Kntrygirl - have you tried some of the calming teas like chamomile or some of the ones they advertise in the health food store?? I take clonazepam for sleep, only 1 mg, but docs don't like you to take this long term, only intermittently.

Karen - hope you are doing well and school is great.

Jax - good to see you with a smile. Hope things are back to normal, no more sick youngun at home.

Roy - "don't answer the phone" repeat after me "don't answer the phone." That was dirty pool, having your friend call you to trick you. Guess they don't understand burnout and you need some private time and personal space too.

Amber - hope you are feeling better after getting your tooth fixed, always feels better, and so much better when you don't have to dread going to the dentist anymore because it is all over with.

Debbie - all sedatives are strong. It depends on your body's reaction to it, what other medicines you may be on and whether it will mix with them or not, but all sedatives are strong. Any drug you put in your body is a foreign substance to your body and is mind altering to a degree, it numbs your body or changes chemicals in your body, and it affects the way you feel, your mood, but all sedatives are strong and need to be used with great caution.

didn't get that tooth pulled after all, they wanted an extra 40 bucks for the damn x ray............it was more than i had so i walked out

Welcome back, Marie. It is still snowing here. I guess it started early this morning. Was off last night and was watching "Pitch Black", "Dark Fury" and "The Chronicles Of Rid****". I kind of like that line from the movie, "You get to keep what you kill." The water pump is pumping water, again. I checked the pump house and the 150 watt light bulb was still on and the heating wire was still on the pvc line coming out from the pump. I figure the waterline must have froze on the way to the house. I am ready for winter to be over. It is sure pretty and white outside, though. I hope Scottie can come over today and help me get the lineoleum laid down so I can put the washer and dryer back in. Two days to payday and I have managed to keep back a 100 dollars. I have a few teeth that need to be pulled but they are not hurting now. I am going to gather some clothes together and going over to Mom's so I will have some clean clothes this week. I am going to take the dirt way over so I don't get the car in the ditch. I plan to get the debit card payday to get my satellite dish turned back on. I hope everyone has a good day.

Good morning everyone! Vin Deisel's Rid**** movies are really good! I wish everyone a really great day!

since you guys know me pretty well, I was wondering if you guys could answer something for me?

Why am I always so scared?

"since you guys know me pretty well, I was wondering if you guys could answer something for me?

Why am I always so scared?"

Hi Classyjeff

Is it fright or anxiety?

I have always had a fear of the unknown, Jeff. Fear doesn't necessary always have to be a bad thing. Like guilt it can be a motivator. I have found when I take just anything to the extreme it can cause me problems. Some people can watch scary movies and it doesn't bother them. During my time when my grief was the worse I found through the support group that naming the fear helped. I guess I will always have a fear of heights. But the fear of the dark I have some control over. I like the wording of our basic text when it talks about a thousand forms of fear whether real or imagined. I had to watch my fear poetry when I was deep in the grief stages because I would wind up scaring the holy crap out myself. It is good to know one's limitations. I found that out when I putting up amateur radio antennas and my fear of heights. I have so many phobias. I hope you are not afraid to share yours.

jeff..that sounds like anxiety to me and a wee bit of fear of change.A little fear is normal cause lets face it life is a scary,wonderful ride.Just try and enjoy it as much as you can.
Well everyone my son got himself kicked out of his daycare so now I have to rearrange my schedule at work.
Like I'm not enough trouble after being written up again for absenteeism cause I stayed home with him when he was sick.
4 more months then summer vacation.........

amber that sucks..i take it you have no insurance.
roy i have a fear of heights,closed in places ,loud noises and the fact i will die without ever having sex again.
hello cleo
thanx marie.its nice he isn't sick but now he is up to his old tricks hope you are doing better.
karen hope you are doing better also..
hugs to all jax

I still have a fear of closed in spaces - claustaphobia, Jax. But the wide open spaces - agraphobia was grief related. Wide open spaces doesn't bother me now. Which is good because that had a direct affect on my isolating. I don't isolate today which has helped my claustaphobia. My little dog likes it that I go outside because she really loves to run. I can't wait for warmer weather to try her out with the frisbee. I have a white frisbee and it must be under the snow somewhere. I don't really like loud noises either. Real quiet out in the boonies. Sometimes too quiet. Was nice spending time with my Mom this morning. Got many loads of laundry washed, dried and then hung up now. My friend Scottie was snowed in on his road and couldn't make it to work. Just got a call from the director of nursing. Some people do have legitimate reasons for not going to work. I am thankful that I have been able to go to work even though I have sure overdone it at times. Atleast you are trying to rearrange your schedule. That shows some real maturity.

I answered the phone. I punched in at 10:21 and punched out at 10:24. Sheila gave me a hug then Jennifer gave me hug. Best three minutes I ever worked. The nurse shouldn't asked if I was sure the second time.

i just dont know
i had a interview today and it didn't go well
i did get some criticism on how i interview though which is good
the thing though is .. i dont know if i was right for the job anyway cause it was kinda cubical land again

Hope everyone is having a good week. I am laying low for a bit. Things not going well with a friend and I am trying to help support her daughter as much as I can. Really wiped me out today. (Came home feeling like I had been run over by a truck - but was just some really stressful telephone calls from her daughter and talking to a nurse at the hospital who let some news slip.) Now my dad is acting out too, after my aunt died, his last sibling, he has decided he wants to change nursing homes to one in our old home town, about 30 miles away from here. I suspect he is "homesick" as he lived there the majority of his life and his sister dying has made him homesick for what his life used to be like. But the town is nothing like it used to be, many of the old friends are dead, etc. He has friends in the aides and nurses in this home and I really don't want to start driving to that town 3 times a week to take him meals on top of everything else. Plus the traffic is unreal for a small town and him in his electric wheelchair, this small town traffic isn't bad and people are used to seeing him so he is safer. I hope this blows over and he gets over it. So, when do I get to check into the nursing home and have people wait on me and bring me 3 meals a day and not have to deal with my job and all the crap??? Doesn't sound so bad some days.

Sorry for venting, but today has been really crappy. Thanks for listening, you guys are the best. Take care and hang in there. Things have to get better, I have been scraping the bottom of the barrel so long I am underneath it now so gotta go up, right??

When you are ready for a laugh and I am not so tired, I will fill you in on the trip to Portland for the memorial and the "rental" van - another wonderful story.

Take care.

I heart you!

Thank you.

((((marie)))) sounds like you sorely need a vaction and we are here to listen and support. love ya's! You vent anytiome you want. You've been under some extreme stress........hugs!

Morning everyone -- still having a hard time finding a job; but I'm trying very hard to stay hopeful. Thank God I'm sober with a program of recovery behind me.

it's good to have a good support program twitch.....

no jax i don't have any insurance.....at least not right now, i'm waiting to hear from social security bout my disability claim

i feel so sad today and i dont know why, been crying

Hi Peeps,

(((coco))) haven't seen you around much, sorry you are feeling so sad. Can you think of any reason or trigger why? I know people don't have to have a reason to be sad but here is a great big (((HUG)))

(((Amber))), sorry to hear about your dentist appt. Was hoping you could get something done about it. Problems with your teeth can be a real b1tch. Hope you can find a way to get it taken care of and that you can get on disablility. I know how hard that is and can take a long time. I had to fight like hell for it. Dont' give up.

(((Twich))), I hope you can find a job soon. And I'm glad to hear you have a support system.

(((Jeff))), sounds like Roy and Jax have some good advise. Hope things get better and maybe you can identify what is really bothing you to the point where you are feeling so insecure.

(((Jax))) I'm glad to hear he is feeling better, and sorry that you have to go through the acting out thing. I had to home school my son a few times due to the same problems. Hope you can work things out with your job and not have to give it up like I did. I'm glad they knocked you out and you got that tooth fixed up. Do you feel better?

(((Marie))) I do hope that you can get some kind of rest be it mental and or physical. And that you can get some relief. Write anytime, well any of you write anytime.

(((Roy))) glad to hear that you have things taken care of or are taking care of hahaha. You always have something so positive to say and a giggle most of the time. I hope you can get that washer and dryer back in. Don't you just love going to moms house to do laundry?

I'm not doing well, but I think things are looking up soon I hope. I'm trying to keep myself together. I'm still waiting on the insurance to come through for the meds the Dr prescribed a week ago. Can't try to get better if I can't follow Dr instructions, so I'm sticking t the old routine until then.

I have finacial help now for the time being and my dad, sneak that he is left 100 bucks in my fridge last night. I found it after they went back to the campground where they have thier trailer parked. I called him and called him a sneak. We laughed. He said it looked like I needed some stuff in there, lol.

They came bearing gifts. A lovely blue lapidary polished worry stone, a large 2" orbed tiger eye, a braclet and a very strange and wonderful witch doctor mask from Indonisia.....hand carved and very scarey and the jaw hinges and everything.

Much to good for halloween. Im going to take it to schoool. It is a work of art. Maybe I will take a pic of it and post it for a while. It looks good next to my candles and crystal ball. I look like I live in a witch doctors house hahaha. Gypsy should love this one, hahaha.

Lubya's. I keep everyone in prayer everyday.

Karen

Been having the chills all day. My temp was 103. Nurse sent me home. I was there about 2 hours. She gave me three Ibuprofen. I am glad I have so much sick time build up. Just going to get some stick on tile to do the bathroom. I am so ready to get the washer and dryer back in. Mom was compassionate. I appreciated that, Karen. I still have to pick up two more loads of laundry. I waited to the last minute and there sure was a lot of it. Got to sweat this stuff out. I think I have a slight fever. Glad I got the gas on the way to home. Payday tomorrow. I wouldn't wish this stuff I got on my worse enemy. Coughing up phelgm and got the chills. I am going to turn the heater up and put another blanket on the bed.