Well, it came in a wrapper and they were very young (age 4 at the time)

Well at least it came in the wrapper. It's just good common sense to through away anything that doesn't come in a wrapper... (that's what they teach us as kids regarding halloween candy anyway).

When My son was about 5, I was in Target buying bras, and saw him walking beside me with his eyes closed. I asked him what he was doing, and he looked at me and said "Mom! There's boobies everywhere!!!"

I walked in my little girls room the other day and i saw her chewing on something. I knew i had not seen her take anything in their to eat. So silly me i ask "I said BB what are you eating you know you are not suppose to have anything to eat in your room."She looked up at me and said "daddy a bugger". That was priceless.

Back to my story about the condum;

All the boys were crowded around, and my middle son (6 at the time) I open the pkg showed them the condum and was explaining it to them what it was and what it was used for, well his eyes where as big as siver dollars and he looked at me so seriously and replied,"Momma, you don't have to tell me not to wear that condum. Cuz he must be a gaint."... I died laughing it was so funny.. OMG... LMAO NOW REMEMBERING THIS.

Just want to Thank Everyone for sharing all their stories. Kids are a precious treasure and I wish more people could see the beauty that children can share. God Bless You All. Have a Safe Holiday.

I posted this under the "Cute or Sweet Thread" & Didn't realize there were 2 threads like this going... so at the risk of repeating myself:

My 4 year old asked for a Ken doll for Christmas. I asked her why and she said so that Barbie had a boyfriend. So I asked her what Barbie would do with her boyfriend and she said "Marry Him" and then I said "Which (of your 12 Barbies) would Ken marry" and she said "All of them!" And I said "Oh, really?!" and she said "Yes, cuz they are friends, mommy and nice friends share."


And when my son (now 7) was 5 and in Kindergarten, I had him practice writing before he started going to school. He did the work messy and sloppy... but he was 5... so at least he made the effort. 2 weeks into the school year, he brings me papers he's done with the most BEAUTIFUL & Neat handwriting and so I had to ask him why he made it all messy for me but perfect for his teacher... and he very matter of factly stated "Mommy, no matter what, you're always going to be my mommy. But the teacher... well, if I don't do good, she will fail me. And we can't have that!"

We were in line at Walmart when my son spotted a cross the cashier was wearing .He loudly announced "My nana has one like that but there 'a a guy strapped to it"..i almost died..

WHEN MY SON WAS 4,HE ALWAYS WANTED TO EAT, HE WANTED TO KNOW IF THERE WAS FOOD IN HEAVEN,IF NOT.HE WASN'T GOING THERE.

I could probably write a book on the funny things my kids have done/said. Here's one of my favorites:

My older son went thru a period when he refused to wear any clothes around the house. He was around 4 at the time. I didn't want to fight him on this & figured he'd out grow this phase, but I would gently suggest that there were good reasons people wore clothes & gently encouraged him to do likewise, to no avail. Then, one day my younger son (who weighed 20 lbs at 5 mos.) was looking to for something to latch onto so he could pull himself up to stand, and what did he spy but the older guy's package dangling free. He latched onto it, pulled all 20+ lbx up to standing. The look of sheer pain and shock on the older one's face cannot be described! From then on he wore clothes.

All of these stories are so funny. I have laughed till I cried.

Here's another one for ya.

My oldest son 14 now (at age 2 potty training) we were at church and I was talking to 2 elderly ladies, and he just walks up and pulls his pants down and says, I gotta a peepee. I was so embarrassed, I told the ladies I was sorry, they just laughed about it. He was very proud of his package.

Thank You to everyone for Sharing your stories, they were all great.

I have a set of twin boys who were born within minutes of one another they are six and a bit right now

The younger one broke wind one day and it wasn't pleasant. I said what was that and he said sorry Dad my stomach hates me today. Haven't got the foggiest where he got that from?

Here's something funny but scary too..

July 4th 2006 my oldest son was into army stuff (13yrs at this time) he was scaring the younger boys with smoke bombs. Well, they HAD a treehouse at the time, and he threw one and caught the whole treehouse on fire. Came running into the house YELLING THE WHOLE THING IS ON FIRE. Trying to calm him so I could understand what he was talking about. He said,"MOM DON'T JUST STAND THERE DO SOMETHING!" He ran grapping a pan and filling it with water, I ran out side. My step son at the time had the water hose and was putting the fire out. Then my oldest son runs around the corner and throws the water right over me & my step son. I said,"Geez, Thanks Son I Didn't Know I Was On Fire To."

I can laugh about this now, but I wasn't laughing at the time.

My daughter is deaf and at the time was 4 yrs old. I would call the police a- holes and flick them off from time to time when I was driving down the road and would see them pulling someone over. Well I never paid attention to the fact that she was only deaf and could see me flicking them off. One day I had got pulled over for speeding and she was in her car seat sleeping, when she woke up and seen the police officer she started flicking him off ,he said "what is she doing" I said "she is saying she has to pee." Thank God he didnt know sign language and he let us go because he thought she really had to go. But then I had to teach her not to ever do that (only when they weren't looking) (just kidding) ALL THE TIME!!!

My daughter came home from school, kindergarten, so she was five. She comes breezin' through the front door, her mother and I are in the kitchen, and I call out HELLOOOOOOO...
She replys "Hello D**khead"
I said in shock "What did you say?"
"Hello F**khead" she says...............
"Young Lady, time out for you right now!!!!"

Her mother and I are trying to keep from laughing out loud,clearly she had no idea what she had said or what any of it meant. My daughter was in tears, standing in the corner.
We calmed her down and told her what she said was very hurtfull and never to say that again.
Turns out there was a new boy at daycare with a
"colorful vocabulary", he was gone by the end of the wk.

This past summer my daughter and I went to town. While we were there, we seen quite a few pregnant women. Then on the way home, we see a pregnant woman on her porch. So I simply made the comment, "Boy, there sure are a lot of pregnant women around here." With out missing a beat and a dead serious look on her face, my daughter says, "Well Mom, you do know it is mating season!" I laughed so hard I could hardly drive home. And I have no clue where she even got that idea from!


I gotta say, these stories are fantastic. I haven't laughed this hard in a while!

When my son was 2 we were walking in a department store and he looked past my shoulder, pointed, and said, "look, mommy, a fag". I couldnt believe he had heard that word. I said no, we dont say that. He kept persisting and saying, "no mommy, look, look, a fag". I turned around and he saw a flag.

When I was 10 months old, my mother had me and my brother on a crowded bus and once we had sat down, I was in her lap as she was putting her bag down and getting my brother seated. She turned back around to see that I had unbuttoned her shirt entirely and opened it up for everyone to see.

my son is into experimenting with toys and gadgets, he's nine.Well, one day I was down stairs and heard my son yelling...I ran upstairs...my son had had taken two magnets and decided to attatch them to his private part to see if it would work
I hit the floor laughing so hard I was crying

My daughter age 4 at the time had met a new friend...she wanted me to meet them
She was listening me talk to a friend about going to school and not getting screwed money wise with it.
She opens that back door,leans out and yells" My mom can't meet you right now,she's busy getting screwed!

I just have to tell this one. When my daughter was about 3 or 4, I was working and she stayed at a daycare in the home of a nice lady and the kids always said Grace before they ate, so one day at home when she went to say the blessing we heard her say it and instead of saying "Daily bread" she would say "gravy bread". It was so cute. Wow, where do the years go? She is 15 now.

I'm kidless, myself, but work with them.


5 year old girl to her overweight grandpa...

"Grandpa, boys aren't supposed to have boobs."