A mother is in the kitchen making supper for her family when her young
daughter walks in. "Mommy, where do babies come from?" After thinking
about it for a moment, the mother explains, "Well, dear, a girl and a
boy fall in love and get married. Then, one night they go into their
room, hug and kiss, and have sex." The child looks puzzled. The Mother
continues, "That means that daddy puts his penis in the mommy's vagina.
That's how you get a baby, dear." The child replies, "But, the other
night when I came into your bedroom, you had daddy's penis in your
mouth. What do you get when you do that, Mommy?"
"Jewellery, dear." LMAO----IM BACK YALL,,AND NOW ITS TIME TO HAVE SOME
FUN,,HOPE YALLS GUTS ARE READY,,(((LOVE TO ALL HERE)))

lets just see how many more people read,,lol,,love to all here

I try not to,,lol,,I like to make all smile,,even the ones that
cant,,lmao

Thanks A Mill,,,I miss yall here

jokes are as jokes does,,make u and me laugh

In France, the young assistant pastors do not live in the main rectory.
That is reserved for the Pastor and his housekeeper. One day the pastor
invited his new young assistant pastor to have dinner at the rectory.
While being served, the young pastor noticed how shapely and lovely the
housekeeper was and down deep in his heart he wondered if there was more
between the pastor and the housekeeper.

After the meal was over, the middle-aged pastor assured the young priest
that everything was purely professional...that she was the housekeeper
and cook and that was that. About a week later the housekeeper came to
the pastor and said, "Father, ever since the new assistant came for
dinner I have not been able to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle.
You don't suppose he took it, do you?" The Pastor said, "Well, I doubt
it but I'll write him a letter." So he sat down and wrote, "Dear Father,
I'm not saying you did take the gravy ladle and I'm not saying you did
not take the gravy ladle. But the fact remains that it has been missing
since you were here for dinner."

The young assistant received the letter and he answered it as follows:
"Dear Father Pastor, I'm not saying that you do sleep with the
housekeeper and I'm not saying that you do not sleep with the
housekeeper. But I do know for sure that if you slept in your own bed
you would find the gravy ladle."

and for all the ones that missed me,,love to much of yall,,and hope to
be here for a while again,,just been damn busy,,,,,,Love To All
Here,,From Your Friend ,,((THOMAS))
JUST KEEPING YALL SMILING

Im Back,,,,and Im Bad,,,hehehehehe

A teacher in New York decided to honor each of her seniors in High
School by
telling them the difference each of them had made. She called each
student
to the front of the class, one at a time.
First, she told each of them how they had made a difference to her, and
the
class. Then she presented each of them with a blue ribbon, imprinted
with
gold letters, which read, "Who I Am Makes a Difference."


Afterwards, the teacher decided to do a class project, to see what kind
of
impact recognition would have on a Community. She gave each of the
students
three more blue ribbons, and instructed them to go out and spread this

acknowledgment ceremony. Then they were to follow up on the results,
see who
honored whom, and report to the class in about a week.

One of the boys in the class went to a junior executive in a nearby
Company,
and honored him for helping him with his career planning. He gave him a
blue
ribbon, and put it on his shirt. Then he gave him two extra ribbons and

said, "We're doing a class project on recognition, and we'd like for
you to
go out, find somebody to honor, give them a blue ribbon, then give them
the
extra blue ribbon so they can acknowledge a third person, to keep this

acknowledgment ceremony going. Then please report back to me and tell
me
what happened."


Later that day, the junior executive went in to see his boss, who had
been
noted, by the way, as being kind of a grouchy fellow. He sat his boss
down,
and he told him that he deeply admired him for being a creative genius.
The
boss seemed very surprised. The junior executive asked him if he would

accept the gift of the blue ribbon, and would he give him permission to
put
it on him. His surprised boss said, "Well, sure." The junior executive
took
the blue ribbon and placed it right on his boss's jacket, above his
heart.
As he gave him the last extra ribbon, he said, "Would you take this
extra
ribbon, and pass it on by honoring somebody else. The young boy who
first
gave me the ribbons is doing a project in school, and we want to keep
this
recognition ceremony going and find out how it affects people."


That night, the boss came home to his 14-year-old son, and sat him
down. He
said, "The most incredible thing happened to me today. I was in my
office,
and one of the junior executives came in and told me he admired me, and
gave
me a blue ribbon for being a creative genius. Imagine! He thinks I am a

creative genius! Then he put a blue ribbon that says, "Who I Am Makes a

Difference", on my jacket above my heart. He gave me an extra ribbon
and
asked me to find somebody else to honor. As I was driving home tonight,
I
started thinking about whom I would honor with this ribbon, and I
thought
about you. I want to honor you. My days are hectic and when I come
home, I
do not pay a lot of attention to
you. Sometimes I scream at you for not getting good enough grades in
school,
and for your bedroom being a mess. Somehow, tonight, I just wanted to
sit
here and, well, just let you know that you do make a difference to me.

Besides your mother, you are the most important person in my life.
You're a
great kid, and I love you!"

The startled boy started to sob and sob, and he could not stop crying
His
whole body shook. He looked up at his father and said through his
tears,
"Dad, earlier tonight I sat in my room and wrote a letter to you and
Mom,
explaining why I had taken my life, and I asked you to forgive me. I
was
going to commit suicide tonight after you were asleep.
I just did not think that you cared at all. The letter is upstairs. I
don't
think I need it after all." His father walked upstairs and found a
heartfelt
letter full of anguish and pain.

The boss went back to work a changed man. He was no longer a grouch,
but
made sure to let all of his employees know that they made a difference.
The
junior executive helped several other young people with career
planning, and
never forgot to let them know that they made a difference in his
life...one
being the boss' son. In addition, the young boy and his classmates
learned a
valuable lesson, "Who you are DOES make a difference".

You are under no obligation to pass this on to anyone.... not to two
people,
or to two hundred. As far as I am concerned, you can forget it and move
on.
On the other hand, if you want, you could send it to all of the people
who
mean something to you, or send it to the one, two, or three people who
mean
the most.

On the other hand, just smile and know that I think that you are
important,
or you would not have received this in the first place. Who you are
does
make a difference, and I wanted you to know that.
Isn't this a wonderful story? I'm passing the blue ribbon to you, for
who
YOU are does make a difference, too.
May GOD BLESS YOU. Have an awesome day, and know that someone has
thought
about you today

hmmmmm

good sshhiitt lmao

BARBIE You To Damn Much For Me,,,I need more woman for the price

lol love to all here

A man walks into a store to buy a Barbie doll for his daughter. "How
much is that Barbie in the window?", he asks the shop assistant.

In a manner she responds, "Which Barbie? We have Barbie Goes to the Gym
for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Ball for $19.95, Barbie Goes Shopping for
$19.95, Barbie Goes to the Beach for $19.95, Barbie Goes Nightclubbing
for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $395.00. "

The guy asks, "Why is Divorced Barbie different from all the others ?

"That's obvious," the assistant states, "Divorced Barbie comes with
Ken's house, Ken's car, Ken's boat, Ken's furniture... "

hahahah

Commandment 1. Marriages are made in heaven. But so again are thunder
and lightning.

Commandment 2. If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention
to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

Commandment 3. Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand!

Commandment 4. Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of
marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the
woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and
the neighbors listen.

Commandment 5. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you
can be sure of one thing: Either the car is new or the wife is.

Commandment 6. Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; The
trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

Commandment 7. Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking
about something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you
finish.

Commandment 8. Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding,
economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.

Commandment 9. Marriage and love are purely matter of chemistry. That is
why wife treats husband like toxic waste.

Commandment 10. A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he
is finished..

whos a baby now,,,lol

lol

I tried,,heheheh

A man walked into a therapist's office looking very depressed. "Doc,
you've got to help me. I can't go on like this."

"What's the problem?" the doctor inquired.

"Well, I'm 35 years old and I still have no luck with the ladies. No
matter how hard I try, I just seem to scare them away."

"My friend, this is not a serious problem. You just need to work on your
self-esteem. Each morning, I want you to get up and run to the bathroom
mirror. Tell yourself that you are a good person, a fun person, and an
attractive person. But say it with real conviction. Within a week you'll
have women buzzing all around you."

The man seemed content with this advice and walked out of the office a
bit excited. Three weeks later he returned with the same downtrodden
expression on his face. "Did my advice not work?" asked the doctor.

"It worked alright. For the past several weeks I've enjoyed some of the
best moments in my life with the most fabulous looking women."

"So, what's your problem?"

"I don't have a problem," the man replied. "My wife does."

An old married couple is in bed one night about to fall asleep when
suddenly the husband farts. His wife is disgusted and screams at him,
"Don't fart!!!"

Husband says, "Shut your mouth." A few minutes later he farts again, she
screams "Please stop farting!!!" Again he says, "Just shut your mouth."
She is really pissed off and finally she asks him, "How come when I ask
you to stop farting, you never listen, you just tell me to shut my
mouth???"

"Well" says the husband, "I didn't want to have to tell you, but your
breath is what really stinks."