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Community > Posts By > BigSky1970
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Im new here as well. My biggest pet peeve is people not taking the time to fill out the information. Like what your wanting in a relationship, about yourself and interests. Im not going to take a guy serious if he doesnt fill out the general information. I want to know and be able to read a little about the person and see if i would be interested or not. Welcome aboard! 
And I agree. I have attempted on occasion to contact women who have "I'll tell you later..." in their profile, only to find out they're not that talkative. |
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Ladies and gents ... What are some of the elements in profiles from the photograph to the written content that you consider a complete turn-off or at least a pet peeve?
- Filthy bedrooms - The "Sad" look - Duck faces I actually saw a profile photo of a photograph. Yeah, they snapped a photo from the phone of them holding a photograph in the other hand. Another profile had a photo of their drivers license (personally identifying information redacted of course) that expired in 1997. |
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Profiles that talk in the third person.
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Pics of their junk right in the profile pic lineup. GAG. No one wants to see that but YOU! There are some really sick dudes on dating sites. And it's 98% men. I spent a couple of hrs yesterday, volunteering my time deleting shirtless pictures and pictures of guys with their "foot long schlong" in hand. It's almost one profile after the other. In that two hours I sent 3 profiles to the higher ups to be banned. They were that bad. I personally deleted close to 300 nasty pictures from different profiles on that site. Sometimes it bothers me knowing that there are that many sick minded people out there. And it's mostly my gender. Yeah, and it makes it difficult for the rest of us guys who have a large degree of decency. |
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Edited by
BigSky1970
on
Mon 02/22/16 10:08 AM
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I had an instance where I was chatting with this really nice woman who lives in town. We've only been communicating via email. I don't want to pressure her for her cell phone number, even though we've been using email for about a few weeks now. In the mornings I would usually send her a good morning email to let her know I was thinking about her. She likes that. And I tell her good night as well. Little things like that to let her know I'm thinking about her.
Suddenly about a week ago, I stopped hearing from her. I got a bit concerned and had no other way of contacting her. So I gave it a few days and then sent her another email, and still nothing. A week goes by and finally I got an email from her. She had some issues going on at work and it was stressing her out. She basically said that she was so stressed that she more or less unplugged herself from the virtual world and the real world by withdrawing in to herself (her words). I replied back to her with a reassuring email and said that I understood what she was doing but told her I was getting concerned. With no other way of contacting her, I felt sort of helpless. I put myself in her position and realized I would probably do the same thing. We haven't met in person yet. I don't want to put too much pressure on her. She told me she works in the accounting department at the largest car dealership in town and she stays quite busy managing the books. So, I told her early on that I'm cool with taking things real slow. And when the time comes that we meet for coffee or lunch and things don't work out, we'll always remain as friends. |
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Another pet peeve of mine is getting "hi" emails from "girls" aged 19 to 25. Instantly deleted. Even if they were real, I'm interested in raising someone elses kid.
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The pics of girls squatting...I don't get it 
PS...Peggy, your last post cracked me up 
That would look sexy while making a duck face. (I kid). Wouldn't know if she was attempting to be attractive or taking care of business. 
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Edited by
BigSky1970
on
Mon 02/22/16 09:27 AM
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Turn off: A grown woman making a "Duck Face" Hmmm... Not quite sure what that is
Here's an image of a woman doing a "duck face", found on Bing Image Search. LOL http://www.kiss925.com/files/bad-selfie-1.jpg |
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let's edit all the postings so that the no evidence will be left lol Google Cache. LOL |
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Profiles where the only photos are those taken in a studio shoot which clearly have been airbrushed. Photos which are taken from extreme distances so you can't actually tell what the subject looks like. Profiles where they state they're looking for someone attractive. Yet they've no public picture of their own on display. I could go on lol. I'm beginning to realise that the photos are a tricky topic. For one thing glossy camera shots dont necessarily mean they are air-brushed. My phone takes amazing selfies . I have never photoshopped any. Maybe in a FEW cases , some people's phone cams are really great as well making photos appear airbrushed. Secondly, i dont hold it against people for posting studio shots. Some people are attractive in person but look AWFUL in pics and if they want to present a flattering version of themselves to the world, then what'wrong with getting some help from the studio?  And finally some folks post distant shots of themselves because it is a common practice for pics to be stolen by scammers and attached to a false profile. A stranger actually informed me that he saw me on a social medium that i.never signed up for. Some people are trying to protect themselves from that . I have chosen to take that risk because it increases the probability of achieving my goal here.. But i can understand why some people would decide that the risk is not worthwhile.
I understand the points you're making but a photo taken from a distance can still be used by scammers it however doesn't allow genuine people to see who might be sending a request to chat? If we all adopted that tact then dating sites would become increasingly more unproductive places for finding possible partners. If you've not the time to answer all emails in your inbox. How have you the time to arrange to meet someone who you don't even know what they actually look like? Exactly. Any photo can be used by a scammer. Doesn't matter if it's a selfie up close or a photo of you taken from a distance at some landmark. As long as the photo is posted on the internet, it's available to anyone to save and post elsewhere. Just today a scammer viewed my profile using a Facebook photo of a local female news anchor. I reported it because the city and name didn't match the photo. |
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Edited by
BigSky1970
on
Thu 01/28/16 05:30 PM
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Deleted
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Edited by
BigSky1970
on
Thu 01/28/16 05:38 PM
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Well that's the difference . I get follow up emails often. Not from time to time. And yes after answering maybe one more time then I block but I still find the whole excercise tiring . I am here to find compatible guys to date , not to comfort the guys who are incompatible for me I used to be that type of guy years ago. One that was always looking for confirmation, solace or sympathy. After reading countless dating advice sites, I understand the rationale behind not getting a response and it's been said many times here. A person can't help but feel a bit crushed, but many articles I've read said not to feel crushed because she barely knows you and you barely know her. She's either not interested in you, both sides are likely incompatible and/or has moved on to the next email. |
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I also had an instance where the woman asked me "What you doing?" every 5 minutes. That gets old quickly. I have guys who do the same thing to me in my real life lol. It's so lame lolol Yeah. LOL I do give them a few days but after that, I just move on. If that's how much interest they've shown in me. |
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I also had an instance where the woman asked me "What you doing?" every 5 minutes. That gets old quickly.
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Edited by
BigSky1970
on
Thu 01/28/16 08:17 AM
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So instead, they have one standard line that they send out to everyone? That, or copy/paste a letter that they’’ve used a million times. Hint: Most women can tell. It’s insulting. Cut the guys some slack violettigress A guy only gets maybe one response for every 20 messages that he sends. Can you really hold it against him if he doesnt want to put time and effort into 19 notes that he is almost guaranteed to get rejected for. What if e took the time to come up with a really AMAZING opening line and then sent it to you and others? Consider it as breaking the ice and then after you answer , he will be personalising the rest of his emails to you if there is mutual chemistry. How you feel about that?
I've crafted a few "ice breaker" emails and saved them to notepad. I change them or add to them depending on the person's likes, interests and line of employment. I think it's common that the male initiates first contact. The few times where a woman did initiate contact with me, turned out they were a scammer begging for money. Blocked them and moved on. I was trying to get the women to understand that even.when they put effort into personalised emails that they still often get ignored. So tell me... As someone who personalises his opening lines, Do you get a respinse from most of the women you approach? No. It doesn't matter if I send a cut/paste response that I've taken the time to write a thoughtful ice breaker well in advnace or take the time to actually type out a spontaneous ice breaker on the spot as well. I don't send a "Hi..." or "Hey baby, you're cute." type response, I actually engage a conversation by taking the time to send them something to respond to. When I do get a response, I end up feeling like I'm the only one talking because they don't say much when they do want to chat. I've also had sitations where they'll say they will be right back because they have something to take care of and I understand that. I frequently do the same thing. But they'll either stop talking or they come back and respond a week later. |
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Edited by
BigSky1970
on
Thu 01/28/16 07:43 AM
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I respect your personal experience but for me and i suspect many of the women here, we receive follow up emails to our rejection letters asking why, asking for for friendship or asking to be given a chance. And u have to understand women get way more emails than guys. Imagine if you get 10 emails and 8 of them send follow up emails after the rejection . Even if you chooose not to read the follow up emails, i personally find it draining. And all the while i am thinking ..."Shoudnt I be using this time to scout for people who are compatible and with whom there is chemistry? I get follow up emails from time to time. I just block them and move on. |
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Photos are a tricky subject. I had a selfie of me standing in front of a full length mirror, as a request from a woman who wanted to see the whole me. She proceeded to ask me why my one leg was crooked and I said I had a little bit of arthritis in my leg and I was born disabled. After that bit of honesty, she stopped talking to me. Talk about rejection letters, that's the worst kind.
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So instead, they have one standard line that they send out to everyone? That, or copy/paste a letter that they’’ve used a million times. Hint: Most women can tell. It’s insulting. Cut the guys some slack violettigress A guy only gets maybe one response for every 20 messages that he sends. Can you really hold it against him if he doesnt want to put time and effort into 19 notes that he is almost guaranteed to get rejected for. What if e took the time to come up with a really AMAZING opening line and then sent it to you and others? Consider it as breaking the ice and then after you answer , he will be personalising the rest of his emails to you if there is mutual chemistry. How you feel about that?
If he's sending out a lame copy and pasted message, that's a major reason why he's not getting many responses. It doesn't take much to read profiles and send a message based on something that interests him. It doesn't have to be long, or deep. It doesn't take that much time. Doesn't take much time to send out a friendly "Sorry, not interested" type of email if you're not interested in them. I've sent plenty of those to women 20 years younger than me. I'm not interested in raising someone else's kid. |
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So instead, they have one standard line that they send out to everyone? That, or copy/paste a letter that they’’ve used a million times. Hint: Most women can tell. It’s insulting. Cut the guys some slack violettigress A guy only gets maybe one response for every 20 messages that he sends. Can you really hold it against him if he doesnt want to put time and effort into 19 notes that he is almost guaranteed to get rejected for. What if e took the time to come up with a really AMAZING opening line and then sent it to you and others? Consider it as breaking the ice and then after you answer , he will be personalising the rest of his emails to you if there is mutual chemistry. How you feel about that?
I've crafted a few "ice breaker" emails and saved them to notepad. I change them or add to them depending on the person's likes, interests and line of employment. I think it's common that the male initiates first contact. The few times where a woman did initiate contact with me, turned out they were a scammer begging for money. Blocked them and moved on. |
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Profiles where the general questions haven't been answered are my pet peeve. I'm not aware if it's common amongst the men's profiles but it verges on the norm with most orofiles I view. When so many women claim not to have the time to respond to all the mail they receive. Maybe more should endeavor to complete the aspect of their profile. I'm fairly sure most men would prefer to save themselves the time and embarrassment of crafting a well thought out letter to a woman. Who when wearing her favourite heels on a night out will tower above him etc? It is also very common for men to not answer their profile questions as well and it makes me roll my eyes every time. . And no. It is not that the woman doesnt have the time to answer all of her mail. What she doesnt have is the mental energy to do it. I try to respond most of them. Its EXHAUSTING. Half of the men send follow up emails asking to be friends or to give them a chance. Cut us some slack please  . I spend more time sending gracious rejection mail than I spend looking for guys that I might like. Few women want to put themselves through that  i can only hope to be faced with such a dilemma. The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence my friend. It's not all it's cracked up to be. Trust that ...
Reminds me of the meme I saw the other day that said something to the effect, "If the grass is greener on the other side, it's fake".
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