Ok I know i'm 'young' to some of u...as is i'm only 19 but whatever... i'm confused and i need help... my first love went to jail and thats the only reason we broke up, and i moved on and now a friend is bring him up again and making want to get back in touch with him. I dont love him like i did when we were together but i still do care about him and i dont know if i should try and send him a letter, because he's still in jail....then theres these three guy's i'm talking to/seeing...one of them is really sweet but theres something about him i cant place...my best friends are at odds over where they stand on him so they dont help, one of them really likes him the other doesnt want me to talk to him anymore...Then guy 2 he's really sweet theres no pruessure but he never calls when he says he will and sometimes we go a week or so with out talking and that buggs me...and then guy 3...he's the newest guy in my life and we get along great and everything is good between us....but He's 14 years older than me...age has never been a factor for me before. but after my last realtionship(he was ten years older) makes me kinda iffy about going that much older again....or should i just scrap all three and find some one new....soo confused....

sweetie, in my opion i think that maybe you should just try being you for awhile and not be dating so many guys, you are young and have a while before not having a partner in life is an issue.. you should just be you and have time to work on you and just see what happens.. i find that when you stop looking than thats when you find what you want.. but i know dating is lots of fun and i am not saying you should stop but you don't have to go looking for wich one you should make your bf.. just have fun and be you and see whats happens and when its ment to be you'll know... and as far as the ex in jail if you can hadnle just being his friend or handle that he might still have feelings for you than write to him.. but if not leave it alone.. you don't want to play with your emotions and start wondering what if... but if you just want to see how he is and whatnot than i say go for it... but member the past is the past leave it there.. i hope i have helped some.. good luck!!!!

Here is some advice:

Guy 1: Forget him. No future being with a convict.

Guy 2: Forget him too. He is not interested. If he does not bother to contact you just to see how you are doing then he is not worth your time.

Guy 3: Age is just a number. If things are ok so far then it's worth a shot.

Good luck!!

oh me oh my

Ummmmm. First of all, just chill, take a breath, and relax. (Waits a moment). Okay. Now.....as you are calm now, let's break this down shall we?

Jail Guy- Ummmmmm, I think this would be a mistake to go back to him. One...he is in jail. Two, he is in jail. Three, you stated that you have moved on. Good, and there is no reason to go back to him, even if your friends say that you might ought to. Caring for him is one thing, but that is not enough to warrant going back to him. Send him a letter, as a friend (make sure this is clear too, the friendship part). I just feel that you say you have moved on and he is in jail...no need to look back.

Now the three amigos.......

Guy #1- Sweet but something about him you can't place? Plus, your friends are at odds with him? Okay, first of all, you do realize that you, and only you, have to decide if this guy is worth trying to have a relationship with right? If you can't place something about him, then that is usually a good sign that there is something about him that just aint right. Maybe you feel he is not being all that truthful. Maybe you feel he could be a player. Whatever it is, you need to figure out what "IT" is about him that bothers you.

Guy #2- You pretty much answered this. He never calls when he says? And this bugs you. Yup....move on. That one was easy. Sounds like he might be chatting and or seeing a few ladies all at once. Just a thought.

Guy #3- Don't pin the "Jail" guy and the fact he was older than you on Guy #3. That is stereotyping. Bad idea. I assumed when you said last relationship, you meant "Jail" guy. If not...my bad. In any case, you said you guys get along great and all is well. That is good. I would keep talking with this person, keeping my distance until I knew more and more, and then see what happens. This guy seems to be the more logical choice to see what can happen.


So. There you go. You can scrap them all if you wanna, but right now, I would look to number 3.

I know who i am...i took alot of time and cut my self off from alot of people after my last ex and my self broke up...and figured out exactly who i was and what i wanted...the guy in jail..i know i dont feel anything but friendship for and i can handle if he still likes me and what not...i just have to figure out now how to get a hold of him....With the other three...i dont know what to do because we just dont seem to be going anywhere...and i dont know what to do...i'm not really looking for anything serious..i want to enjoy my life and see whats out there but i dont know how to deal with the guys and maybe talk to them less or make them friends with out hurting some one

Go to school and meet someone who is also going to school and wanting to make something of themselves....forget all three of the ones you know now!

first, a question :is your ex in jail for something serious?
that should be hint #1 as to whether or not to 'rekindle'
a relationship.
and now a comment: there is something WRONG about a 30 year old
man trying to be in a relationship with a 19 yr old girl.
nothing against you, sweetie, but a man at 30+ is either just looking for physical relations, or is not right in his mental/emotional mind.

actually no...'jail guy' was younger than me...but my last ex was in jail too....see i have a thing i guess i just attract guys who have done time...cuz guy 3 has done time...and i know that i make the final decison when it comes down to who i date, but my friends play a hugeeeee part in my life and i couldnt be with some one that didnt get along with them..cuz we're practly the same..ya know... i guess i feel like i should try to find some one Or ones new...but i dont know how to tell them

just kind of fade out, no need for a scene.

Okay. I give up with you chics. I mean...seriously. It's like alot of people, male and female, just can't make up there own freaking minds nowadays. You have to go through family and friends, make them give there opinion, tally the votes, and whatever the outcome is, that is your decision. Sorry...that is weak.

So you went from taking time for yourself to having 4 guys to deal with, Hm I wish I had that problem with women lol

Your young and i'm wondering why at your age you looking for somthing serious. Try just having fun but if your looking to have something last, then stick with one and be honest with yourself with what you want. I can't express on how important that is because so many don't know what they want that the other ends up getting hurt.

No i dont go with what my friends and family think....i just take in to consderation how they feel about the person i'm seeing...i know that no matter what i choise to do they'll be happy for me no matter what...and thats all they want is for me to be happy....

here,here!

no u really dont...i've dealt with it most of my life...and its not fun...maybe for a little while but not for ur whole life...I'm stuck in a nineteen year old body, and i grew up pretty fast...i guess its the comfort in knowing that some one will always be there for me that i crave...But ur right and i should just have one... and be honest..which i am...

Tell guy #1 that guy #2 has tried to start a relationship with you since he (#1) has been in Jail. Guy #1 will be pissed at #2 and go "deal" with him. Guy #2 will regret he dissed you. Guy #1 will go back to jail for probation violation and you can live happily ever after off of guy #3 social security check.

Wow it seems that you are all confused!! I think maybe you are just seeing to many guys! I know its fun getting all that attention BUT I do think it plays a number on the old heart!! Thats why I think its better at times to just date one person at a time.
I think what I would do with the first guy or the guy in jail is this, I believe that everyone can make a mistake. You didn't say what he was in for or how long he was in there for. Depending on what he did and how you feel maybe you should write him a letter. BUT sometimes people that go to jail end up back in jail. Do you really want to spend your life just writing letters? That isn't a fair way of life for you. But I do understand that if you are still having feelings for him how you could still want to see him and tell him how you feel.
I think with the second guy, you should just dump him. "Don't make someone a priority who only makes you an option." You said that he sometimes goes for a week without calling you? Why would you want to date someone like that? If someone says they are going to call you and then they don't--they just are not that into you!! Dump him and do not give him anymore of your precious time!!!
I think with the third guy, or the older gentleman..let me tell you a little secret, age shouldn't matter. I think this man right here is your best bet. I promise you one thing, he will be the one to treat you with the most respect, he won't be the one to use you or abuse you! He is out of the game playing stage...yep he might be a little bit older and if that doesn't bother you, then he is the one I would go for.
Good luck and I hope I have helped a little

O.K. you gotta figure out why these guys that keep ending up in jail are the ones you are attracted to.

STOP IT. Look at your self worth. Why would you waist your time with felons who have no future, cuz they "love" you? There are plenty of guys out there that will "love" you too.

Step back, take some time to think, and be by yourself for awhile. give yourself that gift. Find out what makes you happy, and I'm not talking about guy wise. Guys will always be there, they arn't going anywhere any time soon.

You need to take care of you. Stop trying to "save" everyone else before you lose yourself....this comeing from a woman who has been there and done that and got at least 10 tee-shirts frmo the deal.

thanks unsure i dont want to start another relationship with the guy in jail...honestly he's in on statatory charges and grand theft auto...so he'll be there for a while...i just want to be his friend..age doesnt matter to me but i'm still young...i'm more mature when it comes to certain things then most girls my age...but i still like to go out and have fun...the last guy i dated that was older than me wouldnt let me...i'm scared that'll happen again...

Honestly thinking about it... i think i'm attracted to the felons cuz of the whole Reformed bad boy image they put out...and i know i dont need them..but at the same time cuz they've done time they know exactly what to say to make u trust them...I dont need a man I know who i am and now i have a firm grip on me...i just feel like if i stop seeing guys i'm gonna miss something....but thanks for the advice Lily