I did ask 2 men. So the former. I don't have any interest or desire in having a woman touch me intimately. Plus, the 2 men scenario is strictly fantasy. I don't think I would enjoy 2 men groping me at the same time.

Happiness is a beautiful woman coming on to you and your friend at 2am in a bar.. and your friend is Uche

I think sex its wonderful to have it with the right person I,m up for the offer lol

you idea is right but not 100% real.

you wouldn't have to.. you would still be outside screaming at the window of how we have ruined our lives as we were taking our 1/2 time nap ;)

All I know is that my offer for a m�nage a trois is on!!!

I have long operated from the premise that men like women whom they find desirable on many levels; looks, intellect, personality, social skills, and values among others so the sex factories only one of many. And, while I am told they also want her to be sexually capable and willing give appropriate commitment, she does not have to prove that by engaging in premature intercourse; if they are in fact willing to commit to one mate.

Not all men are. I have not found those men desirable and I find passing them over more than easy. Most men are quite clear in declaring their relationship intentions so it is not exactly rocket science. It is just simply waiting for them to decide if you meet their over all criteria. And they yours.

However there certainly have been no shortage of dating offers, and even courtship offers, at every age including the one I am at now; 61. True I have been single a good number of years at this point but it is not for lack of offers.

I do not know that the fact that I do not have casual sex hurts my dating chances because You are rarely aware of the people who do NOT select you.

But; I have been repeatedly told by the men who do chose to pursue me that it is refreshing to not have to contend with the "risks" of someone who is/has been more active sexually, knowing that they do not have to deal with a laundry list of men talking about their intimate relations with "their" prospective mate, and the fact that if I can wait for them prior to the commitment then it is more likely that I would be able to control myself once in the relationship; especially when they can not be available for one reason or another. I have also been told it is a confidence builder to know that if and when I do decide to be intimate with someone they are not having to worry about a multitude of comparisons. Surprising to me these comments come from men who have limited as well as "extensive" sexual histories.

What never has surprised me is that more often than not when men want to settle down they will opt for the woman who has held back on being with every Tom, Dick, and Harry that comes along even when they have had the "availability", used it , and lost interest in it. I really don't think it is because being more selective makes me more a challenge or not. I doubt it because I rarely leave any doubt in a mans mind about weather I plan to have sex with him if the relationship progresses to that level.

Does having some restraint about who you do and do not have sex with tend to "motivate" men to make a decision about a relationship? Yes I think it definitely does. If you are sharing all the perks of a relationship with out the responsibility I think a person has to say hey why buy the cow if milk Is free. This is a gender neutral observation/devaluation since I have seen women exploit men for years also.

You are on the pinnacle of virtue, uche.
Quite commendable.
I hope you bring others on to that pedestal of yours.
That divide you refer to exists, but it's not geographical.
Sex is just sex. It is as clean or dirty as anyone's perception of it, depending on what they know.
You should start asking which sexual position is most sacred for married couples...that should heat things up...:p

Lol. sounds good.. we better upgrade to the sound proof walls and bolted down furniture room ;)

I think Uche and Devildog (and I) should get a room...

What I don't really understand, ever, is why you keep trying to ram your culture and religion and its habits down our throats? Does it come to mind at all that that is actually rather disrespectful and incredibly judgmental?

In western countries, women can have a mind of their own, they can be -and usually are- strong, independent and can stand on their own two feet. We can choose to say "no" to sex outside of a relationship, or "yes" if wish to do so. The fact that you don't condone or understand, doesn't make that immoral nor wrong.
It's almost as if you think western people live one big huge orgy.

I personally feel it's more wrong to try to convince people that enjoying what a body can give you is sinful. If it was wrong, we wouldn't have a body, or a different means to create offspring than through physical pleasure.
That doesn't mean you have to overindulge, but what is to be considered overindulging, is up to the individual. And maybe some want and need to overindulge. So what?

If you feel it's right to not have sex for 5 years because you're single, good for you. But please don't call people who choose differently 'cheap'.

I also don't believe a man will lose interest if a woman does want sex. First of all, many couples don't want to get married (again), meaning they could never have sex with your agenda.
Secondly, who'd want to marry if they didn't know they matched sexually? In our culture sex is about both parties enjoying it, meaning that if a man and woman don't have the same desires and drives, love will go out the window pretty fast.