GreenEyes48


GreenEyes48 Joined Thu 08/26/10 Posts: 1319	Fri 03/01/13 12:18 PM Topic: How easily do you fall in LOVE?
It takes me a long, long time to let down my "guard.".. I want to wait until I have a chance to see "all sides" to a man before I hand him my heart (and trust) on a "silver platter."...I may have feelings for someone but I'm not going to "leap" into anything prematurely...I probably view love like a soup or pasta sauce. It takes time for all the ingredients to "mix" and blend together...I don't want to rush the process... I won't talk about love until I feel totally comfortable with someone at all times...When I'm "sure" of who he really is...No "instant" or "overnight" love for me! Yep; I agree with what she said. hi navygirl, good to see you back from your weekend away... Thanks. It was fun and I found myself a great new job; so all is perfect in my little world. excellent news then... will it be permanent? Yes; its permanent and it's a supervisory job with a chance to move up the ladder; as well wearing blue jeans, and having my own office. Less hours and better hours so I can actually eat properly again rather than rushing from work to my other events. Congratulations Navygirl that is Great!! Thanks Toodygirl5. I feel so much more happier now and feel now that I have something to look forward to. I also think my health will be much better and less burn out. navygirl...Congratulations on your new job! YEA! And I hope your health improves now that you have less stress in your life!

GreenEyes48 Joined Thu 08/26/10 Posts: 1319	Fri 03/01/13 12:03 PM Topic: How much influence do we really have?
I think my parents would have been shocked and upset and disappointed and even worried if I ended-up in a traditional marriage...It would have seemed foreign to them since they enjoyed being best friends and "equals." (In their marriage.)...If a did end-up playing a passive role in my marriage I'm sure my parents would have encouraged me to develop more "guts" and "gumption."...But I didn't go the "traditional route" because it just wasn't in my nature...My parents tried to help one of my cousins become more assertive with her husband. She was shy and lacked confidence and had trouble "speaking-up" for herself...In the end my cousin's husband left her (and their 4 kids) for a younger woman...My parents tried to help my cousin get back on her "feet" and come into her "own." (With or without a man in her life.) what a sad story about your cousin... My cousin was the youngest of 2 daughters in her family...My Aunt definitely favored her oldest daughter and considered her the "star." And she "trashed" her younger daughter and "wrote" her off as a "nothing."...My parents were gutsy and staged an "intervention" when my cousin was young because she had become extremely self-conscious and had very little confidence...My Dad told his brother to stand-up and act like a man to protect his daughter from his wife's constant "put-downs."...But my Uncle was passive and afraid of his wife's "wrath."...There was no physical abuse just mental and emotional abuse so the authorities couldn't be called-in. (This was back in the old days.)...My parents tried to help my cousin all they could but she ended-up pretty "damaged" and married abusive men. Sad!

GreenEyes48 Joined Thu 08/26/10 Posts: 1319	Fri 03/01/13 11:43 AM Topic: How do you handle a boring date?
I think I have something (or lots of things) to learn from everyone...But dating involves the "hint" or possibility of an "involvement." And this is why I don't date yet...I'm not ready for the possibility of an "involvement" right now...And I worry about hurting someone's feelings by "saying no" to further dates if I don't feel a "click" or "connection" on my "end.".. I get a headache from thinking about all of it..Everything was "easy" and "light and breezy" when I met my husband because we were "just friends" (and nothing more) for 2 whole years before love entered the picture...And we both said (and felt) that we probably would have stayed friends forever even if we didn't fall in love.

GreenEyes48 Joined Thu 08/26/10 Posts: 1319	Fri 03/01/13 11:21 AM Topic: If you are to change one thing in your body.
I know I'm far, far, far, far from perfect! But I guess I'm just "used" to who I am and how I look and act etc...I'm not one to do much "remodeling" in general.. Call me "plain Jane" and I'm okay with it...Maybe I was Amish (or ?) In my past life and some of it "stuck" with me!...I just don't fuss or worry much about my outside (physical) appearance..But I'm into learning and growing "mentally" (and even in spiritual ways) whenever possible.

GreenEyes48 Joined Thu 08/26/10 Posts: 1319	Fri 03/01/13 11:04 AM Topic: Whats ur favorite midnight snack??
Probably Hershey's Chocolate Nuggets but I don't buy them very often...So I'd say toast and hot chocolate. Or ice cream in the summer.

GreenEyes48 Joined Thu 08/26/10 Posts: 1319	Fri 03/01/13 07:44 AM Topic: How do you handle a boring date?
You're on a first date with someone and you're starting to feel bored. How do you handle things?...Do you try to switch the conversation around to a more interesting topic? (More interesting for you.)...How do you get a "long-winded" person (non-stop talker) to "wind-down" so you'll have a chance to talk and say a few things too? I get quiet, remain cordial, smile tightly a lot, nod my head up and down A LOT, and insist on going dutch when the bill arrives....The end... I'd probably handle it this way too...But what happens if the guy thinks the date "went well" and keeps calling? And wants to get together again? (Someone who won't "go away!")...I used to run into this "stuff" earlier in life. (Before I met and married my husband.)...I'd say that we didn't have a lot in common. (Or something like this.) But some of the guys acted like "wounded puppy dogs" and tried to make me feel guilty (or wrong) for "rejecting" them. (And not going on more dates with them.)...I "care" too much about other peoples' feelings at times! This is probably why I'm a loner...Don't want to open-up any "can of worms!" Or get in "sticky situations!" Nine times out of ten, they know the date didn't "go well" but they convince themselves that the next one will (this is what I think anyway)...The ones who hang on, won't give up, are the price you pay for being nice I guess ...No way am I am going to be rude to a guy on a first date just because I find him boring and I would hope the same curtesy would be extended to me if the situation were reversed...Most of us can take a hint ...BUT...The ones who hang in, call, send flowers and gifts, stop in unannounced simply refuse to give up, have to be told in no uncertain terms that you are not interested in any kind of relationship with them...It sucks, but it comes with the territory... Sometimes "dating" feels like a chity job that doesn't pay crap! I don't want to become "hard" and mean and ruthless and uncaring and insensitive either...I'm just not ready to deal with the dating "stuff" and "games" right now...YUK! I don't think you have to worry about becoming "hard" Claire..When/if the time comes, I bet you will deal with the ups and downs of dating the same way you deal with the ups and down of life... Thanks for the vote of confidence!...To be honest if I went on a date and a man focused solely on my "looks" I'd feel weird and embarrassed and bored...Maybe even "scared!"...None of this would feel normal to me at all! And it's just not "my thing."...But my husband popped into my life one day out of the blue and we were a "great match." So who knows?...I definitely need another weirdo and misfit and rebel and non-conformist like me!.. Not an extremely traditional man...But I'm not looking yet! I'm still "hiding-out!"

GreenEyes48 Joined Thu 08/26/10 Posts: 1319	Fri 03/01/13 06:52 AM Topic: How do you handle a boring date?
You're on a first date with someone and you're starting to feel bored. How do you handle things?...Do you try to switch the conversation around to a more interesting topic? (More interesting for you.)...How do you get a "long-winded" person (non-stop talker) to "wind-down" so you'll have a chance to talk and say a few things too? I get quiet, remain cordial, smile tightly a lot, nod my head up and down A LOT, and insist on going dutch when the bill arrives....The end... I'd probably handle it this way too...But what happens if the guy thinks the date "went well" and keeps calling? And wants to get together again? (Someone who won't "go away!")...I used to run into this "stuff" earlier in life. (Before I met and married my husband.)...I'd say that we didn't have a lot in common. (Or something like this.) But some of the guys acted like "wounded puppy dogs" and tried to make me feel guilty (or wrong) for "rejecting" them. (And not going on more dates with them.)...I "care" too much about other peoples' feelings at times! This is probably why I'm a loner...Don't want to open-up any "can of worms!" Or get in "sticky situations!" Nine times out of ten, they know the date didn't "go well" but they convince themselves that the next one will (this is what I think anyway)...The ones who hang on, won't give up, are the price you pay for being nice I guess ...No way am I am going to be rude to a guy on a first date just because I find him boring and I would hope the same curtesy would be extended to me if the situation were reversed...Most of us can take a hint ...BUT...The ones who hang in, call, send flowers and gifts, stop in unannounced simply refuse to give up, have to be told in no uncertain terms that you are not interested in any kind of relationship with them...It sucks, but it comes with the territory... Sometimes "dating" feels like a chity job that doesn't pay crap! I don't want to become "hard" and mean and ruthless and uncaring and insensitive either...I'm just not ready to deal with the dating "stuff" and "games" right now...YUK!

GreenEyes48 Joined Thu 08/26/10 Posts: 1319	Fri 03/01/13 06:46 AM Topic: How do you handle a boring date?
It's boring when one or both people talk "at" each other versus "with" each other...This is how I feel anyway...Some people are just looking for an "audience." They seem to have a need to "tell all" about themselves and don't always show much interest in sincerely getting to know others...They might stop once in a great, great while and say: "Tell me about you." But it's short-lived and they manage to flip the conversation right back to themselves right away...It reminds me of how my sons acted when they were small and came home from school. At that stage of their development they considered themselves the "center of the universe." And they saw me as a "non-person" who was just on earth to listen to them and support them etc...Little by little I set them "straight!" Had to "burst" their "bubble" and let them know that they weren't the absolute "center of the universe" and the only ones who "counted" or "mattered."

GreenEyes48 Joined Thu 08/26/10 Posts: 1319	Fri 03/01/13 06:21 AM Topic: Which superhero would you be???
Even though I'm a woman I relate (most) to the "Clark Kent" side of "Superman."...I enjoy keeping a low-profile and being "incognito" most of the time.. I tend to shun the limelight and spotlight and enjoy blending into the "woodworks" most of the time...And coming and going "freely" without much "notice" or attention...I don't want to put all of my cards out on the table. (In other words.).. There is "more" to me than "meets the eye." But I get to decide when and if I show my "other sides."

GreenEyes48 Joined Thu 08/26/10 Posts: 1319	Fri 03/01/13 06:01 AM Topic: How much influence do we really have?
Due to our vast cultural, educational, fiscal, social, spiritual… differences… (just to name a few)… it’s sometimes difficult to relate to others not from our similar environments… So……. Subject #1… Do our parents hold sway? To what degree of influence did/do our parents’ practices have over us, and the choices we make about who we bring home to meet them as a possible life partner? And… do we always respect their wishes, or do as we choose in contrast to them? Subject #2… Do couples hold sway? Likewise... To what degree of influence do couples have over the mindset and actions of each other? And… do we always respect the others wishes, or do we choose to live in contrast to them? Athena again, I like you. You think deeply which is both a good thing and bad. IMHO our parents have/had a great percentage of sway in regards to how we are in relationships. At the end of the day, we make our own choices, but I still feel that the influence is there somewhere. I think it boils down to who we are as people. Essentially, my moms raised me and I have several feminine traits which will either rub you right or rub you wrong. My wife's Mom is a "controller" and it is obvious that those traits were magically passed down. Our relationship was that of contrast in nearly every way. A bad way mostly. Other couples definitely have influence as well - for example - if you hang out with a womanizer, you WILL pick up some of those qualities, mannerisms, and mindset - to some degree. That same goes for women. My wife's best friend was without a doubt "in control" of most aspects (99%) of her marriage. I think my wife wanted that. She didn't and will never get that here. I am in the varying-50 camp which means that most things should be decided 50-50 other than those things were perceived expertise is at play. When it is time to get new tires, that is more my call; when it's time for new clothes, all her. Either way discussion should always be a part most of the time. The relationship will eventually crumble otherwise...mine did but oh-well! This is why my husband and I didn't hang-out with friends or socialize all the time...Or even see relatives all the time...We didn't want to be swayed by "group think" or "group" influences...Of course this probably made us seem like weirdos and "oddballs" at times because we were used to being independent and didn't always follow traditions or social-norms...But we wanted to have a "good time" when we decided to socialize. And didn't try to impose our "ways" on others...If friends or relatives tried to impose their "will" or "ways" on us we pulled out our sense of humor instead of becoming enraged or upset.. My husband was a "magician" when it came to turning "attacks" or "put-downs" into "lighthearted fun." (Where he made people "bust-up" and laugh and got them to think outside the "box" a little more.)

GreenEyes48 Joined Thu 08/26/10 Posts: 1319	Fri 03/01/13 04:11 AM Topic: How much influence do we really have?
I think my parents would have been shocked and upset and disappointed and even worried if I ended-up in a traditional marriage...It would have seemed foreign to them since they enjoyed being best friends and "equals." (In their marriage.)...If a did end-up playing a passive role in my marriage I'm sure my parents would have encouraged me to develop more "guts" and "gumption."...But I didn't go the "traditional route" because it just wasn't in my nature...My parents tried to help one of my cousins become more assertive with her husband. She was shy and lacked confidence and had trouble "speaking-up" for herself...In the end my cousin's husband left her (and their 4 kids) for a younger woman...My parents tried to help my cousin get back on her "feet" and come into her "own." (With or without a man in her life.)

GreenEyes48 Joined Thu 08/26/10 Posts: 1319	Fri 03/01/13 03:24 AM Topic: How do you handle a boring date?
You're on a first date with someone and you're starting to feel bored. How do you handle things?...Do you try to switch the conversation around to a more interesting topic? (More interesting for you.)...How do you get a "long-winded" person (non-stop talker) to "wind-down" so you'll have a chance to talk and say a few things too? I get quiet, remain cordial, smile tightly a lot, nod my head up and down A LOT, and insist on going dutch when the bill arrives....The end... I'd probably handle it this way too...But what happens if the guy thinks the date "went well" and keeps calling? And wants to get together again? (Someone who won't "go away!")...I used to run into this "stuff" earlier in life. (Before I met and married my husband.)...I'd say that we didn't have a lot in common. (Or something like this.) But some of the guys acted like "wounded puppy dogs" and tried to make me feel guilty (or wrong) for "rejecting" them. (And not going on more dates with them.)...I "care" too much about other peoples' feelings at times! This is probably why I'm a loner...Don't want to open-up any "can of worms!" Or get in "sticky situations!"

GreenEyes48 Joined Thu 08/26/10 Posts: 1319	Fri 03/01/13 03:08 AM Topic: Growing old and gray together...
One of the perks of working at the nursing home is I get to grow old and Gray with a lot of friends. THE SENILITY PRAYER: God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones that I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference. Now that I'm 'older (but refuse to grow up), here's what I've discovered: ONE - I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it. TWO - I finally got my head together; now my body is falling apart. THREE -Funny, I don't remember being absent minded... FOUR -All reports are in; life is now officially unfair. FIVE -If all is not lost, where is it? SIX -It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser. SEVEN -Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant. EIGHT - I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a few... NINE -It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere. TEN -Only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the bathroom. ELEVEN -If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees. TWELVE -When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone decide to play chess? THIRTEEN -It's not hard to meet expenses... they're everywhere. FOURTEEN -The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth. FIFTEEN -These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter...I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what I'm here after. Good to keep a sense of humor about all of it!

GreenEyes48 Joined Thu 08/26/10 Posts: 1319	Fri 03/01/13 02:52 AM Topic: Ego?
Remember Seinfeld? Kramer Had a pretty healthy ego. George didn't. Everyone on the show seemed a little "lost" when it came to understanding the opposite sex and/or relationships...But you're right...George seemed "clueless."...Kramer was off in his own "galaxy!" He didn't get "ruffled" very often.

GreenEyes48 Joined Thu 08/26/10 Posts: 1319	Thu 02/28/13 05:38 AM Topic: Ego?
I feel confident when I'm doing things I already "know." (In my areas of so-called "expertise.")...But my insecurities can "kick-in" (a little bit) when I have to venture into "unknown areas." Or learn new things "from scratch."...It helps when I cut myself some "slack." (Versus expecting myself to be "perfect" and an expert at everything right off the bat.)..How do you deal with your insecurities when they pop-up?...I try to be realistic when it comes to my ego and my abilities. Some things are easy for me to learn. And other things may take longer...I know I'll never be a total "pro" or expert at everything. I think everyone suffers some degree of insecurity at different times and for different reasons throughout the course of their life, I think it is only normal (human)...If someone told me they never felt insecure about anything I would call BS...The problems caused by insecurity arise when we allow those negative feelings to control our day to day living.....For me, being aware of my feelings and what is driving them is the first step to overcoming insecurity.... Good post...I feel sad and sorry for people who feel compelled to "hide" and "deny" their insecurities all the time...Instead of trying to "cover" things "up" they could use their time and energy to "work" on "fixing" their insecurities. (In practical and constructive ways.) Or at least come to terms with their so-called strengths and weaknesses. Don't you think?...We all have natural born skills and talents (or interests) that make it easier for us to excel in certain areas. Don't you think?...This isn't saying we can't do "well" in other areas with practice. But it might take longer for us to learn and "master" other skills... This is how I view all of it anyway. It sounds like you realize this too.

GreenEyes48 Joined Thu 08/26/10 Posts: 1319	Thu 02/28/13 05:01 AM Topic: Ego?
Very diva-type behaviour/demands/spoilt brat behaviour. I just don't get how some people can even be proud of being a diva. It means you making the whole world revolve around you. I can imagine Mariah Carey or Beyonce doing this. Oh but if they can't have what they want, by that number of minutes, then screw everyone else, because they must have all eyes on themselves. That's nothing to be proud of. I'm not a fan of "diva's" either...How about all the talk about a man's ego? I know when a guy is joking about it, and when he's not. Luckily. . A huge ego is a huge turn-off for me. Self-Confidence I like, but that isn't what a "bragger" behaves like. They are two complete opposites. Sometimes the advice from friends, doesn't add up, so I prefer to listen to my gut. As if suddenly going to some nightclub and picking up a stranger to sleep with would ever make me feel better ;) I'll pass on "pick-ups" in bars too...All the "old-school" stuff seems weird to me. (Where women are suppose to build-up and "stroke" a man's ego.)...And I guess men flatter women about their "looks." (Or their sexiness or ?)...Guess it's all part of the "mating game."...But it can lead to problems if it all "stops" after a couple gets married and settles into "real life.".. Don't you think?

GreenEyes48 Joined Thu 08/26/10 Posts: 1319	Thu 02/28/13 02:24 AM Topic: Ego?
I feel confident when I'm doing things I already "know." (In my areas of so-called "expertise.")...But my insecurities can "kick-in" (a little bit) when I have to venture into "unknown areas." Or learn new things "from scratch."...It helps when I cut myself some "slack." (Versus expecting myself to be "perfect" and an expert at everything right off the bat.)..How do you deal with your insecurities when they pop-up?...I try to be realistic when it comes to my ego and my abilities. Some things are easy for me to learn. And other things may take longer...I know I'll never be a total "pro" or expert at everything.

GreenEyes48 Joined Thu 08/26/10 Posts: 1319	Thu 02/28/13 01:55 AM Topic: How do you handle a boring date?
You're on a first date with someone and you're starting to feel bored. How do you handle things?...Do you try to switch the conversation around to a more interesting topic? (More interesting for you.)...How do you get a "long-winded" person (non-stop talker) to "wind-down" so you'll have a chance to talk and say a few things too?

GreenEyes48 Joined Thu 08/26/10 Posts: 1319	Wed 02/27/13 02:03 PM Topic: Ego?
Everyone has an "EGO"; it is a required thing, in anyone worth their salt. The key is to have an EGO with MANNERS. I like ego's & respect the rights to have one. RUDE EGOS are nothing but trouble. I agree. We all have an identity and sense of self...But some people feel "overly-entitled" to do or say whatever they want without regard for others. And become obnoxious and annoying. YUK!

GreenEyes48 Joined Thu 08/26/10 Posts: 1319	Wed 02/27/13 01:57 PM Topic: Ego?
Very diva-type behaviour/demands/spoilt brat behaviour. I just don't get how some people can even be proud of being a diva. It means you making the whole world revolve around you. I can imagine Mariah Carey or Beyonce doing this. Oh but if they can't have what they want, by that number of minutes, then screw everyone else, because they must have all eyes on themselves. That's nothing to be proud of. I'm not a fan of "diva's" either...How about all the talk about a man's ego?

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