I've been talking to a girl from New Jersey for about 6 years.
She's surprisingly pleasant, loving, and funny.
She's also one of my closest friends.

Umm... good luck with your search?
I wouldn't mind having a jersey girl myself.

Yeah, boy. Heh Heh Heh.
Let it walk and let it talk and stick it on the wall.
Lately when I say to you baby, don't know what I know.
Let it walk and let it talk and rooty tooty doo
Lately when I see you baby, don't know what I do.
When I say no, yeah, I mean no.
Take me back to Detroit, piehole!
Let it walk and let it talk and what the hell you say?
Lately when I see you baby, each and every day.
Let it walk and let it talk and rooty tooty doo.
Lately when I see you baby, don't know what I do.
When I say no, yeah, I mean no.
Pass me some of that dumbass over there, yeah boy.
Let it walk and put it down and walk it on the wall.
Lately when I see you baby, don't know what I know.
Let it walk and let it talk and what the hell you say?
Lately when I see you baby, each and every day.
When I say no, yeah, I mean no.
Bernie, Bring me my bacon! Berni

Thank you.

Paradise Lost

You smiled at me.
For a moment, your eyes unlocked heaven.
And I felt something.
A tranquil yet subtle energy.
And I knew.

For I have always loved you.
No matter how hard you try,
I will always see you through.
Tomorrow is a new day,
and there is hope for something more.
And I never knew just what you had in store.

For there is a new beginning,
I planned for something real.
Your guidance has saved me,
and you gave me something to feel.

As your arms embrace me,
I know not fear.
And as your lips penetrate me,
I hold you ever closer, my dear.

But I ****ed it all up.
I should have thought twice.
You gave me it all, and I never asked.
And now I pay the price.

For I have always loved you,
and you can never love me again.
The words you spoke were always true,
and I have to say goodbye, my friend.

Forgive me.
I am only human.

Final Days

My last words were writen today.
It told about a life full of experience,
regret and dismay.
Of happiness and splendor,
of wonder and contemplation.
And of everything once remembered,
and now never forgotten.

Life is beautiful.
It has its ups and downs.
Before we know it,
we're six feet in the ground.

So I ask you now,
take every moment with ease.
For it may be your last.
Your regret becoming your worse disease.

When we can stop lying,
We can appreciate.
And there is no use in denying that our thoughts may procreate.
Into something more,
we never knew.

Listen to your intention,
and live by what makes you shine.
You are not another number.
Indeed, you are one of a kind.

Life is knowledge.
Knowledge is understanding.
Understanding is acceptance.
And acceptance is love.

Solitary Not

She picked me up,
then set me back down.
And all of the world sang to me.

She told me a tale,
the beginning of the world,
and the reightous men that would lead.

Tell me now, when were we found?
And encompass me in the sea.

As she stood there,
I felt her weep.
I knew this had to end.

Then she smiled at me,
her energy flowed through me.
Now I know I'm not alone.

And now the clouds blanket the sky,
and she left me,
to begin her new life.

Remember me,
don't forget about me,
and we shall never part.

I call out to her,
and I feel her around.
Her energy never leaving me.

Moving Forward

There was nothing that interested me today.
My thoughts were few, and I felt like stopping.
There was no drive left to move.

And I thought about my goals,
my life's ambitions,
and I realized how false my life could be.

People tell me I am still young,
but how can I feel so old?
Is time moving too fast?
Or am I?

And before I knew it, it all flew past me.
I didn't move forward.

We have the times when we want to give up.
Nobody else is here, and we have only ourselves.
But there is still hope, as fleeting as it may be.
And we still have time to find who we need to be.

If we follow what others have set out, we may fail.
If we deliver the knowledge that has been nailed into our brains, we are destined to learn nothing.
And if we continue to hold still, waiting for the right moment, we are destined to never go anywhere.

This is my last moment,
but where have I really traveled?
Is this all that life has to offer?

I shrug the thought off,
and I continue to go,
always moving forward.

Stephen King has always said that when he writes, he has no idea how it is going to end or even what's going to happen. He just simply writes. He lets it flow. And he, as he says, "plants the seed and naturally allows it to grow."

And he is right.

In the six months, Josh and I have made a lot of material. A lot of good material, all in one take.
We've got at least 6 albums worth of material.

How can we produce so much?

We both have a chemistry. We both have no limits, no real ideas, or no hopes for what our stuff will sound like.
We just flow.

A true artist has no expectations when they go into their art. They have no desired outcome, and a good amount of them don't ever expect to make it big.

In a lot of ways, the most original and genuine work is done when the artist allows him or herself to completely go, and just go naturally with what comes out.
This is how Josh and I make our music.
And for the most part, it always comes out good.

This is not saying that having an idea is a bad thing. On the contrary; an idea can be good.
However, having an idea, having a desired plan takes a lot of time, and not so much can be done.

People have their slow times. The times when nothing original is coming out, or the times when there just seems to be nothing to make.
I think that if we were to all tap into what makes us us, and if we could just allow ourselves to be free from any kind of idea, material will be produced. Even if others do not like it, the artist probably will.

It is incredibly liberating to hear our music.
I still can't believe I took part in what I did.
I really value Josh and I's work. I listen to it very often.

True art is something that can never be explained; only experienced.
And true bliss is only found within the deepest part of your soul when you can allow yourself to let go of everything just for a while.

No matter what others think of your work, just remember that they have no idea just how much fun you had making it, and just how much you will always love it.
If you can remember that, nothing that anybody says will phase you.

And to the artists out there reading this, good luck on your journey.
The least you will get out of it is experience, knowledge, and an understanding of life.

you know... going to big parties with a bunch of idiots who are only there to get sex or get ****ed up.
I also don't care much for bars or clubs.

What is fun for me is creation.
Creation brings out the best in a Capricorn, I think.
It doesn't matter if I am making new music or writing, as long as my mind is active, I can have fun.

Wow. Seems we both need the same things to be happy.
nice to hear back from you.

And how do you view yourself?

how do you describe yourself as a Capricorn?

Haha. I am only the poor fellow because I am not downtown tonight, I am not with my roommate at the party he went to, and I think Amanda left south Austin to go back up north.

Sigh.

At least I can look forward to work tomorrow.

Jameson Irish Whiskey is where it is at.

I absolutely love being an Earth Sign sometimes.
And, at others, I can hate it all together.

I've been described as cold, reserved, jaded, structured, logical, and independent.
But does that mean I can still have fun?
Yes, but what you may find fun... I may find terribly irritating.

It's got to the point where I do not mind if I am alone on a Friday night, simply because I can handle it.
And I thank my Earth Sign for that.

I do not crave the attention like the Leos or the Libras.
I am not nearly as fiery as a Saggitarius or an Aries.
And I am definately not as much as a risk taker as a Gemini.

I am just me.
I am complicated, I don't do the normal fun things, and I guess I really am reserved.

At times, I absolutely crave the attention of another.
The majority of the time, I just keep to myself.

Sure, my Capricorn traits don't define me... but they definately have an impact on my life.

I'd like to hear from other Capricorns on this matter.
But, if you want to add in your input, go ahead.

I am bored. It is Friday night, and I am in Austin, Texas.


Amuse me, will you?

I love sex. Don't get me wrong.
I also love having someone to hold, talk to, cuddle with, and help me see a blue sky when there is none.

I don't see myself getting married.
If I do, it will be in another 10 years, at least.

Maybe I just am growing up, or maybe I am too independent.

*shrugs*

Wow. Really good call. I absolutely adore cats.

A few years ago, I had no problem finding a relationship.
It is also fair to mention that when I did find that right girl, sex was almost immediate.
That was good, even though some of those relationships may have been a little flawed.

Well, it's been a year and five months since I've been in a relationship, and it's been at least 5 or 6 months since I've last had sex.

So, if it was so easy for me to get with someone in the past, why is it so hard now?

My sex drive hasn't been destroyed. Sure, it may not be strong due to me smoking marijuana, but it is still functioning properly. So, I can count that out.
I have confidence, and I love meeting new people, so we can factor that out.

I think it may be because I've grown apathetic or I would much rather wait around to see where things go... even though I still desire sex a lot.

I've been hanging out with a girl for the past few days.
She is excellent, and it is possible that we are going to date even though we have not spoke of it. Kind of an unspoken thing.
We've not had sex either.
I am thinking that just maybe I am allowing things to slow down simply because of past relationships.
Or maybe I really have become apathetic.

So, I am asking you, the reader... what do you think the problem is, even though I didn't give enough information?
Anything will help, and maybe it will get me going again.

-Russ

Building towers in the spring.
with my lovely Irene.
How good it feels to be,
another spirit in the breeze.

Taking steps to fight my sadness.
The season change only causes madness.
I keep crying to my sweet Irene.
Because I can't keep my spirit clean.

And through the darkness, I have come.
I fought the sadness, and I did not succumb.
To my sweet ol' Irene.
She has a violent side, and she's often mean.

Building towers in the spring.
with my lovely Irene.
How good it feels to be,
another spirit in the breeze.

Taking steps to fight my sadness.
The season change only causes madness.
I keep crying to my sweet Irene.
Because I can't keep my spirit clean.

And through the darkness, I have come.
I fought the sadness, and I did not sucumb.
To my sweet ol' Irene.
She has a violent side, and she's often mean.