Glad Yall Enjoying The Laughs....Love To All,,,,

Two young boys walk into a pharmacy one day, pick out a box of Tampax
and proceed to the checkout counter. The man at the counter asks the
older boy, "Son, how old are you?"

"Eight," the boy replies.

The man continues, "Do you know what these are used for?"

"Not exactly," the boy says. "But they aren't for me. They're for him.
He's my brother. He's four. We saw on TV that if you use these you would
be able to swim and ride a bike. Right now he can't do either one."

A guy out on the golf course took a high-speed ball right to the nuts.
Writhing in agony, he fell to the ground. When he finally got himself to
the doctor, he asked,“How bad is it, Doc? I’m going on my honeymoon next
week and my fiancé is still a virgin.”
The doctor said, “I’ll have to put your penis in a splint to let it heal
and keep it straight. It should be okay in about two weeks.” Then the
doctor took four tongue depressors and formed a neat little 4-sided
bandage, and wired it all together; an impressive work of art.
The guy mentioned none of this to his girl and the two got married. On
their honeymoon night, she opened her blouse to reveal a gorgeous set of
breasts and told him, “You’ll be the first; no one has ever touched
these before.”
The new husband dropped his pants and said, “Look at this — it’s still
in the crate!”

Do you know im the one that started the Joke Room,,I think as we all
here as adults,,can understand the best of a good laugh,,why even have
the rules up ,,are we kids,,I think not,,are we in school,,well maybe
some to learn more in there life,,but in all rules ,,what the hell,,we
live already so far up each others ass now,,why need rules to understand
everyone **** stinks,,we know this,,its the point to come here and see
and read a good joke or two,,not something about some rules,,uncalled
for,,and I think I can speak for alot of good people here on that
behalf,,,Like I say all the time Love To All Here,,Keep it REAL,,Not
With Rules,,our Goverment gives us enough to live by......

lets get this one again ,,,

Brought it,,lol,,ladys,,to have self note ,,im working on some men jokes
to give us some pride to pick fun at with your girls ,,so get ready to
share some **** with your ladys on some damn good jokes about
men,,,,lol,,and Guys,,we know the truth,,,,,,,,lov 4 all here ,,,Thomas

same here I wont fly,,love to smoke ,,so im out of the air,,lol

geeks need drinks to,,,,,

The truth ,,is to just laugh and say you did it to,,lol

I feel you man,,trust me ,,I did some **** in my past Im glad i cant
remeber,,lol,,hell and some of the **** I wish i did ,,for the fact of
just having a laugh......

Just letting yall know I been writting jokes for a long time,,and do it
for fun,,I got a book full,,and cant wait to put it from paper to
here,,I like the thought that yall can enjoy them,,love to all
here,,,Thomas

A husband is at home watching a football game when his wife interrupts,
"Honey, could you fix the light in the hallway? It's been flickering for
weeks now."

He looks at her and says angrily, "Fix
the light? Now? Does it look like I have a G.E. logo printed on my
forehead? I don't think so."

"Well then, could you fix the fridge door? It won't close right."

To which he replied, "Fix the fridge door? Does it look like I have
Westinghouse written on my forehead?
I don't think so."

"Fine," she says, "Then could you at least fix the steps to the front
door? They're about to break."

"I'm not a damn carpenter and I don't want to fix the steps," he says.
"Does it look like I have Ace Hardware written on my forehead? I don't
think so. I've had enough of you. I'm going to the bar!"

So he goes to the bar and drinks for a couple hours. He starts to feel
guilty about how he treated his wife, and decides to go home and help
out. As he walks into the house, he notices the steps are already fixed.
As he enters the house, he sees the hall light is
working. As he goes to get a beer, he notices the fridge door is fixed.
"Honey, how'd this all get fixed?"

She said, "Well, when you left, I sat outside and cried. Just then a
nice young man asked me what was wrong, and I told him. He offered to do
all the repairs, and all I had to do was
either screw him or bake him a cake."

He said, "So, what kind of cake did you bake him?"

She replied, "Hellooooo... Do you see Betty Crocker written on my
forehead?"

The big game hunter walked in the bar and bragged to everyone about his
hunting skills. The man was undoubtedly a good shot and no one could
dispute that. But then he said that they could blindfold him and he
would recognize any animal's skin from its feel, and if he could locate
the bullet hole he would even tell them what calibre the bullet was that
killed the animal. The hunter said that he was willing to prove it if
they would put up the drinks, and so the bet was on. They blindfolded
him carefully and took him to his first animal skin. After feeling it
for a few moments, he announced "Bear." Then he felt the bullet hole and
declared, "Shot with a .308 rifle." He was right.
They brought him another skin, one that someone had in their car trunk.
He took a bit longer this time and then said, "Elk, Shot with a 7mm Mag
rifle. He was right again.
Through the night, he proved his skills again and again, every time
against a round of drinks. Finally he staggered home, drunk out of his
mind,and went to sleep. The next morning he got up and saw in the mirror
that he had one hell of a shiner. He said to his wife, "I know I was
drunk last night, but not drunk enough to get in a fight and not
remember it. Where did I get this blackeye?"
His wife angrily replied, "I gave it to you. You got into bed and put
your hand down my panties. Then you fiddled around a bit and loudly
announced, "Skunk, killed with an axe."

An old man sitting at the mall watched a teenager intently. The teenager
had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue.
The old man kept staring at him.
When the teenager was tired of being stared at, he sarcastically asked,
"What's the matter, old man? Never did anything wild in your life?"
The old man did not bat an eye when he responded, "Got drunk once and
had sex with a pea****. I was just wondering if you were my son."

Hey everyone out there in joke world,,Ill be posting the dirty ones
later ,,and a few blonde jokes as well being that I do love
Blondes,,lol,,lol,,but hey in All im going to be making yall laugh your
Gutz over to me,,lol,,love to all ,,Thomas,,Mr.Audio

A man had just settled into his seat next to the window on the plane
when another man sat down in the aisle seat and put his black Labrador
retriever between them.
The first man asked why the dog was allowed on the plane. The second man
explained that he was a DEA agent and that the dog was a sniffing dog.
"His name is Sniffer, and he's the best there is," he said. "I'll show
you once we get airborne when I put him to work."
The plane took off, and once it had leveled out, the agent said, "Watch
this." He told Sniffer to "search."
Sniffer jumped down, walked along the aisle, and finally sat very
purposefully next to a woman for several seconds. Sniffer then returned
to his seat and put one paw on the agent's arm. The agent said, "Good
boy." He turned to the other man and said, "That woman is in possession
of marijuana, so I'm making a note of her seat number. The authorities
will apprehend her when we land."
"Say, that's pretty neat," replied the first man. Once again, the agent
sent Sniffer to search the aisles. The Lab sniffed about, sat down
beside a man for a few seconds, returned to his seat and placed two paws
on the agent's arm. The agent said, "That man is carrying cocaine, so
again, I'm making a note of his seat number for the police."
The agent then told Sniffer to search again. Sniffer walked up and down
the aisles for a little while, sat down for a moment, and then came
racing back to the agent. He jumped into the middle seat and proceeded
to poop all over the place. The first man was really disgusted by this
behavior and couldn't figure out why a well-trained dog would act like
that, so he asked the agent, "What's going on?"
The agent nervously replied, "He just found a bomb

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she had selected the
following items: A half-gallon of 2% milk, A half carton of eggs, A
quart of orange juice, A small head of romaine lettuce, A 2-pound can of
coffee, And a 1-pound package of bacon. As she was unloading her items
on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched
as she placed the items in front of the cashier.
While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated,
"You must be single."
The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued
by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at
her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her
selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status.
Curiosity getting the better of her, she said "Well, you know what,
you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"
The drunk replied, "'Cause you're ugly."

Thanks Boo,,I hope everyone here,,is up to hearing my big mouth
again,,lol,,but in all I just love making you all smile and feel good
after a joke or two,,but Im to say sorry for not being around,,things
happen,,and im getting things done again,,I hope to hear back from the
ones that know me,,and even the ones that dont,,Im not ((NEW to this for
the new ones here,,,Im the shoulder for everyone,,,,,,Love to
all,,,,,,aka MR.AUDIO

Hey Im Just Saying Hello To All..

DOS Beer:
Requires you to use your own can opener, and requires you to read the
directions carefully before opening the can. Originally only came in an
8-oz can, but now comes in a 16-oz can. However, the can is divided into
8 compartments of 2-oz each, which have to be accessed separately. Soon
to be discontinued, although a lot of people are going to keep drinking
it after it's no longer available.

MAC Beer:
At first, came only in a 16-oz can, but now comes in a 32-oz can.
Considered by many to be a "light" beer. All the cans look identical.
When you take one from the fridge, it opens itself. The ingredients list
is not on the can. If you call to ask about the ingredients, you are
told that "you don't need to know." A notice on the side reminds you to
drag your empties to the wastebin.

Windows 95 Beer:
The world's most popular beer. Comes in a 16-oz can that looks a lot
like Mac Beer's. Requires that you already own a DOS Beer. Claims that
it allows you to drink several DOS Beers simultaneously, but in reality
you can only drink a few of them, very slowly, especially slowly if you
are drinking the Windows Beer at the same time. Sometimes, for no
apparent reason, a can of Windows Beer will explode when you open it.

Windows 98 Beer:
See Windows 95 beer above. About the same but Windows 98 beer creates
less gas and makes you crash less.

Windows 2000 Beer:
A new beer on the market. A lot of people have taste tested it and claim
it's wonderful. The can looks like Mac and OS/2 Beer's can, but tastes
like Windows 95/98 Beer. It comes in 32-oz cans, but when you look
inside, the cans only have 16-oz of beer in them. Most people will
probably keep drinking Windows 95/98 Beer until their friends try
Windows 2000 Beer and say they like it. The ingredients list, when you
look at the small print, has some of the same ingredients that come in
DOS and Mac Beer, even though the manufacturer claims that this is an
entirely new brew.

Windows NT Beer:
Comes in 32-oz cans, but you can only buy it by the truckload. This
causes most people to go out and buy bigger refrigerators. The can looks
just like Windows 95 Beer's, but the company promises to change the can
to look like Windows 2000 Beer's, after Windows 2000 Beer starts
shipping well. Touted as an "industrial strength" beer, and suggested
only for use in bars.

Unix Beer:
Comes in several different brands, in cans ranging from 8-oz to 64-oz.
Drinkers on Unix Beer display fierce brand loyalty, even though they
claim that all the different brands taste almost identical. Sometimes
the pop-tops break off when you try to open them, so you have to have
your own can opener around for these occasions, in which case you either
need a complete set of instructions, or a friend who has been drinking
Unix Beer for several years...

AmigaOS Beer:
The company has gone out of business, but their recipe has been picked
up by some weird German company, so now this beer will be an import.
This beer never really sold very well, because the original manufacturer
didn't understand marketing. Like Unix Beer, AmigaDOS Beer fans are an
extremely loyal and loud group. it originally came in a 16-oz can, but
now comes in 32-oz cans too. When this can was originally introduced, it
appeared flashy and colourful, but the design hasn't changed much over
the years, so it appears dated now. Critics of this beer claim that it
is only meant for watching TV anyway.