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Topic:
THREAD KILLLER!!! - part 2
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Why do half of the threads in My Topics have me as the last to post? I swear I showered this morning!
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Topic:
Your Dream Job
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Supreme Ruler of the World, or maybe a Dive Charter Owner Operator, somewhere where its warm and sunny.
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Topic:
attitude
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I have no problem with who I am. Some people do, but that's not my problem. I'm not out to impress anyone.
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Topic:
The Best Friend!
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We have talked and she is aware of how I feel and I completely understand that attraction is necessarily something that you can control. I asked this question because for some reason, obviously something to do with me, I find myself in this situation more often than not. I have asked my friends what it is about me and have never really gotten a straight answer. These women have been and most still are some of my dearest friends. I would really like to know what I am doing, or what it is about me that I always end up just a friend. I have always thought that the best partner would start with my best friend. I've had the same best friend since my freshman year in high school, so I never go looking for my best friend when it comes to dating. Maybe you should actually look for someone to date from the beginning, rather than spending a lot of time becoming friends and then becoming interested? I kind of thought that is what I was doing. When I asked them out for drinks and or dinner. As time passed and we got to know more about each other and started spending more time together we naturally became what I would call friends. I understand that you can be friends with someone and there isn't always that connection. This is why I have asked some of them, as my friend, is it something about me or what I am doing. I can't seem to get a straight answer. All I ever hear is " you are such a nice guy, you deserve someone who cares about you" That doesn't help much! 
Are you making it clear from the very beginning that you're interested in dating? From what you said, it doesn't sound like it. Do men often take you out to dinner multiple times if they want you to be just their friend? Perhaps I am waiting to long for the physical part to happen "naturally" but I was raised to treat women with respect. Yes I have been taken advantage of on occasion, but most of these women are still my friends. We of course drift apart when one of us get's seriously involved (usually her). I just seem to keep repeating the same mistakes, I just don't know what it is. |
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Topic:
Ignorance is Bliss
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No, I've enjoyed all the knowledge so far. But I have a terrible memory and engage in what could be considered abhorrent sexual behavior. This makes me wonder what is considered abhorrent sexual behavior. Not positive but I think it was Freud that said " the only abhorrent sexual behavior is none at all" 
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do you have secrets? a lot? a few? why don't you wish to share them with anyone? is no one worthy of knowing? how would you feel if somehow everything you kept secret was out in the open? would you do anything? would your life change? do you want me to keep interrogating you? Yes no quite a few Some have been shared with people I trust The ones that are worthy of knowing, know what I can trust them with no longer trust the person that let it out might have to move depends on where I moved to only up until the point that the bright light and whip comes out 
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Topic:
The Best Friend!
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We have talked and she is aware of how I feel and I completely understand that attraction is necessarily something that you can control. I asked this question because for some reason, obviously something to do with me, I find myself in this situation more often than not. I have asked my friends what it is about me and have never really gotten a straight answer. These women have been and most still are some of my dearest friends. I would really like to know what I am doing, or what it is about me that I always end up just a friend. I have always thought that the best partner would start with my best friend. I've had the same best friend since my freshman year in high school, so I never go looking for my best friend when it comes to dating. Maybe you should actually look for someone to date from the beginning, rather than spending a lot of time becoming friends and then becoming interested? I kind of thought that is what I was doing. When I asked them out for drinks and or dinner. As time passed and we got to know more about each other and started spending more time together we naturally became what I would call friends. I understand that you can be friends with someone and there isn't always that connection. This is why I have asked some of them, as my friend, is it something about me or what I am doing. I can't seem to get a straight answer. All I ever hear is " you are such a nice guy, you deserve someone who cares about you" That doesn't help much!
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Topic:
this could work
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So is there a sign up sheet or a waiting line for Ese's match making service or is it just luck of the draw!
I guess I should update my pic too, since I grew the beard.
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Topic:
Confused
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Happens here, happens in the real world. I've seen it happen after a few messages and it actually happened to me once with a so called "friend" after years.
The main cause IMHO is that "Common Courtesy" is just not that common anymore. |
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Topic:
Friendship
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Amazing how many people really don't know the difference between a Friend and an Acquaintance!
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Topic:
The Best Friend!
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What can you do when you fall in love with your best friend, who you talk to every day and see all the time, when you know that she is not physically attracted to you. She still wants to spend time with you and talk about what is going on in her life, including other guys. It is becoming increasingly harder to control how I feel and I don't want it to end our friendship.  <---yes,,I am LAUGHING WITH ME HERE,,NOT YOU,,I have lived most of my life in THAT state..
Always looked at,,and seen by THEM,,as a really good sweet nice intelligent man to ask questions to about EVERYTHING in life,, But NEVER finding in me THEIR ONE TO LOVE,,as THEY always liked the ones who hurt them, left them, abused them or used them.. 
IF YOUR LIKE ME,,your let her use your friendship as her one way fare,,,and not ever see her being or acting any kind of unfair to you,,,and YOU,,really down deep,,loving her very much,,will stand by her,,PROUDLY AND FONDLY,,as long as YOU have that picture of HER in your heart and MIND as ONE DAY,,,MAYBE??? I KNOW,,I have lived THIS,,,and I learned,,EVEN IF SHE SAID SHE SAW YOU AS HER GUY ,,NOW,,,SHE should have already come to FEEL THAT AND KNOW THAT AND TELL YOU THAT AS IT WAS FELT BY HER,,,SO Because it wasn't,,it will never BE FELT BY HER.. I've had one come back and tell me, she was through with the one she was in love with,,and SILLY ME,,I said cool and gave that a shot,,THEN,,to find out, after three months,,she WAS BACK IN HIS ARMS,, SO,,,NO,,WE CAN ALL HOPE AND DREAM MAN.. But when ANY form OF LOVE SNEAKS UP AND IN,,,IT WILL RULE BOTH,,and not just stay on the tips of one's tongue to never say. I would be friends always,,but,,I would not be AS MUCH A FRIEND as to let her feel your every moment with the pains she suffering through with her guy,,or her joys she's experiencing as BOTH,,get under your skin a bit,,,don't they,,as YOU wish HE was YOU! THATS HOW I FELT..Good luck with this all,,as it truly is,,just YOUR heart,,which you put this through... 
You have obviously been there done that! How the hell do you break the damn cycle. I actually went to one of their weddings and when I ran into her years later and after she told me about all the problems was having with her husband, she asked me why I never stopped by to hang out or come over to have dinner? I couldn't answer all I could do was think to myself, DUH
and I MEAN KNOW,,she DOES NOT FEEL "THAT" kind of love for YOU,, When it sinks down,,and comes back up,,as,,wow,,she will always only want me here,,and NEVER WHERE HE'S AT,,INSIDE HER HEART. And with SOME WOMEN,,its a kind of,,secret desire to ACT,,with and about YOU,,BUT NEVER REALLY LIVE OUT,,as it KEEPS her guy THINKING and a little jealous,and it make her own EGO rise knowing she has THAT MUCH OF YOU,,that you give her.. I guess its like a loving relationship,,in reverse,, You KNOW WHEN YOU GET THAT FEELING INSIDE..THAT SAYS,,,DAMN,,I LOVE HER,,and THEN YOU HEAR HER TELL YOU THAT,,AND YOU KNOW! ITS LOVE. Well,,that same,,when YOU know deep down,,and outward,,SHE NEVER WILL,,and then POOF,,her spell is broken and NEVER to be that weight to put it back on ya..
Believe me been in all of the above situations. Been used, been played, been told the truth and been lied to. At present it is all truthful and good, still stings a little when I hear about or see the other guy, but we have known each other for 20 years and I understand. I just want to know what it is about me or what I am doing so I can stop falling into the same trap. I am not starting out looking for just a friend. I can't even get any of give me a straight answer so I can see the trap before I get locked into that "Friend Zone". Is it some kind of female conspiracy?
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Topic:
Friendship
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Friendship,
Friendship is a journey best embarked upon with no expectations and no reservations. Let the journey take you where it will. It may lead to separate paths, It may lead to lifelong friends, It may lead to true love. Wherever it may lead, enjoy the journey and cherish the memories! |
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Topic:
The Best Friend!
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What can you do when you fall in love with your best friend, who you talk to every day and see all the time, when you know that she is not physically attracted to you. She still wants to spend time with you and talk about what is going on in her life, including other guys. It is becoming increasingly harder to control how I feel and I don't want it to end our friendship. <---yes,,I am LAUGHING WITH ME HERE,,NOT YOU,,I have lived most of my life in THAT state..
Always looked at,,and seen by THEM,,as a really good sweet nice intelligent man to ask questions to about EVERYTHING in life,, But NEVER finding in me THEIR ONE TO LOVE,,as THEY always liked the ones who hurt them, left them, abused them or used them..
IF YOUR LIKE ME,,your let her use your friendship as her one way fare,,,and not ever see her being or acting any kind of unfair to you,,,and YOU,,really down deep,,loving her very much,,will stand by her,,PROUDLY AND FONDLY,,as long as YOU have that picture of HER in your heart and MIND as ONE DAY,,,MAYBE??? I KNOW,,I have lived THIS,,,and I learned,,EVEN IF SHE SAID SHE SAW YOU AS HER GUY ,,NOW,,,SHE should have already come to FEEL THAT AND KNOW THAT AND TELL YOU THAT AS IT WAS FELT BY HER,,,SO Because it wasn't,,it will never BE FELT BY HER.. I've had one come back and tell me, she was through with the one she was in love with,,and SILLY ME,,I said cool and gave that a shot,,THEN,,to find out, after three months,,she WAS BACK IN HIS ARMS,, SO,,,NO,,WE CAN ALL HOPE AND DREAM MAN.. But when ANY form OF LOVE SNEAKS UP AND IN,,,IT WILL RULE BOTH,,and not just stay on the tips of one's tongue to never say. I would be friends always,,but,,I would not be AS MUCH A FRIEND as to let her feel your every moment with the pains she suffering through with her guy,,or her joys she's experiencing as BOTH,,get under your skin a bit,,,don't they,,as YOU wish HE was YOU! THATS HOW I FELT..Good luck with this all,,as it truly is,,just YOUR heart,,which you put this through...
You have obviously been there done that! How the hell do you break the damn cycle. I actually went to one of their weddings and when I ran into her years later and after she told me about all the problems was having with her husband, she asked me why I never stopped by to hang out or come over to have dinner? I couldn't answer all I could do was think to myself, DUH
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Topic:
The Best Friend!
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We have talked and she is aware of how I feel and I completely understand that attraction is necessarily something that you can control. I asked this question because for some reason, obviously something to do with me, I find myself in this situation more often than not.
I have asked my friends what it is about me and have never really gotten a straight answer. These women have been and most still are some of my dearest friends. I would really like to know what I am doing, or what it is about me that I always end up just a friend. I have always thought that the best partner would start with my best friend. |
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The problem, from what I have seen, is the guy with the best sales pitch usually has the worst product! The guy that has the best product and the most to offer doesn't feel the need to go after the mass market. He is willing to limit his marketing to to the highest quality customers, knowing he has a better chance of a long term purchase!  
All this is preference. But how do you get to know someone if all you're seeing is a bunch of bad eggs? Men are just WAY too attracted to someone's looks to differentiate. Unless you mean personality then I could see your point. In my experience, woman CAN be just as attracted to looks if not more so than men. Of course there has to be some attraction or you would probably never even get past Hello. Excuse me while I put on my riot gear for the ensuing beating I am about to receive. First a few definitions for clarity: Friend: someone that you speak to occasionally, might invite to a party, might help you out if they weren't to busy. Close Friend: someone that you speak to regularly (weekly), is invited to every party you have and that you hang out with often, someone that would make an effort to help you out. Best Friend: The person you talk to daily, you want to spend as much time with as you can and would be there in a second to do anything for you. Here comes the trouble. LOL Men are just more straight forward about the role that attraction plays in there interactions with women. If a man is not attracted to a woman's personality or looks the chances are they will usually not become more than friends. If a man is not attracted physically but is attracted to her personality they may become close friends. If a man is attracted to her both physically and her personality they may become best friends and he will probably want to see if it can become more. The woman will usually know this very early in the relationship. Checks riot gear and puts on helmet! From my experience only! If a woman is attracted to a man's personality, but not his looks they can still put the man into any of the above categories. If a woman is attracted to a man's personality and his looks he will probably become a close friend. If a woman is attracted to him both physically and his personality they may become best friends and she may want to see if it can become more. The man will never have a clue where he stands. And if there is any justice in this world and she wants it to become more, I hope the guy is GAY!
He now runs and hides! 
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The problem, from what I have seen, is the guy with the best sales pitch usually has the worst product! The guy that has the best product and the most to offer doesn't feel the need to go after the mass market. He is willing to limit his marketing to to the highest quality customers, knowing he has a better chance of a long term purchase!
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Topic:
The Best Friend!
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What can you do when you fall in love with your best friend, who you talk to every day and see all the time, when you know that she is not physically attracted to you. She still wants to spend time with you and talk about what is going on in her life, including other guys.
It is becoming increasingly harder to control how I feel and I don't want it to end our friendship. |
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Topic:
Should men be "manly"?
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Should women make up there mind?
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The only Zone I have been in is the "Friend Zone". I think I have taken up permanent residence there!
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Topic:
The Human Touch aka FWB
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I have been friends with quite a few women in my time. I have been "Best friends" (their words) with some. In almost every case when the subject of a physical relationship has come up, they say either "I am not interested in you that way" or " I am afraid it will ruin our friendship".
When I met these women I was attracted to them and wanted to get to know them better. I talked to them when I saw them out, asked them out for a drink, eventually asked them out to dinner, etc. As we became closer and talked on a more frequent basis they became very special to me and I was hoping it would turn into more than a friendship. However they at some point had determined that I would never be more than a friend. I have heard it said that a woman knows within a very short time if she will sleep with a man. A woman also knows in a very short time if a man will sleep with her. Perhaps I am just old fashioned, or an idiot when it comes to woman, but I always thought that getting to know someone and developing a physical relationship usually involved becoming friends with them first. What do you do when you find out that the physical relationship is never going to happen. How long can you remain close friends with someone you care about and have grown to have feelings for while you watch them start having a physical relationship with someone new. And a question for the ladies, If this friend is such a nice guy but you aren't attracted to him that way, but you know he is attracted to you, do you really think he want's to hear about it? Does he really want to know about how the guy was such a jerk if it doesn't work out? Sorry if I went off on a little tangent there. |
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