Oh, shoot. See, the more I know you, the more I KNOW we were separated at birth - I just didn't get the clever comebacks you inherited.

AMEN

I tend to attract the ones that aren't

most of them like the "idea" of it but aren't sure how to go about it

i usually attract women who don't know what they want in general

Ok, don't you think that means they are emotionally unavailable? I mean, you have to come to terms with your own thoughts and feelings before you are able to convey them to someone else.

i dont attract anyone lol

It takes time to become emotionally available,
I am working on it..

and I refuse to attract another emotionally unavailable man.


very emotionally cautious...
thats a good thing!!
a postive point!!

I was thinking the same thing, i believe he is full of sweet stuff

My friends say I'm attracted to headcases...

I can't attract anyone.. I feel like i'm earning my masters in email rejection

we should start a support group lol

being emotionally available means being open to being hurt,happy,confused,etc.i think that being emotionally available is a personal choice.some people don't want to get hurt so they make themselves unavailable.

what ya get for looking up skirts like that pat

*jumps up and down waving arms frantically*
I'll join!!!

This is an interesting discussion. It seems that many do gravitate to those who are emotionally unavailable then become upset with their discovery in the the emotionally unavailable person cannot change the way they are.

A Dr. Harville Hendrix wrote a book a few years ago called "Getting the Love You Want". In it he talks about how we seek out in mates certain traits from our cartakers (parents) that were missing. I'm wondering if those who keep meeting emotionally unavailable people had at least one caretaker in their childhood that behaved in the same way?

Hendrix writes in his book that, as adults, we seek to correct the flaws of our caretakers by unwittingly seeking out a mate with the same flaw(s), so that we can correct them. Sort of like fixing our past. The downside to this is that most of these "flawed" people we seek cannot or do not want to change.

The point of Hendrix's book is that we need to avoid seeking out mates that we feel compelled to "fix" and instead, search for mates that are in no need of "fixing".

Make sense?

i am sure you dont get rejected lol a sweetheart like you . no way cant happen

I attract those who are.

Bobby J, that makes a lot of sense...however, it could apply to plethora of situations. And, I wonder, is there any advice at how to "avoid" that...I mean, it sounds simply, in theory, yet near impossible in fact - unless one has done a LOT of soul-searching and fact-facing.