You ever play that card matching game where you lay out all 52 cards in the deck, face down, then flip one over, then flip over a second one to see if it matches, and if it doesn't then you flip them back face down and have to flip two more, trying to remember what you've flipped over and where the matches are?

The thrill of the chase comes from something like that.

When people are faced with a potential mate (in person, online picture, a story), some attraction, their body fills with hormones preparing them for sex. Men, women, doesn't matter.

The difference is what floods the body preparing it for sex directly and immediately influences a males brain (generally).
It affects his mood, mannerisms, posture. IOW his personality and his indirect communication. Body language, facial features, general disposition, etc.

It doesn't have that same immediate effect on women (generally). Women (generally) have natural protections for their brain from immediately succumbing to or influence of sex hormones. They're still there, preparing her for sex, it just doesn't immediately affect her brain.


So, when men see someone they are attracted to, it's like naturally flipping over the first card in that card game.
They then "chase" in order to figure out "do you match?" Trying to get the woman to flip over her "card," with how she responds and interacts determining whether the cards are alike.

Men present indirect communication, direct communication, status, and a wealth of information just by how they present themselves. How they dress, smile, tone of voice, posture, height, body shape/ratios, car they're in, job title, whatever.

It's an association game.
If a guy (through his personality, communication) can get her to start thinking about sex, mating, romantic thoughts, to even the slightest degree, that leads to those sex hormones in her body influencing her brain too, just like his.
Which will then influence her body language, facial expressions, general disposition, behavior, etc., just like the guy.
Basically, information and feedback.

Generally speaking, sex doesn't sell to the masses. You can't just throw up live porn on a car commercial and have it lead to a giant increase in car sales.
You have to play the association game to manipulate the triggers.

That's why there is a "chase."
Because of how certain hormonal situations affect men vs. how they affect women (generally).

A natural, biological game of "so where do we stand? Do you feel about me how I feel about you?"
And then attempts and negotiations to explore it.


That's one of the big problems with online dating and why it seems to be a huge race to the bottom and has become like a "shopping" experience.

For men, they just have to sign on at certain times and pepper hundreds+ women with their sex commercials. Unlike t.v., texts and email are cheap.
They just have to find 1 woman that is "in the mood."
They're not trying to sell cars for an ongoing business, just find the 1 fool and her money.
Where the sex hormones she's released but hasn't acted upon have reached her brain basically turning her into a guy looking to "scratch that itch," or who isn't actively focused on danger or thinking so can "turn" her mind allowing them in when triggered by a "hot enough" photo and non offensive charm.

People that are actually capable of (and ultimately looking for) long term goal oriented purposeful relationships go through this process, since they're human beings too.
But since there's a lack of body language, tone of voice, i.e. indirect communication, they have to focus on the more simplistic and obvious of feedback (most especially when there's a difference in group/culture identity).
Which means relying on immediate emotional impulse.

Otherwise, it's trying to remove emotions from the equation.
Which just leads to building up unrealistic fantasies.
When you meet offline everything fails. Partly or mostly due to you having removed/denied/ignored the actual emotions, realizing you don't really feel anything for the person, or don't know how to emotionally respond leading to insecure and fearful feelings or buried confusion.


You can translate this to:
"Guys flipped over their card, then either received feedback that we weren't a match in emotional status, or unclear information where they still didn't know for sure so kept trying until they received the feedback that we weren't."


It's self sustaining if there's a "match."
It becomes a feedback loop.


Sure.

A bit ill phrased maybe, but not wrong.
Women generally have better intuition -although in matters of love this tends to be impaired- than men. But men do have a very well developed sense of something being right or wrong. They may not be able to explain what is off, but they do get a feeling something is off. Then they move on.
This sense of 'off' is what I think was meant by 'lacking'.
It can be anything, for instance a woman being too needy, co-dependent, clingy, not standing on their own 2 feet, seeming to push for something prematurely (marriage, living together, a steady relationship) and so on.

So in that sense the writer of that was correct. Just that this 'evaluation' is mostly subconscious, and 'lacking' is the sense that something is off.

I date alot of women and besides falling in love with my x wife of twenty years once I sleep with them the thrill is over i find something wrong with all of them we do this because we aren't looking for love anymore been there done it let's hear it what about love best thing in world yes it is if your not the one working 80hours week so you can go see your family every few months or if don't have to pay for our five kids we have shoes food proms cars wedding yea its great until the shoes on other foot then it's like I want a devorce all that said im going to get as many women as i can and just have crazy hot sex no strings you don't like it stop sleeping with us feel me peace real talk

The title says a lot. The thrill of the chase. Some guys don't care for hunting, and running after their dinner. Farming was born from men deciding to raise their food, not run after it.

I get too many mixes signals from women. Now, machines can be obstinate. They can refuse to work correctly. In which case, it takes time to figure out the proper procedure to make them operate correctly. Machines will sit idly by, waiting for the proper input to make them work.

Women will not. They get impatient. They lost their operating manual long ago. And aren't big on letting you know you're doing it wrong. Until you lose a finger, or get injured in some way. It's like assuming a saw won't cut you. Get injured enough times, you'll eventually figure it out. Or stop going to the shed for that tool, and look for other ways to amuse yourself. In the meantime, that saw falls into disrepair. It rusts up, or just refuses to work anymore.

I stopped going to the shed. I'll work with what available. I might go look at it once in a while. But never touch it because I know I'll get injured again.

But men got jet packs don’t forget that

interesting

Yeah ..but it's not always dear ..Naette

Absolutely.....my dearrrrr

Sometimes the chase never ends

keep someone hungry too long and they grow thin.

No chase here. I just come out and ask straight up. If he dilly dallies...not my man and not my speed/flow.

hai

Aww, try messaging her. So cute x

the thrill of a good chase is absent on this site ....people , i believe , have become serious about finding that soulmate.... which is fine , but have fun while doing that.. is all I am saying ....

I think it only seems that way because people aren't having that click, that chemistry.
I have seen that happen on here though, have experienced it myself too, and then you do get the chase, the flirting, the buzz, between two people.

crystal is right .., I have seen chemistry on mingle plenty of times and have experienced it myself .. when two people click it is usually very obvious

the flirting the buzz the chemistry is just not happening as often as it was before , this pandemic.... is all I am saying ...
i dont see the click happening ....even though i Experienced it a couple times before ha ha !!!!

So true

The current situation might have to do with it. What I notice everywhere is that it has shifted people's focus, and in most cases not for the better.
Apart from that, it is also quieter than it used to be everywhere online on all social media, including on Mingle.
There seems to be less cohesion between people, and you see this in society as well.
So you may have a good point!

exactly Crystal.... you put my thoughts into words every one will understand !
not only has it gotten quieter in society and on dating sites, but people are being cautious to the extent of boring!!!
probably, thinking that, since we have plenty of time on our hands now.....lets take it slow ..... not realizing that the clock is just ticking away, as we get shorter of breadth , and another day closer to death huh!!!!