You've met a great-looking and mature person. At your first face-to-face chat over coffee they state they're had a successful sex change. At this point would you continue to date and think romantically, possibly physically, about the person?

Whoa..for me, the news would change a romantic relationship
but not a platonic one.

NO

I'm not attracted to conflict in personality.
At some point in that person's life they strongly believed they were something which they're not and took steps to change their nature instead of embracing what they are.

I feel the same about cross-dressers and the 'gay' persona.
I feel the same about anyone who tries to 'push' alternate genders.
I felt the same about Michael Jackson as well.

I may not be "PC" but I don't give a damn.
I'm not living my life trying to be something I'm not.

I detest liars. To me, that person would be a liar, a fake.

Phew, difficult question...
I think it would depend on how he -cos in my case it'd be a he- would walk, talk, behave, dress, etc etc.
In other words, how truly masculine is he? And does he make me feel like a masculine man would.

That's the first thing. Then, if I kept seeing him, I have no idea how I would end up feeling.
It'd be weird for sure as all his childhood photos would be of a girl. Maybe he even had kids before the change. That's kind of a weird thought.
And also... the ex would then be a bloke too. How hostile would he be? That would also be part of the decision. I have no desire to have an angry hostile stalker on my doorstep.

I truly honest to the goddess do not know 100% certain.

let's raise (as they say in the card game) the ante...

Suppose you are in love with the person and they reveal they want to undergo this change...or even deeper, you are married to the person and they reveal they want to undergo the change...(yes, I have met folks who have lived this scenario)

I would see it as both a betrayal to me AND a betrayal to themselves and I would question the love they claim to have for me. It would likely end the relationship, both as a trust issue and a failure of their personality (lies).
Again, that's my opinion and since I'm not running for office, I can own my views. I have no need to be "PC".

That's not nearly as difficult as the OP's question. This is a very clear "end of relationship".
I'm not a dyke, so if my man would want to become a woman there's no longer a future.
How things would go I don't know as even though it is NOT personal whatsoever it will feel as rejection. That's not the other's doing but your own ego, but knowing that won't make the feelings any easier.

But... I think I'd find that scenario easier than my man announcing he's gay. That would leave me with serious self-doubt, second guessing how long he'd been having those feelings, does that include when we were intimate, etc etc.

Yeeeah... I’m with Tom on this one. This issue is really one of psychological instability. Even in the so-called culture today, clinical psychologists diagnose this as a mental disorder. In the DSM-5 it’s called “gender dysphoria”. And in the case of already being married to someone who decides they want to be the other gender, it shows that they are uncomfortable in the relationship, which tells me that they weren’t committed to it.

I find this a crock of chit, no offense.
Homosexuality was also in the DSM until 1973 as a mental disorder. Doctors and Big Pharma aren't always right, as a matter of fact, when it comes to things like this they often aren't. I think the problem is that ego gets in the way.
Like telling a man about someone you know who's gay. They suddenly get all flustered and angry and upset, as if another man has touched them intimately.
That makes it easy to understand how homosexuality ended up in the DSM as a disorder.
I feel this is much the same.
It's lack of empathy, lots of judgement, and ego having a knee-jerk reaction.

What if someone has a male body but knows and feels he's a woman? I don't call that a mental disorder.
Apparently such things can happen by hormones not working right in the womb. Nothing the foetus -and later on adult trapped in the wrong body- can do anything about.
Nor is it a sign of mental instability.
If someone feels upset by someone like that, and that they've been lied to and so on, they likely are the ones with an instable personality.
Why should it be any skin of anyone's nose if another feels more at home in a different body?

And especially today where many of us are so steeped in hormones we should not get in our bodies in huge doses or at all, like via medicine, meat, birth control...
Hormones are what drives us, from feeling happy, hungry, wanting sex, feeling masculine/feminine, feeling sexy, feeling safe, and so on.
And because of what we are exposed to in our wonderful western societies this is so so easily messed up.
Nothing of that means these people have a disorder or instable.
I think you can't find a more stable person than someone who has had or wants a sex change. It's not like you can get that without much effort, examinations and having to wait many years often.
If someone like that ever had any doubt they'd probably cancel the whole thing.

Lesbians and gays people aren't instable and don't suffer from mental disorder, nor do people who want/ have had a sex change.
Homosexuality has been removed from DSM 47 yrs ago and should never have been in there either. I'm quite certain it will go the same with this phenomenon.
Fact most people don't understand, are too narrow-minded, have ego knee-jerk reactions doesn't make another person ill or instable.
I really cannot believe this kind of thinking, but alas...

I've had gay friends in the past and they were just normal people who preferred same sex.
Of those I knew, none of them would tolerate someone who is gay and acted queer. Those displays were insulting to them.

Personally, I prefer people who are what they are.
I don't understand someone feeling a different gender when they look in the mirror and see the gender they actually are.
To me, that is a lie they tell themselves.

Being politically correct is okay as long as it doesn't violate my own preferences and being with someone who was not a woman but had surgery and other unnatural actions to change that fact is a liar, plain and simple.
To me, they will always be a man and I will not try to get past that fact if it involves me intimately.

I would have very serious issues with a son who had such changes made or a daughter who had such changes made.
Thankfully, my children don't suffer from gender identity crisis.
I wouldn't care if your child, or anyone else's had such changes.
I don't care about anyone who has had such changes. As long as I am not intimate with that person, I couldn't care less.
A non-issue.

This thread asks how I would feel about it if it happened to me.
Not how I assess the idea of sex-changes.
Personally, No freaking way!

This isn’t about judgment or lack of empathy but about diagnosis. True, doctors/researchers often do get it wrong; I’m not saying they are the absolute authority that we must all agree with. Not by any means. However, in this case, I agree that gender dysphoria is an unnatural mental condition which disagrees with biology which, by definition, is an illness. Why call it something else? Changing our vocabulary to spare feelings is not productive; it’s untruthful. If someone suffers from psychopathy should we say that they are just exploring their place in society? You mentioned hormones disrupting the natural feeling of biological gender. It is always environmental conditions that create illness. Always. Many mental instabilities/illnesses are caused by hormone imbalances. Since hormones changed their mind but not their biological gender, then really it is not a case of being trapped in the wrong body but a case of being trapped in the wrong mind. None of this is narrow-mindedness, it is merely having a foundation of common sense for information filtration.

It's my ego.

I just couldn't handle dating anyone
whose penis may have been bigger than mine.

Hi mike if I agree to meet someone for a date it means I have a strong attraction to them and feel there is a possibility of a connection . I would treat the date as I would any other date. In terms of whether there would be a second date would depend on many factors .. including how much both of us enjoyed the date and whether we felt the attraction was worth investing further in . Perhaps he would not want a second date with me

To those claiming gender identity change is a disorder or mental health condition that is a very outdated stigmatising perception . If a diagnosis is made it is based on the distress caused by internal conflict /incongruemce .... It is in no way an indication that someone has a mental health disorder because they have a desire to change gender .

Biological variations existing in nature are considered with wonder . Yet many have blinkers on when it comes to diversity within the human race . Human conditioning is responsible for what we accept as normal ... thankfully that conditioning can be challenged and changed . Every individual has the right to pursue a life that is personal and meaningful to them , free from discrimination and stigma . Sadly for many that is not the case .

I know that there are a lot of people right now that are very sensitive about this issue, and I’m trying to be sensitive to that. So, I’d just like to try to explain again that as for me and what I’m saying, this isn’t about stigmatizing anyone or being prejudiced or unsympathetic. I’m very sympathetic about what they’re going through. It would be the same if they had OCD or autism or post nasal drip. When we recognize that someone suffers from a condition, no matter what that condition is, we aren’t making a qualitative judgment about them as a human being, and we aren’t castigating them or alienating them, we are merely acknowledging their state. Why is it considered insulting and narrow-minded to acknowledge that someone has mental health condition if they have gender dysphoria and not if they have Alzheimers? So again, there is no judgment or unkindness intended toward them, there is only acknowledgment.

I didn't think it was so difficult to understand.

Being healthy of mind and body and choosing the body of the other gender is not a disease and no mental disorder.
That idea is stigmatizing and that comes from someone's own perception which is based on ego.
You cannot compare that to a disease and/or personality disorder.

There is no evidence that wanting to change gender identity is a medical condition ... There is a lot about biology we do not understand . In nature organisms are born with both male and female sexual organs . It is considered a biological variation . In fact the same variation has been seen in humans . . What we consider normal is based on a limited biological norm ...whether we have a penis or vagina at birth . How we define gender at birth represents nothing more than a categorisation .. but that categorisation sets in play our place in the world in terms of gender .

Aldtrao . Do you think we know everything there is to know about genetics ??? Is it possible there is a genetic link when someone is born that overrides the influence of primary sexual characteristics ... and perception ... Is it fair to label someone with a mental disorder when in reality we do not understand the mechanisms at play. . ?

Can’t wait to read

Well, I guess all I can say is, if you ladies sincerely feel that you’re right about this, then that means we’re going to owe an apology to psychopaths for saying that they are ill, and to pedophiles, and to narcissists, and to people with Covid-19, and to people with mumps, bumps, bruises, and sprains if we ever said that any of them have damage that is impairing some ability that they would otherwise have.

But meanwhile, there is no use comparing human biology to the biology of frogs that can change gender. The frogs were designed to do that. They do it without surgery. They do it without effort and indeed without deciding to.

Humans are not frogs so to say that if the frog can do it we should feel natural about doing it too is silly. To say otherwise is not good sense making.

Birds can fly. I can’t because that isn’t how I was designed. That is good sense making.

Occasionally a human is born a hermaphrodite. It is EXTREMELY rare and it is the result of genetic damage. It isn’t that the person was designed to be a hermaphrodite, it happened as an accident of devolution of the genome.

And if a person feels like they should be the other gender it is the result of damaged brain chemistry.

So, I’ll only say this once more, and then I’m done: acknowledging that someone has a medical condition is not stigmatizing them. It is not failing to be inclusive. It is not ego or “hate speech” or anything else that the political agenda of the hour wants you to call it. It is absolutely no different than if I acknowledge the medical conditions that I have; and one person’s conditions, or lack thereof, do not make them superior to a person with the condition that people are currently sensitized to. These are all just things that we suffer, and we should try to have some empathy for people with any condition or abilities. It’s a fallen world, and the human genome is rapidly deteriorating. If we can’t even acknowledge the developments that result from this because we’re acting like sensitivity basket cases, then how are we ever going to attempt to fix the underlying environmental problems that caused the damage?

the medical diagnostic code for gender identity change has been removed as a mental health condition . Are you qualified to overturn that decision. .

What may be recognised as a mental health issue would be the symptoms of distress /anguish manifesting as self harm /suicidal ideation .. that may arise from facing such a transition .

Do you understand the difference ???

No.
It's our first "first face-to-face chat."

At that point I'm still thinking of simple basics.

Their saying they had a successful sex change would just highlight how different we are, completely and absolutely in terms of perspective, experience, and history, not to mention goals and lifestyle.

Like a woman that says "I used to be black and grew up in gangs and ghettos, but I went through surgeries and am now a upper middle economic class white lady."

Or someone that grew up in a billionaire household that just started living a "normal" income life.

Or a soldier that spent the last 10 years on deployment coming back to "normal society" for the first time.

They went through experiences and thought processes I probably won't ever understand or be able to relate to, and that's going to lead to all sorts of problems, misunderstandings, and make learning to communicate 10 times harder.

I won't seriously date women with fake boobs or tattoos, for what those say about their personality and thought process.
I can't imagine allllll of the issues going on with SRS involved.

But I don't have to.

There are more compatible options.

I might have sex with them, depending on how hot they are, just to see what that's like.
But I would never allow myself to "think romantically" (I'm assuming you're defining the term like long term relationship compatibility).