room, got lost looking for Uncle Rico's room, found Uncle Rico's room, said hi to Rico's Uncle and Mrs. Rico's Uncle and delivered glad tidings of a fast food dinner, left Uncle Rico's room, searched for the exit, got lost looking for the exit, made fun of each other mercilessly for losing the exit, found the exit, decided we needed to use the restroom, exited the exit, hopped in Ellie, drove off, realized Rico's cellular telephone was still in the Escort, drove back, retrieved the cellular telephone, hopped back into Ellie, drove off, and returned home six hours later than intended.

I had FUN today! (Zero sarcasm intended. It was great.)

Cosmo's a bunch of amateurs. ~_^

I'm going to address this to guys because in general they need to hear it more than girls, but it applies to everyone:

Don't tell your belle that you love her until you're engaged. That thing about being "honest" and "open" and "just telling her how you feel"? Almost guaranteed she'll be off like a shot unless you're already deep into a relationship.

A few key points:
*ATTRACTION IS NOT A CHOICE.
*Humans are intrinsically drawn to what they can't have
*Dating should be about *having fun*
*Clingy guys are not fun. Telling her you love her too early is CLINGY. GIRLS HATE CLINGY. Guys do too, but usually they don't have that problem unless they're mac daddies (like me ~__^). Also, expressing one's affection for the other outright too early kills the chase. When the thrill of the chase is completely gone...the attraction gone.
*FLIRT! Flirting is fun for both parties. Relationships that aren't fun...fall apart. My grandparents are in their eigties, they've been happily married for over 50 years, and they STILL flirt. The thrill of the chase I mentioned? Flirting is humans' natural way of keeping that chase going even after years of commitment.
*This is going to sound sexist, but sorry ladies, it's true: girls are, with *very* few exceptions, attracted to a guy whom they perceive as higher status than themselves. When you treat her like a goddess...game over. Sure, she'll often accept the gifts and expensive dinners, etc. Who wouldn't? But you can give up on ever making her feel that gut attraction for you, bro. Ain't gonna happen. Take a clue from Han Solo. Seriously.

I could go on for hours, but those are the basics of Why Not To Say I Love You Until You're Practically Married.

Ooh! Ooh! Here's a good controversial topic:
Zero-Point Energy as a valid energy source...your thoughts?

I find tastefully arranged simplicity is often just as effective as brain candy.

A nun, a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender asks, "is this a joke?!"