I grew up on a 140 acre farm back in Oklahoma, and was raised naive
Once when I was in the service, I was stationed in Norfolk Virginia. Walking home one day after getting off the boat I saw a book store that said Novelty book store.
So I thought to myself well I'll just stop in here and get me a book to take home and read. So I noticed as I got up close that they had steel bars on all the windows, and I thought to myself...now thats stupid who would want to break into a book store and steal books. So just as you get inside you had to turn to your left and go up some stairs and go through another door that also had steel bars. I thought what the heck. So as I go in I see all this porn videos, magazines, and sex toys...I was horrified. I took off in a hurry hoping that no one I knew saw me go in there.
The next day on the boat we got a list of places we were not allowed to go, and that was one of them.

wow i bet that was an eye opener...oops

Yep from then I knew what novelty meant

im a small town country gal..reminds me of when i first moved here to the big city. we were going down the road and passing a row of hotels and this car pulled over and this young girl went running from the hotel and jumped inthe car with a duffle bag and i said "omg, they almost left their daughter" my sister called me a dumb ass and informed me it was a hooker. i was beside myself, had never seen such a thing.

Another time I had moved from Oklahoma to Daytona Beach.
Now I hadn't been here long, when one day I decided to get a haircut. So I thought about this one place I had seen that had a pretty neon figure of a woman on the window. The sign outside said mens salon.
So I thought well I'll just go in here and get a haircut from a beautiful woman. ( Men like to have their hair cut by beautiful women)So I go in and noticed there wasn't any barber chairs...So I thought to myself well maybe they have them in the back.
There was this pretty lady in a nice dress standing behind this glass counter, and another pretty girl setting in a chair in the corner, and that was all the furniture in this place.
So I walk up to the girl behind the glass case, and I say to her...I'm here to get a haircut and she asked me, have you ever been here before?
I said no, so then she proceeded to tell me they had a hot tub in the back and to have a girl join me it was a certain price and to have them do this or that it was a certain price, and listed a whole bunch of things along with prices.
So after she was done I looked at her and said ...But I just want to get a haircut.
She said Oh....we don't do that here.
I was so embarrased because she and the other girl started laughging
I left there in a hurry too.

Another time when I was in school in science class we had e reading assignment and questions that we had to answer before the class was over.
So as I was rreading I was also daydreaming, when all of a sudden I had a question so I raised my hand and said very loudly...MOM...omg...I was so embarrased...and so was he.

At least I had the morphine that was still in my system to blame it on.

Another time as I was sitting in my shop class and my shop teacher said...Kenneth your about to lose your best buddy, so I looked down to see if my pants were unzipped, and he said no your wallet.

Lol...right
By the way all these stories are true and really did happen to me. I have more if you want to hear them

I was in a hot tub connected to a pool at a hotel in Orlando, Fl. Me and my buddy were talking with some nice young ladies we'd met earlier in the day. Well I was getting a little thirsty and realized my drink was at the other end of the pool. When I swam across to get the ice cold beverage a couple of kids were playing on the ladder so I pulled myself out of the pool not realizing that I had forgotten to tie my cargo shorts that were completey filled with water. Let's just say anyone (including my new friends) who was looking got a full moon in the middle of the day! At least I can laugh about four years after it happened.

Ha Ha ha ha that would be funny

kenneth you are a HOOT!

And last but not least.
One time I was working for an exterminating company and I had this one home that we had done quarterly's on for years. I was spraying the outside of this really nice home, when all of a sudden my stomach just started cramping...I tried to hold it in as long as I could, then I knew I couldn't hold it in any longer.
So I went around to the front of the house and knocked on the door and this lady dressed as a maid answered the door.
So I asked, may I please use your restroom. So she looked at the owner which also happened to be a female and she said go ahead and let him in. So the maid led me to a bathroom just a little ways down the hall. So I ran over to the toilet and let er rip. It was disgusting, and went on for quite a while...and stank just as bad. So as I was leaving the bathroom the maid was standing half way up the stairs and laughing. The owner had this scowl on her face and didn't look to happy.
The following day they cancelled their services.

Guess I'm the only one who's done that..lol. OOOOPPPSSSS;^]

Was at a club and with a lady in my car(in the act) and had a cop shine his flashlight on my azz and the windows were down.
He said EXCUSE ME,(LOL) I said, aaaaa YESSSS officier could YOU give me just a minute? It was a VERY EYE watching time for the two cops as I and HER had to get out to get dressed,,,lol

stop spanking your monkey in public places.

lmao... but I wasn't the one spankin' it;^]

oh, that's different then - spank away!~!

Thank god I got my own place now for that;^]

I wasa dancer in Canada and one night my adopted uncle/dads best friend came to the club and I happened to be on stage, that was an odd momement of what are you doing here, no what are you doing here, while trying to cover my naked ass...He has dating a co-worker and I never knew it...We still can't look at each other in the eyes....Talk about being busted with your pants off....