This joke is primarily for residents of the UK, but for American visitors, please substitute the word JAM with JELLY.

At a family get-together my nephew took me aside and asked me for advice. I said, "Sure go ahead".

He said, "Uncle, I am having trouble putting my penis where it is supposed to go, with my wife Gail".

I told him, "There is nothing to worry about, Run down to the pharmacy and buy a jar of vaseline. When you get it home, scoop out the vaseline and put it into a jam jar. Then you can keep it, no lid required, in the cupboard beside the bed. When the occasion arises, all you do is take the jar out of the cupboard, single handed, and twist the contents all over your penis and you'll have no more problems".

I could see that my words had caused my nephew to be quizzicle. He said, "Really, uncle, can you get your penis into a jam jar?"