My best friend and my brother are engaged to be married in late June. They have been dating for about 5 years or so. They are really great people, but I've always felt that they have kind of settled for each other, because they don't think they can do any better. Not to mention, that they constantly fight. To the point where I usually don't hang out with both of them, unless it's a family function, because it gets uncomfortable. Point is - I don't think they should be getting married. Not anytime soon anyway.

I've told my friend, let's call her Melissa, several times that I think she should date other people. I haven't said anything since they got engaged over the summer. And my brother and I aren't close enough for us to have that kind of conversation. Just to say, I'm far from the only one who thinks they should not be getting married.

My question is: Should I say something again? Melissa has mentioned to me that she's unsure if my brother is really wanting to get married. I want to tell her (for the millionth time) that I think she should wait and/or date other people, but at the same time I feel like she already knows how I feel and I just have to back away and let her make her own decision whether it's the right one or not.

I just keep picturing years from now their marriage going down the drain and I'm ridden with guilt, because I didn't speak up enough.


What do you guys think? Should I let her be? Or try to talk some sense into her again?

Oh, my bad. I had those settings up when I wasn't active on the forums at all. It's fixed!

I don't know of this Adam Ant video you speak of. I'm just going to assume it's a compliment.

To a certain extent. Although, on the other hand, I would rather that than responding and holding conversations if they aren't really interested at all. At least you know 100% how they feel if they don't respond.

And just to say, I think that a lot of people don't check their account very often.

Thanks, guys.

Could you guys do me a favor?

I'm just curious which picture is the best for my default. I have 8 pictures. If you don't mind, could you check them out and give me the number (1-8) of which one you like best?

Pictures of yourself always look different to other people.

Thanks guys!

Welcome, Mr. Budlight. Hope you enjoy your stay!

This is how I picture it:

Stocky: More like big-boned. I can't picture a tall guy who might have a little bit of a beer belly as 'stocky'.

Heavy-set: You'd have quite a bit to lose to be 'thin'.

A few extra pounds: If I just lost 5-10 pounds I'd be perfect.

That's just in my head though. Who knows what they really mean.

I was in a very similar situation with my best guy friend about a year ago. At first, I had convinced myself that I would talk with him about it, but I was so worried about ruining our friendship or making it awkward if he didn't feel the same way.

I decided to ride it out, just to see if anything would change. I ended up going on a few dates along the way, and really liking some other guys. After dating other people, I realized that my feelings for my guy friend weren't as strong as I thought.

In hind sight, I now know that I was most likely looking for the comfort of a mate, and him being a close friend and a male, my mind went directly to him.

Maybe you should try dating other people and seeing if they measure up to your friend. If you really give dating a try and you still can't get your mind off of your friend, then I would say talk to him about it. At least that way you will know that your feelings aren't stemming from feelings of loneliness. Otherwise you will always be wondering 'what if?'.

Just another point - you have to decide if your friendship with him is more important than the possibility of a relationship. You never really know how it will affect your friendship if/when you bring it up.

The short of it: Take your time, be sure of your feelings, and weigh your options.

Good luck!

...that I have Chick-fil-a nuggets for lunch today, and I'm very excited.

I mean just see if he's even interested in me like that. For all I know, he won't even call. Or perhaps when we go shopping this weekend he invites his friends including his girlfriend. I don't want to completely write him off as a bad guy before I really know what's going on. You know what I mean?

Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. Since we'll be seeing each other a few times just us, I'll be able to feel him out more. And perhaps get a chance to talk to him. I definitely don't want to give him the wrong impression. I'm absolutely not the "other woman" type.

My guy best friend, Mike, has a brother, Dan, who I have a crush on. Here are the most recent situations:

At a bar, a few of us, including Mike and Dan. Dan and I really had a great intelligent, fun conversation - quite refreshing!

Last weekend he came out with me and some friends to dinner. I was sitting next to him, and the flirting definitely increased. First of all, he thinks I'm HILARious which is incredibly awesome. :) We were scooting into our seats and I sort of ran into him 'cause I thought he was going to keep scooting and he was like "no, it's okay. you can sit right here" as he was patting his lap! It was obvious in the joking manner, but I still said "Don't you have a girlfriend?". Yes, he has a girlfriend. LAME. Let me tell you the rest though. So the rest of that night we were having a blast with each other and even shared a dessert. That was the jist of that night.

Last night, a group of us went out to dinner again. By the end of the night, he invited me to go fishing in a couple of weeks, go out to this 80s dance thing next week, and go out this weekend to go shopping for the 80s thing. He's buying one of our friend's tickets to the dance thing, and I was joking about if he feels generous he should buy my ticket, too. And he was like "Do you really want me to? 'Cause if I did, it would have to be a date." See? How can he NOT like me?

Obviously there is good and bad here. I definitely wouldn't go about anything with him still having a girlfriend. Plus, I would double-check with Mike to make sure he wouldn't care. It's just so rare to find an intelligent, funny, good-looking guy that you just get along with so greatly.

Any thoughts? I need some guidance!

-Becki

Well, hopefully she knows a few more words, or perhaps some more unique lyrics to narrow it down. Just a thought!

I'm not familiar with the song, but if I'm trying to find a singer and I only know some words, I'll try google. For instance I would try typing in the search "lyrics 'I want you more everyday'" and see what comes up. It might take a little searching, but it usually works.

Good luck!

Sigh... okay. I think I can accept that.

Haha... oops. I didn't even realize how that sounded.

Feel free to say the good AND the bad. I can take it.

I just figured I should post in the "Maryland" topic. It only seems natural. I don't know about you guys, but I've been really busy recently. It's hard to keep up a social life when I'm in my last (and busiest!) semester as well as working 27 hours/week on top of it. Fun stuff! It's okay though... only 72 days until graduation. That doesn't seem too long... right?

Anyway, how are you guys doing?