Good Night sleep tight

glad you're enjoying it...things just need to be spiced up here

no problem

A woman walks into a H & R Block Tax accountant's office and tells him that she needs help to file her taxes.

The accountant says, "Before we begin, I'll need to ask you a few questions." He gets her name, address, social security number, etc.

And then asks, "What is your occupation?"

"I'm a prostitute," she says.

The H & R Block accountant is somewhat taken aback and says, "No,No, No, that won't work. Let's try to rephrase that"

The woman says, "OK, I'm a high-end call girl."

"No, that still won't work. Try again."

They both think for a minute; then the woman says, "I'm a chicken farmer."

The accountant asks, "What does chicken farming have to do with
being a prostitute?"

"Well, I raised a thousand little peckers last year."

"Chicken Farmer it is. "

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?

If people evolved from apes,

why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum clean er, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?' Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That really hurt, why don't you watch where you're going?'

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

And my FAVORITE......
The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons are suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

Why are wedding dresses white?

Son asked his mother the following question:

"Mom, why are wedding dresses white?" The mother looks at her son and replies,

"Son, this shows your friends and relatives that your bride is pure."

The son thanks his Mom and goes off to double-check this with his father.

"Dad why are wedding dresses white?"

The father looks at his son in surprise and says,

"Son, all household appliances come in white."

Use whatever pic you wnat but i like the birdie best

Love it

Cold and raining....I love it

You had us very good!!!

I guess most of us aren't as smart as we think

Maybe Popeye should run instead!!! God help us

Thanks for clearing that up

What people need or are on this web site?

I understand all in porn movies except "uneven"

ditto......

Ahhhh should be around 98.6 and comfy..

If I may quote from "The Secret"...
"You attract what you think"

It's the law of attraction....If you think you are going to get a loser then you will.....simple

Hi and welcome!

AHHHH.....

Don't go that way.