Thank you for answering my ? I will try that

HEy does anyone know any good baby shower ideas i get to throw one nextmonth for my good friend and i ave never thrown a party before any and all advice is appricated

I Know i cannot spell

my computer is having a mind of its own it keeps turning on and off by itself. Icheck the power supply i got a new surge protecter i did norton Antivirus scan and i dont know what else to do

IM fine just haveing computer issues
HOw Are you

I have both IE7 and MSN Intrenet if i remove IE7 will i still be ok or will it hurt if i remove IE7

thank you everyone

My PC has been turning on and off by itself does anyone know what i need to do to fix this

Don't pump gas on November 21, 2007
In April 1997, there was a "gas out" conducted nationwide in protest of gas prices. Gasoline prices dropped 30 cents a gallon overnight.

On November 21st 2007, all internet users are to not go to a gas station in protest of high gas prices. Gas is now over $3.20 a gallon in most places. 3.35 were i live

There are 73,000,000+ American members currently on the internet network, and the average car takes about 45 to 65 dollars to fill up.

If all users did not go to the pump on the 21st, it would take $2,292,000,000.00 (that's almost 3 BILLION) out of the oil companies pockets for just one day, so please do not go to the gas station on November 21st and let's try to put a dent in the Middle Eastern oil industry for at least one day.

If you agree (which I can't see why you wouldn't) repost this to ALL~ "Don't pump gas on November 21st"

One day little johnny heard a noise and peeked into his parents room
> to check it out.
> He opened the door to see his mom bent over the dresser and dad going
> at it behind her. Johnny's dad saw him and gave him a little wink as
> Johnny closed the door.
> After business was finished Dad went to check on little Johnny.He
> opened his bedroom door to find Grandma bent over the dresser and
> little Johnny going at it behind her.
> Dad yelled, 'Johnny, what the hell are you doing?!'
> Little Johnny replied, 'It's not so funny when its your mom is it?!'

From the state where drunk driving is considered a sport, comes this true story. Recently a routine police patrol parked outside of a bar in washington. After last call the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so apparently intoxicated that he could barely walk.

The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity in which he tried his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car and fall into it. He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off.

Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off -- it was a fine, dry summer night -- flicked the blinkers on and off a couple of times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other patrons' vehicles left. At last, when his was the only car left in the parking lot, he pulled out and drove slowly down the road.

The police officer, having waited patiently all this time, now started up his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and administered a breathalyzer test. To his amazement, the breathalyzer indicated no evidence that the man had consumed any alcohol at all !!!

Dumbfounded, the officer said, I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station. This breathalyzer equipment must be broken."

"I doubt it," said the truly proud WASHINTONIAN, "Tonight I'm the designated decoy."

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are going dead?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?



Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with t heir vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dea d bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

A blond walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some rectum deodorant.
The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman that, they don't sell rectum deodorant and never have.

Unfazed, the blond assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis and would like some more.

"I'm sorry," says the pharmacist, "We don't have any."

"But, I always buy it here," says the blond.

"Do you have the container that it came in?" asks the pharmacist.

"Yes," said the blond, "I'll go home and get it."

She returns with the container and hands it to the
pharmacist who looks at it and says to her,

"This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant."

Annoyed, the blond snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container .....


(Are you ready for this one!?)








"TO APPLY, PUSH UP BOTTOM.

im not sure what to say this made me so speechless that i wanted to cry i can relate to your poem it is beautiful yet so true and scary THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SHARING

i loved it i could not stop laughing

birth order of your childern..lol..its a cute one
Body: THE BIRTH ORDER OF CHILDREN
> >
> > Your Clothes:
> >
> > 1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN
> > confirms your pregnancy.
> > 2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
> > 3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.
> > _____________________________________________________
> > Preparing for the Birth:
> >
> > 1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
> >
> > 2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time,
> > breathing
> > didn't do a thing.
> >
> > 3rd baby: You ask for an epidermal in your eighth month.
> > ______________________________________________________
> > The Layette:
> >
> > 1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them,
> > and fold
> > them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
> >
> > 2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and
> > discard
> > only the ones with the darkest stains.
> >
> > 3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?
> > ______________________________________________________
> > Worries:
> >
> > 1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you
> > pick up
> > the baby.
> >
> > 2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your
> > firstborn.
> >
> > 3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical
> > swing.
> > ______________________________________________________
> > Pacifier:
> >
> > 1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until
> > you
> > can go home and wash and boil it.
> >
> > 2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with
> > some juice from the baby's bottle.
> >
> > 3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.
> > ______________________________________________________
> > Diapering:
> >
> > 1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they
> > need it
> > or not.
> >
> > 2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.
> > 3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to
> > complain
> > about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.
> > ______________________________________________________
> > Activities:
> >
> > 1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and
> > Baby
> > Story Hour.
> >
> > 2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
> >
> > 3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.
> > ______________________________________________________
> > Going Out:
> >
> > 1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you
> > call home
> > five times.
> >
> > 2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a
> > number where you can be reached.
> >
> > 3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she
> > sees
> > blood.
> > ______________________________________________________
> > At Home:
> >
> > 1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
> >
> > 2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your
> > older child
> > isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
> > 3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the
> > children.
> > ______________________________________________________
> > Swallowing Coins (a favorite):
> >
> > 1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the
> > hospital and demand x-rays.
> >
> > 2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch
> > for the
> > coin to pass.
> >
> > 3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his
> > allowance!
> > ______________________________________________________
> >
> > Pass this on to everyone you know who has children . . . or
> > everyone who
> > KNOWS someone who has had children . . (The older the mother, the
> > funnier
> > this is!)
> >
> > GRANDCHILDREN:
> >
> > God's reward for allowing your children to live!

Personally i see nothing wrong with it age is just a number a connection between two adults if its there its there age aside

Shy women are not boring you just have to work a little harder to get them to open up and talk.

Ponderisms

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

Garden
Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed
and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the
ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out?"

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt."

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if he's going to look up there anyway?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Facts and a Few Laughs for the day!

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have
produced
enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it.)

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is
produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it!)

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body
to squirt blood 30 feet.
(O.M.G.!)

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

A ****roach will live nine days without its head before it starves to
death. (Creepy.)
(I'm still not over the pig.)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour
(Don't try this at home, maybe at work)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to
its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
(Honey, I'm home. What the...?!)

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping
the length of a football field.
(30 minutes... Lucky pig! Can you imagine?)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)

Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmmmm.... ..)

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than
left-handed people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(Okay, so that would be a good thing)

A cat's urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
( I know some people like that.)

Starfish have no brains
(I know some people like that too.)

Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(What about that pig??)