I suffer from depression, and panic attack. I'll been carring this illness for six years. I lost my job because of it, I was force to retired in 2001. when I think I have it beat, it creeps back. madication only helps a little, my mind is racing as I'm typing this. I wish I hade a time machine to go back in time,when I was happy. I will continue to fight,and I hope everybody with this illness, continue to fight also. I want to wish everybody a Happy Holiday.

Try Lexapro 5MG, Works great for me. Lots of ppl been raving about it with minor side effects. But trust me, I know your pain.

Hi,

I am so sorry you have to experience depression. No one knows until they have been there. I was diagnosed with bi polar disorder with anxiety disorder when I was 24 and I am now 45. The only thing that keeps me going when I am depressed is that my LOGICAL mind knows that it doesn't last forever. I also lost my job because of it. Have you tried SS disability? They may be able to help. You need a good Dr. who really cares and can find the right "elixor" for you.

Good Luck,

Silvermoonring

The question becomes, "How do you want to treat it?".

If its a malfunction of the brain then medications are available.

Whether it's a malfunction or not you still need to work through it each moment of the day until suddenly you realize you are not doing things that effect your social, psychological, physical wellbeing.

You must believe in yourself to get through it.

Your profile indicates you want to meet a woman for freindship. You might find strength in going to group counseling and you may meet someone to walk and talk to that will help you both.

How many years do you have left to really "LIVE". Enjoy each day whether it rains or shines.

Take these words as support which should make you realize your not alone and therefore supported by others including myself.

Good luck,

John

About 6 years ago I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder.. which is:

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a serious mental illness characterized by pervasive instability in moods, interpersonal relationships, self-image, and behavior. This instability often disrupts family and work life, long-term planning, and the individual's sense of self-identity. Originally thought to be at the "borderline" of psychosis, people with BPD suffer from a disorder of emotion regulation. While less well known than schizophrenia or bipolar disorder (manic-depressive illness), BPD is more common, affecting 2 percent of adults, mostly young women. There is a high rate of self-injury without suicide intent, as well as a significant rate of suicide attempts and completed suicide in severe cases. Patients often need extensive mental health services, and account for 20 percent of psychiatric hospitalizations. Yet, with help, many improve over time and are eventually able to lead productive lives.

The psychiatrist prescribed me script after script but I refused to take the meds.. mostly because I hate pills and drugs- fda approved or not lol. I work in a pharmacy now & see so many people who are taking such pointless medications.. but that's just my opinion.. I'm not a doctor lol.

I was never a happy person.. I still hate people lol but I realized that in order to get ahead in life I had to suck it up.. and basically faked my happiness and was able to make friends and become social and now I'm in college and have a job that I like & where I work I have been promoted several times already just because I was able to put that sh!t behind me.

There are times where I want to lock myself away and tell the world to "f'uck off" and there's times where I want to do some pretty crazy sh!t.. it's a daily struggle.. some days are easy and some are not. I guess I have a lot of willpower to have made it this far.

You gotta know that you're the only one who can make yourself happy.. and in finding happiness you will overcome anything. Find something you enjoy and do it often...
...for me that's my art work and bowling.. if I'm having a sh!tty week I hit the lanes and improve my game. When I don't have the time to go bowling I take over the studio's at my college.. I am an art major haha so it helps.

Have a Happy Holiday

Thanks everybody for the replies. with me is a on and off thing, I am seeing a couple of doctor's, I lost control sometime's. I will never give up, my mind fell like I have a on and off switch that's automatic.I feel like I been in a coma for six years, and finally I'm starting to wake up.I'm a lot better now, than six years ago. I just can't believe I lost my job,It's been a while. again thank you for the feedback and support, best wishes to all.

Are you still in shock over losing your job? I lost my job 10 years ago and it was the best thing that ever happened to me. I am in a totally different line of work happier than ever. Things do get better and the panic...you need to try whatever works for you. There are so many great meds and they are all hit or miss. You need to find the right one or combination of meds. They are not for everyone but if you had to retire I would think they were pretty severe. Keep up the good work and try to think positive. Best wishes to you.

Thank you Cutiepie, I'm doing olot better last couple of day. The panic happen's once in a while,I'm olot better now than six year's ago. best wishes to you,Happy Holidays.

Depression sucks! Trust me I know first hand. And the worst part is I can not take medication it will just make my situation worse. But there have been many of days I sat in my bed crying and screaming and pulling at my hair. Listening to my i-Pod with the loudest song possible just trying to drown out my own thoughts. Even sleeping away my days cause I feel if I am sleeping I can not feel the pain of anything. Then there are days I just do not want to get out of bed. My doctor gave me some ant depressants but I refuse to take them. One of the siede effects is could cause thoughts of suicide. And well I have not had those thoughts yet and never do want them. I wish I could give you advice on how to deal with it. But I can't, when I am not even sure how to handle it some days. But I have found when I am really down that going over to a friend's house or just being around people that care for me helps a lot. Just keeping yourself busy to try to keep your mind off of things could e a suggestion as well.

Hey JRod, sorry you're going through depression. Like others & yourself, I've been there to. Holidays seem to bring it on more than any other time of the year.
I'm on Lexapro also but did do counseling & now am into counseling others. So, try this out. Look back into your past & see if there is anyone you haven't forgiven for something they have hurt you about. It's not that you are giving them permission to hurt you again, it's getting yourself free from the bondage of unforgiveness. They don't even have to know they are forgiven. You can forgive someone without reconciling the relationship. A good way to do this is to set up a chair in front of you, without any noise, treat that chair like it was the person who hurt you & tell them how they hurt you & that you are going to forgive them. Cry if you have to; it's okay & part of the process of forgiving.
Another thing you need to work on is negatives. There is no doubt you are saying negatives about yourself. For each negative try saying 5 positives about yourself like; you're a caring person, you are responsible, you take care of yourself, things as such. This will take some work on your part because like me, you have to relearn your way of thinking.
Let me know how it goes & if I can help you out in any other way. Oh, if you consume alcohol, stop. It's a depressant.
I'm standing with you in this.
T mie

Having good mood doing anything is expected for health. Facing situations, rigid senses only may collapse the person, but at a motivated sense, being one for good animate trying to maintain is beneficial.

We should still try to keep up no matter what. When facing adversity the problem should not over come for you are more then the problem, and importance is as much as you make it.

Tell me as you want to tell me.

I think to ambition right. Up right.

Giddy Up
Be Safe

Call me whatever you may.

this may help

http://www.justsayhi.com/topic/show/59142

yes i have known a couple people with panic disorder that lead to depression

and yes it sucks

I meant to post last nite. I have adult ADD I never outgrew it.I take lexapro now. i did 20 yrs. of paxil and zoloft which didn't help me focus as well. I also do therapy once a week for 30 min.
and u take 1 day at a time.

JRod u just have to keep on fighting and don't stop cuz that when u go down. so keep on fighting.

We share the same problem.
I've left multiple jobs in the past simply due to panic attacks.
I was diagnosed at a very early age, and I still fight it till this day.

Take care of yourself, man.

I used to fight depression, but a combination of Lithium and Lexapro cured me. Talk to your doctor about your options!

Thank you, to everbody that responded. I'm doing a lot better these days. I been working out and eating healthy, keeping myself busy. I feel a big deffrence, just got to keep going, I'll be ok. I notice there's a lot of good people on this site, may god bless you all. your the best.

hope ur doing better doc added wellbutrin to my list of meds i have to take now.good luck & peace be with u.

Antidepressants are just like any other meds. They have POSSIBLE side effects. It is rare for the serious side effects to take place, otherwise the drugs would be off the market. Apparently they help more people than they harm. If you get a bad side effect from one med, there are several others your Dr. can prescribe. I should know, I have tried just about everyone out there and in multiple combinations. Luckily I have never had any serious side effects, but unfortunately they just don't seem to work very well for me. Right now I am seeing a neuropsychiatrist who is doing alot of lab tests and such to see what other options might work for me. For treatment resistant depression, the next steps could be a Vagus Nerve Stimulator or even ECT. I've been depressed my whole life and I am ready to do whatever it takes to get rid of this disease.