I was married and my wife left me for a loaer and when I sa loser I mean loser. So a few years later I get into a relationship. Went 15 years, we broke up last year, and she left me for a loaer and when I saw loser I mean living with family can't keep ans has never held a steady job.

I mea I'm not a bad guy. Retired military and I have a few issues from combat but I deal with it. I may not be the most effective ate but holding hands and pda is not how I show affection. I'm not even close to rich but my bills are paid. What the hell is wrong with me?

Get your life squared away

It is thats not an issue. I don't live with my parents. I have a steady income, my own car, my own place and I was able to retire at 41

For starters, everyone but you is a loser.
Yet they got the girl(s).

Losers usually don't win.
Perhaps you have mislabeled all the people
in your scenario.

I would say a guy in his 50's who couch surfs, never held a steady job, never lived in his own, asks the woman you spossedly love for beer money is a loser. That's a loser in my book.

I agree that men like that are losers . You on the other hand there’s nothing wrong with you but the women. Also you’re the kind of man that has some of the qualities I look for in one . Keep trying and best of luck .

Thank you. That helps some. I mean hell if she would have left me for someone better I would have been happy for her. Well, that andif she didn't take money from me to send to him

If your life was squared away,
you wouldn't be online, whining
that your heifer of 15 years left
you for a better man.

So no constructive thoughts huh? Just trolling.

So I guess you are so smart and have so much g9ing on for you that you haven't asked advice from anyone.

Yet here you are. On the same site tearing down other people because you have low self esteem.

This may be best answered by your two exes.

I did and all I ever got was same ******** answers that they were telling so they wouldn't seem like the bad obes

We do not know your wife, I think you should have asked her those questions maybe she would have told you why!

I did and I got bs answers
It's not you its me
It just happened
I didn't plan on it

Two sides to every story. Going by what you said, that you are a good person and paying bills, it's more than that. I'm not choosing sides, but did you and your exes ever talk, do things together, have fun? Maybe something missing there?

Yes. I can sort kf understand why the first one left. She did it in the shitties way possible but I can sort of understand.
The second one the answer was all ways no. A movie? No. Donner? No. Day trip? No etc

I'm thinking that you are not getting to know a woman well enough before you get into a serious relationship with.

It seems like Farid's answer is the most suitable...

It is only your ex's who can answer your question...

And maybe you already have the answer, it's not you it's her, she didn't plan it, it just happened... (as you stated earlier)...

I would hazard a guess that without your realising, you and your partner grew apart...

And you didn't put closure on it, you got married again and then she left or you left...

Men and Women don't want partners who are carrying emotional baggage, it's over, close that book and throw it away (unless you have kids together - in which case you need to keep those bridges open, for the sake of your children)...

And thinking about it, or discussing it, shows that you have not put closure to it...

It gives the impression that you're thinking "what did I do wrong?"

I love the "Reason, Season and a Lifetime (3 Reasons)" poem or story or whatever it is that you call it...

It explains beautifully, the 3 reasons about relationship breakdown, and help put closure on the topic of why did it happen...

Reason, Season and a Lifetime

People always come into your life for a reason, a season and a lifetime. When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, or to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or even spiritually. They may seem like a godsend to you, and they are. They are there for a reason,you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die, Sometimes they just walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilleed; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.


When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season. And like Spring turns to Summer and Summer to Fall, the season eventually ends.

LIFETIME, relationships teach you a lifetime of lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people anyway, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas in your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant. Thank you for being part of my life…..

You know. I think your right. For most of my relationship I needed her f9r s0acific tasks. Ones that she loved ding and loved me asking her to do. Tasks that made her feel part of a world of mine and contributing. Then it ended. Maybe she felt she no longer served a purpose in my life and didn't know how to connect to me anymore.

Abd no you perverts I'm not talking securely lol

I'm guessing that you are going to do everything Jaan Doh says. Good luck.

Nothing wrong. We all need to grow never stopping, wisdom answers all questions. Try going about your life doing the things you want to do. Don't go to places like bars to meet someone, both would be out of their zone, what a shock to realize that a few years down the road. Be yourself, find someone walking the same path as you and see what happens. The best relationships are the ones where you meet someone and then the next thing you know twenty years have passed. It all clicks. Never get ahead of yourself and or committed until, well maybe twenty years have passed and it occurs that you have over looked swearing an oath you can't keep and probably shouldn't even try and not even necessary. Just chill and live life the way you desire. What you seek is most likely doing the same.