yes, the state will seek support whether you want them to or not-if you have received any $$ or medical for the child. now if you have a reason-such as fear of physical harm to yourself or the child by the absent parent-they must consider that. but you have to show legitimate proof.

in addition, if you were to pay the state back for the services you received, they would have no grounds to seek out the absent parent.

that money is for your child and both parents should contribute regardless if you want it or not.take the money for your kid.


The money is for my child, granted, but what good does it do when I know we will never see very much of it and it is giving the sperm donor the right to possibly be in our lives and that mean the risk of harm to me and my son. I can live without the money!

I know in PA if a father does not contact the child within the first 6 months of his/her life and was given the opportunity, you can bar him from seeing the child.

There are other options; the state will get the money it's owed one way or another; bottom line. I also know in PA if you make under a certain amount (depending on household, I know someone that had family of 3 and making a little over $20,000 a year) you can look into a pro bono lawyer. It seems like a lot of trouble; but your argument is flawed. In PA, a father doesn't have to pay child support (even if ordered) and still has the right to see his child.

Either way; the dad has the option of walking back into you and your child's life. Although if there is court ordered support and he if flaky on paying it the judge MAY look down upon it; it depends on the period of time involved.

So if this guy poses as much of a threat as you say, either way you are better off looking into a lawyer.

Yes, what amazes me is this...

We have a helper that works with us. He makes barely more than minimum wage. The guy loves his kids. He got behind on child support, and in the state of Ga. The state revokes your driver license.

Now, if someone could please explain to me how this man is supposed to get back to work and try and catch up his child support?

Further, How can this possibly benefit the child? This is perhaps the most idiotic law that has ever been introduced.

If you are going to require someone support their children, then you do not put stumbling blocks in front of them...bottom line...

Now, if the dad or mom is a dead beat, then i agree they should be punished, but not in a way that interferes with the welfare of a child. I'm sure there other ways of dealing with it.

just my .02

hey, mark...here, they also pull your PROFESSIONAL licenses.

not sure that makes ANY sense. "oh, i'm a doctor...i'm an electrician...but i can't practice!"

The money is for my child, granted, but what good does it do when I know we will never see very much of it and it is giving the sperm donor the right to possibly be in our lives and that mean the risk of harm to me and my son. I can live without the money!


visitation and child support are seperate issues in most states so if he decides to look you up,he will.Take the money and open up a bank account for the child.

here you get thrown in the slammer till you pay 10 percent of the back child support.stupid.

well my guess is they feel that they will get the money for some kind of repayment for money that you may have received while living in that state

but only a guess

and

after all

what do i know

You don't want to accept child support?

the state wants """"their"""" money

if you recieved any assistance at all

the state persues to collect till

they collect and if you collected

then the law usually says you have to cooperate

with any collection actions

if not you may be prosecuted for hindering

and receiving benefits not entitled to

i would suggest cooperating or get a lawyer

but hey what do i know

Because a lot of "single parents" would rather sign up for welfare, food stamps etc...etc and "WE" all get screwed into paying for it. Why should "WE" have to pay for it...the deadbeat that you slept with should pay.

At least they try to do something now. In the 80s they didn't do anything. My ex didn't pay, I divorced him in 1980, and he was ordered to pay, was a logger making big bucks in Alaska. Support enforcement said they couldn't do anything because he wasn't served some paper, but he was in jail for 45 days and I told them, they screwed around and never got him served then either. They finally passed a law stating that ex's could get the nonpaying ex's IRS refund, the second I applied for that, you can bet the state swooped in and took those. I was not on welfare, was working 2 jobs to support us so didn't owe them any money. They did nothing to help us out, basically robbed us of what was rightfully ours. He didn't have to be responsible for anything and wasn't.

Anyways, he died when our daughter was 18, owing us over $28,000 back support. Left no will, no insurance, and I even had to pay our daughter's share of his funeral expense, so that was even a slap in the face - and the sucker died on my birthday to top it off. He knew he was dying, alcoholic cardiomyopathy - killed his heart with his drinking, so had time to do a will, etc., but didn't do anything.

I heard that in Georgia the state pays the child support if the father isn't and then when he gets a job they then garnish the wages to pay back what the state has already paid.

I'm in Missouri and the father is in Iowa and we now have an interstate case opened because he stopped paying. They told me that they couldn't do anything unless Iowa wanted to help and thankfully they decided to help. I have to call back in Feb to check on things. He's supposed to pay 344 a month and I never got that much and the last two payments I got were less than 100. I don't care how much it is as long as I get money. I'm a student and not working, I've been looking, so every bit of money I get is helpful.

Also, just because you get child support it doesn't mean he can see your child. My sons father has never seen him and he's now 17months old so there's no way the state would let him have visitation. Also, if you have others that can vouch for you in what you say then that'll be enough if the father really is a danger.

The reason is very simple. It has nothing to do with your personal wishes. It has to do with the best interests of the child in question. Period.

very simple. You walk. or you carpool. Just like the rest of the world that does not make enough to own a car, or for whatever reason is stuck to public transportation. He culd also get a bicycle.

Girl, do what you want to do. The state can't force you to cooperate. Let them keep writing, just ignore them. Tell them "I don't know" to every question they have. Problem with that though, is they might get you in trouble for not cooperating with them. That's what California does.

If I was you, I would give them what info they need, just to get them off your back. If the father doesn't pay, then oh well. If he does pay, then great. But don't worry, child support will not bring him back into your life. Visitations is a seperate thing. You can have your address kept private, and the payments wired into a EBT card. He will never know where you are. Point is, it wouldn't hurt to to try to get the payments.

Exactly.

Actually I found out today that the state is not going to continue to pursue me. I got a letter in the mail today that plainly stated they dropped their case because I have moved. If I ever need assistance where I am currently living this state can choose to pick it up but since I no longer live in the previous state they arent going to do anything.

As for the child support, visitation thing, I do know that they are seperate issues but once he has access to contact me he will be back in our lives, whether its through visitation or just plain old harrassment. He has not once ever tried to find us, (I moved while I was pregnant) and he isnt going to because he doesnt want to have to pay child support, but if something were to happen he wants someone else to do it for him. He tries to claim to be a victum because I chose not to have him at the hospital and because I chose to protect my child. He knows all he has to do is take it through the legal channels and in front of a judge and he can have his rights. SO, why hasnt he?

Sounds like he made it pretty clear from the start that he doesn't want to be a Dad so he probably isn't going to pursue that or you.
If you are really worried about it move to a state like Kentucky where if the father has no contact for a year the child is considered abandoned and you can adopt your child back as a single parent. Then he has no rights or obligations.
Just because a guy has a child with you doesn't mean you have to have any contact with him on a personal level. Yea you may have to communicate about best interest issues with him in regards to the child but that includes no information about you.