Came across this in a series, and it could happen for real.

I'm wondering what you would do, mostly the guys.

Situation: an ex FWB found out she was pregnant of twins AFTER you had broken up with her.
You are willing to support her and the children, you want to be there as a dad, but you also make it very clear you aren't coming back to her as you do not love her.
You find new love, the love of your life, and you are incredibly happy together.
The ex FWB also finds new love and is going to marry. Her partner offers to adopt the twins so the biological father has a freebee in that sense.

Then his current partner, this true love, says she wants to have a baby.
He feels torn. He's got twins coming, owns his own business and there's a few other things that will keep him pretty busy.

He says he doesn't want to rob her of the chance to become a mother and breaks up with her, meaning 2 heartbroken people who both lost the love of their life and their future together.


QUESTION: what would you as a man do in that situation?
OPTION ONE: You have the choice to allow the unborn twins to be adopted and grow up in a loving family. Without you in the scene.
Then there'd be no reason to break up with the woman you love. Nor to spend thousands of dollars and court fights to try and win custody when the mother isn't cooperative.

OR... OPTION 2:
would you do the same thing and fight for custody -which apparently can take years and cost a helluva lot of money? And break up with the woman you really love as well?

To be honest, if I was a bloke I wouldn't know what I'd do. Now I of course cannot think like a man, hence me asking you guys here.

A paternity test and a courtroom custody/rights battle seems likely.

Yeah, apparently you cannot just get a paternity test done if the mother doesn't want to. Not easy from what I understood.

But thing is, would that be your choice, at the expensive of losing the woman you love (not her choice) and a lot of money?

out of those two scenarios .... i certainly would not know what to do ...
But in reality , i would make sure I dont fall into such a challenging position.... as for having twims with a FWB .... that would be ridiculous ..... she is FWB for a reason !!!
God knows how expensive having kids is , patently suits , court cases , lawyers etc etc .... are to be avoided at any cost ..... and so far I have succeeded!!!

First of all I would not permit myself to be in such a situation.
I'm interested in women already PAST menopause.
I was married most of my life and I didn't play around.
I also practice safe sex (not worried about babies, more of a health thing)
I also possess integrity, intelligence and wisdom.

To me, this fantasy scenario elicits exactly the reaction the series intends, in people conditioned to fantasizing about scenarios depicted in fantasy entertainment.

If someone is unwise enough to find themselves in a similar siutuation, they should have known better and that's their problem. SUX to be them.

Fantasy or not, it CAN happen in real life. And what I'm asking about really is, can a man give up on his unborn kids or not? Not ever seeing or getting to know them.
From what I've always understood most men don't really bond with their baby until it's born, sometimes even not until it's a little older, not a baby anymore.
In this case they're not even born so any perceived attachment is mental only, not emotional.
Could you live with knowing you have 2 biological kids that you don't know?

Yeah, difficult choices...
I think if I was in the same position I'd go for allowing them to be adopted. It'd be different had they already been born, but so far you'd only have seen a few ultrasounds.
But yeah... for me as a woman difficult to fathom what it would feel like as a man.

An ex FWB?

FWB, generally doesn't imply that it was a
committed one on one relationship.
As such, that leaves open the question of
whom the baby daddy might be.
If, the ex FWB really is pregnant.

Second part, has me in a committed relationship
with the woman I love. I'd be honest with her.
But, I'd express my doubts at to paternity in the ex
situation.

It's not an unheard of tactic, for an ex to falsely
claim pregnancy to interfere in the current relationship
of her ex.

Yeah, I'd want to know how she got pregnant. Did she forget the pill or what?
In this case the FWB was exclusive so it's not a question if he's the dad, but the paternity thing could be a necessary step in order to get custody.

That's a good point Rock .... an ex FWB... wow Hollywood or whoever is certainly running out of new story lines ....just for them to come up with this ridiculous stuff... and what ... do ya just text the FWB when it's over and you found your soul mate!!! ??? Wonder if that could work ???

If I was Absolutely certain that the kids were mine .... no way I would put em up for adoption or have nothing to do with them ... and I would be there always for them , inspite of soured relationships......

She's no more responsible for getting pregnant,
than the guy who forgot to wear a condom is for
helping her get that way.

Two to tango. It's a shared responsibility.

If custody, or child support, is to be an issue...
Then a paternity test is definitely in order

Since we're talking hypothetically, I could...'live' but I wouldn't be happy about it. Family heritage is important to me.
People live without their kids all over the world.
Not only do they ignore their offspring on purpose sometimes they are actually stolen from them. Women even push away their own children.
Men and women can even murder their own children & families.

Would I purposely ignore my own children...certainly not.
I would even fight for the right to be in their lives.
But, in the real world there are fathers who will not.
I've even heard men say "so what, I'll make more".

Personally, I don't like mothering a baby. I do show love to babies in my family but all in all, I like kids when they are not so breakable. I don't swoon over babies, yeah, they're cute an all and mine are precious but they are not focus material till they start getting interesting.
Before you ask, yes, I was an active daddy. I even talked daddy baby talk to them. I bonded but most of the strongest bonds happened once they could crawl and walk and talk.

Frankly I think anyone who can't love their own kid is someone I don't want near me or mine.

Since I know I'd never be in that situation, I'd never consider any sort of reply to that.

I got lost half way through as it seemed like someone else came out of the blue.

In short if you do the crime you do the time. If you don't cover it up and you make babies, then man up and deal with it and pay your way. You said the FWB woman got a new bloke who will adopt them, so as you say get out of jail free..

Then someone else turns up wanting a baby, so if it's with man 1 then he's clear to make another one to add to his tally and boast of his virility and only then has that one to pay for...So it should be no problem.

It's a "series" so for entertainment purposes being that it is twins they should both get 1 child. Not sure if they are identical or fraternal but I'm sure they could find a way to figure out who gets which one, maybe flip a coin? It would be interesting to find out who is the better parent because the starting point would be the same.