RAYMOND is back.All the writes I have posted in the past were of my life,my trials and tribulations,my love and forgiveness in the past,but now my latest write with vengence in my heart,retribution for those who have wronged me.

" TO BE OR NOT TO BE "

" TO BE OR NOT TO BE "?

That is the question I ask myself, as did Hamlet.
Whether its more noble in the mind to suffer and accept the tortures and wrongs done to I, by the most loved by I, and knowing of their false love and affection, and all that in my life did I give and do for them, for their most well being and gratification.
In my mind, I did see the trust I gave to my most loved one being abused, but had the love for her still glowing in my heart to forgive, and again forgive, but then, did allow my love each time to slowly dwindle away.

" DOES SHE STAY OR DOES SHE GO "?

This question I now asked myself.
If she stays with false love to I, and dwindling love to her, is not the answer to this question, her pledge to I, to stay till I die was broken with her infidelity, she must go. I will suffer, when she goes, my children will go too, my now most precious.
Their minds will be poisoned against I, to satisfy her new found affairs, their absence from I and the poison, will make their love for I, grow weaker, and my absence from them will make my love for them, dwindle away, this I know from
my first 5 children, with my first love, then my wife of 24years.

SO THEY GO, the children all love her way,and what my minds eye did see,is true.
I suffer the tortures, from those, so ungrateful,of all my gifts of love and prosperity. They were made poor, when I the giver to them, was now unkind, I am now the ex-partner and father of poisoned minds.
Yet now, to have loved and lost love, and nothing else to lose that I had cherished the most, I need not suffer anymore, but accept the tortures and wrongs done to I, by the ones once most loved by I.
I fight against that ocean of troubles, and endow them, and their, now most loved ones, with their own, sea of troubles and miseries.
They all live in glass houses and should not have thrown stones at I, the most
honest, trustworthy,and most of all, more law abiding of them all.
Unlike them I have never cheated with others, never cheated or abused the laws of the social system or defrauded it.
My mind knows too much of them all,and now my conscience is clear to fight back
and let the sea of troubles, now overwhelm their new, and what will be their short lived new happiness without me, it will be turned into the sufferings and tortures they bestowed on me, now to be a reality for them.
Let my revenge, be in the shape of the "Fist of the Law", with vengence, be swift and sweet , to strike them down to give them, their justly deserves.
All these thoughts in my mind, and their sedition of the social laws which any decent person lives by, but not by them, now will be their downfall to their ruination and misery. Whilst I in my joy of their sufferings, I will regain my happiness, but hoping that she the most loved by I, will reform her future ways in life, and not to be a breeder of sinners like herself, whose mother had bred into her, the bad seed, this I hope because I cannot impress my code of decency to my children anymore, the eldest told I, to them, I no longer exist.
I am now revengeful, but proud of the way I have lived my life, even though I have been an arrant fool to the two most loved women in my life.
Even so before I die, I still give myself hope to find that true soul-mate.
Soon, I hope that my suffering and tortures will be blown away by the winds of time, and replaced by sun scorched passion, much love and happiness.
This unloved situation I was thrust into two times in my life, between 1964 and now today 26th February 2009.

The start of their troubles and unhappiness has today began for her new lover she left me for, when she cheated and abused my trust, under my nose, with the father of my neices children, whose children are my childrens equivalent nephews, who stayed and played at my home.

My writings will continue this saga with all the joy in my life, and the unhappiness in theirs.

FOOTNOTE.
If you the reader have a negative opinion of me and see me as a nasty, unforgiving person and not an honest, loving, forgiving person, then you are "WRONG"
I can only forgive so much of the unfaithfulness, ungratefulness, and suffering and pain of insincere love, that has been afforded to me, by the two most loved mothers of my 8 children in, 44years of my wasted family life so far, as I see it.
Even though I realize I must take some of my actions in the past years as part of the reasons for both partners to leave, but not for them to be unfaithful.
As I am a firm believer in "What goes around comes around", their come-uppance
will soon be upon them all.

If you the reader still have the same opinion of me, do you really think I would care, "NO, I WOULD NOT CARE", this is MY life, I live it with respect for decent people only, but if your opinion of me is still that I am a nasty, unforgiving person,
then you in my opinion have the same morals in life as those I have written about, and if not already, you one day too will also get, your just deserves.

RAYMOND.26/02/2009