I'd add another to that list:

If your new partner has kids (whether they're grown up or not) NEVER try to come between them. Always show a united front even if you don't agree with your partner's stance. If you disagree with they way they've handled something, tell them in private, Never infront of the kids.

That is so true.

It does. Don't get me wrong, a little bit of pampering is nice but I'm not even (and don't want to be) in a relationship with this man. Thankfully he lives 70 miles away, otherwise I get the feeling he'd be very difficult to get rid of.

I honestly could no more have a relationship with this man than fly in the air. He does absolutely nothing for me but at least he (and the guitar) have done some good :)

They guy I kicked into touch as I decided he was far too pushy and disrespected me, well I've had a couple of e-mails from him.

First one was on Saturday.

Before he left at our second meeting (and before I decided I didn't want to see him again) I gave him one of my guitars.

I can hear you say "you did what???" but it was one that needed some TLC and one I never played as I didn't like it. I already have two, one of which is new and lovely to play.

Anyway, he wrote on Saturday to tell me he had repaired the guitar, donated it to a local children's hospice where it was auctioned and raised money for the hospice, so the guitar has found a new home where it will be played and the hospice got a good amount of money for their funds which will benefit the children there.

Anyway, I wrote a polite e-mail back thanking him for doing this. I mentioned briefly that I was having problems with my broken wrist not setting properly and that I'm possibly facing an op to rebreak and pin it in a few weeks time but ended the e-mail in such a way that it didn't need a reply.

Guess who's just e-mailed me? Yes, that's right - he has.

Short e-mail that simply says "...shame you chose not to get involved with me. I would have enjoyed looking after you..."

I hate to tell him I'm a fiercely independent person, I don't like people fussing over me and I've managed quite well one-handed for the past month - even learning to write with my left hand.

I'm also not so desperate that I would get into a relationship that would be wrong for me either.

Think I'm going to have to do a spell to turn him INTO a frog LOL.

There are some very sad, pathetic individuals out there but thankfully they're outnumbered by good, decent people

Lovely and very true words.

Here in the UK also.

I believe every new driver should have to learn to ride a motorcycle first.

I used to ride a motorcycle but after a long break from being on a motorbike, lost my confidence. Maybe I will take it up in the future. Still have my leathers though.

ALWAYS, ALWAYS THINK BIKE!!!

Yes to most questions and yes it has had a knock on effect through my life even though my mother has been dead for years now.

It has affected any relationship I've had, particularly the sexual side. When you hear your mother saying sex is disgusting/decent girls don't enjoy sex/you're promiscuous if you even THINK about sleeping with a man etc. etc. then it does have a lasting effect.

I've never enjoyed the intimate side of a relationship, even while married and I believe it is 100% down to my mother's skewed views.

I brought my kids up differently. My son currently doesn't have a girlfriend but my daughter has been in a happy relationship for many years now. Both talk openly to me about sex and seem to be much better balanced than I'll ever be.

I wish I could get rid of these hang ups but I doubt I will now and feel I've always missed out on something wonderful

Want to know the origins of the "F" and "C" word? They're old Anglo Saxon words which were once not classed as vulgar.

In days of old, when knights were bold he would come home from the Crusades, unlock the chastity belt and whisper in her ear...

"How I have missed thee. Are thou ready to f***, fair maid?" while carrying her off to the bed chamber...

...only to find that it had healed up to which he shouted "C***"!!!

Seriously, they are old Anglo Saxon words.

I swear a lot but only with people I know well. I won't swear infront of children or when I'm in company.

Here in the UK just about everyone cusses.

It wasn't lust - that was the last thing on my mind. Only way I can describe it was I felt I'd been zapped by an electric current.

Even stranger, during the 10 years we'd lost contact, there was one night I had a strange dream. In the dream I saw him in a hospital bed. When I woke I knew something bad had happened to him. When we met up again I nearly fell off my seat when he told me he'd been very ill and had nearly died. The hospital thought he was not going to survive the night. He told me that he dreamed of me and that somehow I gave him the strength to fight back. He nearly fell off his seat when I told him of my dream.

Believe what you will but we shared some kind of bond that can't be explained that went way beyond anything physical.

I know, even yet when I think of this man, I smile inside

LOL.

Men who say they'd treat their lady like a princess actually put me off (I know guys, you can't win LOL).

I'm a very independent person and the type that can't be bought with gifts. I want to be treated as a person, not some bimbo princess.

To me, these men come over as either overbearing, desperate or both. Most seem to want someone who dresses beautifully all the time, has her hair and make-up done to perfection at all times and is what I term a wet lettuce, simpering on the arm of her man.

I can dress beautifully when the need arises but prefer jeans and trainers (sneakers?), my hair tied back in a ponytail and no make-up.

Whoever is daft enough to take me on would quickly learn I'm my own person LOL.

I think there is love at first sight. I fell for a man I worked for the moment I saw him. Got well and truly knocked off me feet. Kept my feelings to myself. The more I got to know him, the more I liked him. No romance at the time as it was work but we had a special raport and could spark each other off. The job we did ended and he went back to America and I moved to England. We lost touch.

Fast forward 10 years. We got in touch and amazingly he came to the UK often to a city not far from me. We started seeing each other. The feelings were still there.

I ended the relationship because I couldn't cope with the LDR when he went back home or elsewhere in the world as he travelled a lot.

Eventually I met and married my now late husband but have never forgotten this man - even yet. He will always have a special place in my heart, so yes, there is such a thing as love at first sight but it doesn't always work out for various reasons.

A friend of mine was born with severe Scoliosis (curvature of the spine).

She uses an electric wheelchair to get around. The only things she can do for herself is brush her hair and feed herself. She needs full-time care.

It didn't stop her getting married and having 4 kids (by natural means too).

She is still happily married and was even voted Mother of the Year locally.

At the time people said the marriage wouldn't last. At the wedding some people shook their heads and said it was all very sad (!)

Well, she and her husband proved all the doubters wrong as they have now been married over 25 years

Love is colour blind.

Love is a universal language.

My Aunt married a black man just after the Second World War.

That was still at a time when people were prejudiced. I was brought up to judge people by the way they treated me, not by the colour of their skin. Certain derogatory words were banned in our household and God help you if we ever dared to utter one.

My cousins of course, were mixed race but we never even noticed. They were our cousins - end of.

Sadly, my Uncle died young from a massive heart attack. I can just remember him as I was about 3 or 4 years old at the time. I remember him as a kind, happy, smiling man - a lovely person.

My Aunt never looked at another man again and died in her 90s still a widow. She once said she would never find another man who could fill her husband's shoes.

They truly loved each other.

GREAT IDEA

When I need my mood lifting, I think on the beautiful first flowers of Spring - the humble Snowdrop. Such fragile little flowers yet they withstand the worst storms. I always think, if they can do it, so can I. They're inspirational.

I have discovered how isolated I've become as this is not my home town. I didn't notice when my husband was alive. My nearest good friend lives 50 miles away, the other 300 miles away. Apart from one or two people who were actually my husband's friends, I don't know that many people so last night I went to a local singles club with my son's best friend's mother and had a really lovely evening. They organise lots of activities throughout the year so is ideal to get me out and about and make new friends, both male and female

That's life (and love)

But you'd be surprised how many people THINK they can live your life for you and tell you what to do. I get it all the time. "Oh, but you've only been widowed under a year" blah blah blah. Yeah? So? Hello. I deserve some happiness in my life. Oddly enough, these are all people who will be going home to their partners. I go home alone (apart from my son) but they don't think of that. I just ignore them. If I want to go out with someone I will. After all, it is my life, not theirs and until they've been where I've been (and other widows and widowers like me), they haven't got a clue.

I haven't had an easy life, especially in the last 10 years. A year ago my husband was in hospital for 3 months. I went to hell and back with him. Two weeks after he came home he died of an underlying colon disease no-one knew he had (not cancer).

So, how do you put a positive spin on something like that?

His sudden death was really a blessing in disguise. Had he not had this other "silent" disease, he had between a few months to 3 years to live. He had heart failure. He would have had a long, slow, lingering death where eventually, even on oxygen, he would have been fighting to breathe. The positive was he was spared that.

For me. I learned that I had more inner strength than I gave myself credit for. A positive.

I don't live in the past or the what might have beens. Instead I look forward and hope that one day I will meet another man who I can be happy with and make happy in return. A positive.

If we live in the past (negative) we stop ourselves moving on and being happy.

Seems to me this man is wallowing in self-pity and you are encouraging this by smothering him in kisses etc. Strikes me that he's very insecure and is relying on you to constantly boost his ego.

This type of relationship is based on pity not love and it can be very easy to confuse the two. Ultimately he will drag you down with him.

I can't tell you what to do but if it was me I'd get out of that relationship very quickly.

You deserve better.

And there is one other thing, he could be a depressive. I was married to such a man for 10 years. That marriage ended in divorce.