OK, I don't want to sound too harsh here, because you are in a very difficult situation and I do understand that and have compassion for that as well.

But I must tell you directly that you should get counseling for yourself, no matter if you stay or if you leave.

Why would I say this? because you have a child from a previous relationship that did not work. Now you have another child in a relationship that is in serious trouble. Have you given no thought in bringing children into this world in such an enviroment????

Your CHILDREN are paying a veyr high price for YOUR DECISIONS!!! That's NOT fair for those children!

Being together a year or just over, and decideing to put a child into the mix..well I say this the EVERY PERSON out there.. ya better damn well start putting some thought into your future and when you plan children, you better think hard and long about the WELL BEING OF THE CHILDREN!

Because of this, you should seek counseling, because you are forming a clear pattern of actions, so there may be issues on your end to address. Do that for yourself AND your children, no matter if you stay of if you go.

Those children deserve to be happy and have a stable and functional home. The children should not have to pay for bad decsions on part of the parent.

Again, just my opinion and I am not "flaming" you. I felt compelled to state that for your children's sake.

Oh geez! Well first, welcome to the land of "fruits flakes and nutz!"

It's a BIG state..so depends on what part you live in.

There is TONS to do out here! I spent most of my life in Oklahoma (armpit USA), so I appreciate all the things to do out here, even though many of the people are either fruits flakes or nutz..or a combination thereof.

Beach, mountains, desert, amusements parks, concerts... may be easier to list what there is NOT to do in California!

Whatever you do..HAVE FUN!

I agree with all of that.

Hmm well, so 18 months ago everything was fine??? How long have you two been together? Since you have a child together, counseling MIGHT be an OPTION ( I place those in CAPS attempting to make sure this comes across in its true manner to all readers).

It would be hard to think things could go from "just fine and wonderful" to "I hate you guts" in as little as 18 months. But it does seem to happen.

To stay together for the "kids sake'..why? To show your children how to live as an unloving and disfunctional family? Definitely not worth it.

Just my opinion and best of luck!

I do agree with part of what you say here.

I definitely agree that so many have no clue of what real "love" is and hence a HUGE part of the divorce rate. Add in that America has made divorce so easy and a BUSINESS in so many ways..the numbers are staggering.

However 90% of people getting married due to the "physical attraction"? I can't go with such a high number. I have seen more getting married for the false "love" factor, which most would include the physical attraction, but many other factors weigh heavier than that. Like the idea of "love" itself and then emotional stability, financial stability, a form of security, etc.

I also agree with the "lack" of self control, especially among men. Women do have the same 'drive" but just hide it better (actual documented fact). But again 9 out of 10?? I just don;t see that, maybe 6 out of 10 i could see.

I also agree with the reason of self doubt. Good point and agree with you there as well.

LOL on the "love at first sight". As I posted, too broad and too many definitions for me to even take a shot at that one. it use to exist in some form..actually knew of people, met and married in 3 weeks..had been married happily over 50+ years. It is rare, but since I have seen it first hand, I would have to say it can exist.

Get'm Hiker!

Hmmm..now thats a tougher one. Physical attraction is easy, because it involves the one thing.

Love at first sight...don't think I can really answer that one. because "love" involves many more attributes than just the physical attarction..although that is usally one factor.

Too many definitions for me to take a shot at that one.

????????

The poster asked "what is physical attraction"?

In ANY healthy and good relationship, there usually is and should be "physical attraction". We are ALL made sexual creatures..that's just "fact"

If you are "physically attracted" to someone it does NOT mean you are going to ACT on it. Give some people credit for some "self control".

Physical attraction is just that..you are attracted to thier physical self. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. It's one of the most natural characteristics as humans...especially for men who lean heavier on sight and are also chemically driven (testosterone).

It means you are sexually aroused at sight.

OH OK, cool, thanks for letting me know what it was about..I was seriously unclear.

Good luck!

ROFLMAO..thats why I love ya Madam!!!

But I have no heart..just ask my EX, she will tell you I'm a totally "heartless b*astard!" and prolly about 25 other top 10 names. As to all the other things.. I PLEAD THE 5th!

Its totally cool with me and most others. You have great credentials and just want people to know they can put some reliability into what advise you have to offer. It's a GOOD thing.

But wanted to warn you, just in case you get hit by the couple of strange users that lurk. Have had 3 or 4 threads totally wiped because of them.

So just a "heads up" and if it happens you know whats going on.

Maybe its because I just woke up 2 hours ago and still not awake yet.

But what is this about???

Hey Zewl,

Good credentials...just some freindly advise, especially in this forum. Be real carefulwhen even stating your credentials. Most of us understand you are only saying them in a good way to let people know you are qualified and they can put some trust into your advise.

Sadly there are a couple of users that actually take such statements as if you are "boasting" or trying to put yourself above them.

I know, that's totally pathetic..but unfortunately true in this case. I have been running into a couple of users that are exactly that way. Anytime you just try to give a little advice in what you really do have expertise in, they somehow take it as a personal style attack against "them". Amazing...but true!

But welcome to the forums and the computer section. Hope to see you around here a lot and look forward to chatting. Always nice to chat about common interests and experiences.

You want to write someone in??? Then lets do it RIGHT! get 75 million voters to write in "Elmer Dinkly" for President!!!

OK takin mine down, cause I'm hittin the hay. G'nite to all!

LOL..yeh I know those too..nothing like staring at Yosemite Sam and his guns are in your face while you are trying to do your business!

LOL..like mine is in a "private" spot..yeh right. Plus its the only one I got!