HI all, MOmmyof1, I know exactly how you feel. My daughter quit a very good job (after putting her daughter thru college) so she could go back to school to get another degree in something else and has not been able to find work of any kind. This is a lady that was making over $200,000 a yr. She is "over qualified" for everything. After living in Salt Lake city for a yr and no work, she moved to Denver hoping to find work there.Its pretty bad when you have a college degree and your over qualified to work in a book store.
I just want to say that I had at total breakdown at age 23. I was 2 months pregnant with my 4th child. I was hospitalized for 12 days and had 7 electroshock treatments. After I got discharged I was on all kinds of meds. Either up or down. Finally got off everything and it took me 2 yrs to become "normal"(whatever that is)again. After that, I promised myself never to go there again but I do run in a 5 yrs cycle and I have to go and get help. Last yr was a real bummer for ma as I lost my husband and my mom within 7 mo. and just about hit bottom again. But I'm back and doing good!! Planning a cross country move to Montana in June and hoping to make some new friends there. Talking about it to someone helps so hang in there and stay on here and let you friends help you thru it! I'm here if anyone wants to chat about it.

HI all, MOmmyof1, I know exactly how you feel. My daughter quit a very good job (after putting her daughter thru college) so she could go back to school to get another degree in something else and has not been able to find work of any kind. This is a lady that was making over $200,000 a yr. She is "over qualified" for everything. After living in Salt Lake city for a yr and no work, she moved to Denver hoping to find work there.Its pretty bad when you have a college degree and your over qualified to work in a book store.
I just want to say that I had at total breakdown at age 23. I was 2 months pregnant with my 4th child. I was hospitalized for 12 days and had 7 electroshock treatments. After I got discharged I was on all kinds of meds. Either up or down. Finally got off everything and it took me 2 yrs to become "normal"(whatever that is)again. After that, I promised myself never to go there again but I do run in a 5 yrs cycle and I have to go and get help. Last yr was a real bummer for ma as I lost my husband and my mom within 7 mo. and just about hit bottom again. But I'm back and doing good!! Planning a cross country move to Montana in June and hoping to make some new friends there. Talking about it to someone helps so hang in there and stay on here and let you friends help you thru it! I'm here if anyone wants to chat about it.

hi make it and welcome.marie ask the nursing home if they could give your Dad a mild sedative so he will be calm during the ride.I would take him though .Sorry about your aunt and hope the house goes thru.

Karen you are a whirlwind.you deserve a good breakdown lol
Mommy have you tried temp agencies?they have benefits and sometimes if the company likes you,they will offer you a job.My ex started as a temp at Lonza and worked his way to permanent status.He's been there about 10 yrs.Temp agencies are a great resource and free for the employee.
mssilverfox good luck in Montana !!you deserve it.
Roy Dora is annoying lol

Yeah, but Dora is so cute, Jax. I guess what made think of Dora the explorer was when the aide and I were changing this one resident. We had the resident turned towards her and she looked up towards me with those big Dora the explorer eyes. Then she said, "I can't believe he is patting my butt." All I could think was well maybe he is trying to find your backpack.

oh my.

First off, who the hell is Dora, and who else thinks these effing ads in the forums is taking this a bit too far?

ok, so I'm meeting this guy from this site on Friday....(insert nail biting smilie here) and we have been communicating through email, text, phone and chat for a few weeks. He knows Im bi polar and he knows Im eccentric.......he knows Im a chatterbox and I cant seem to find the nerve to bow out. I really like him and he knows it, but he doesnt talk much on the phone and he travels all the time. And I mean almost everyday and next week he is going to SF, then out to Indio for two weeks then out to New Orleans to visit his aunt. He just got back from an 8 week tour with Hollyword on ice and he's taking off again right after we meet. I just don't know if I can keep up with him or deal with him being gone all the time. I cant just up and go with him, even if he asked. I don't know what to do. HELP!

go on the date.at the very least you'll have a nice night out with a cool guy...good luck to you...

(((JAX))) I can't help it. The last three dates Iwent on were dates from helllllll. They always seem nice enough, but then disaster time. And no where to run. Sighhhhhh, guess I can bow out. I have a good excuse cuz of school. Im just gun shy.

Izzie - what happened. I am sorry I was not on, I was out on the phone. My aunt is dying and I have been making family telephone calls. Please e-mail me if you want to talk. I am heading for bed now but will check in in the morning. I hope things get better for you soon. Take care of yourself.

Karen - go on the date, it may be great, you never know. If he is gone for periods of time, you would have time to work on your art projects and he wouldn't be harassing you about not spending time with him, could be perfect for right now while you are busy with school, just a thought.

Jax - thanks for the idea, don't think we will go see my aunt until her memorial and then my cousin wants a ride so he will likely behave himself, with company in the car. But will see what his doc says if he is having a hard time, but he is 6'3" and about 300 pounds and needs a wheelchair to move around, don't know that I want him sedated if we have to try to move him in or out of a vehicle. But good idea. Thanks.

Makeitstop - sorry no one was on to talk to you - we all work different shifts and apparently everyone was busy at the time you were on. Evening is usually a good time to catch people on here. Sorry no one talked to you, don't give us, we really are a good bunch of people. Hope things get better for you.

Misssilver - welcome back and good luck on your planned move. Sounds like you have things under control. Good words of advice. Take care.

My aunt is making her "good-bye" calls so I am calling family to tell them to contact her if they want to talk to her. One cousin tonight I have only talked to to tell my mom was dead and then my brother had died (she lives in Alaska) and I called her a couple of nights ago, when I talked to her tonight she said she told her daughter I called and her daughter said "Oh God, now what?" I said, "it is nice to know I am thought of as the plague" and we laughed about it and decided we would talk more often and talked for a good hour catching up on things. Decided life was too short to only talk when someone is dying. Heck, I have been invited to visit Alaska now, would love to go there some day, who knows. Just hate making these calls though, but seems I have a pretty good list of phone numbers from doing it and people call me now when they want to get ahold of one of the relatives or an address. The house sale finally closed today so I am officially a home owner, only took what 3 months??? But, after all the hoops to jump through and all the hassle, it finally happened - damn, now my payment goes up $300 or so a month, not sure I like that idea. But have all the paperwork lined up now in case something happens to my dad, so greedy brother can't give me crap and try to take the house away from me, I have been paying for it since 2003, but didn't have the paperwork legally in my name, now it is, so worthless baby brother can "bite me."

Hope you are all having a good week.

Izzie - hope things get better fast.

Take care guys. Get your dryer fixed Roy, way too cold to hang your underwear on the clothes line to dry now.

Vocational Rehab called today, while i was at work. the guy from there wanted to try and find out if i was at the other place still.. Not cause he cares, but becuase it has been 3 months and if i was still there, he could write up a little piece of paper that says he is done with me and never have to talk to me again. I haven't told him what happened yet. Why should i bother, once he realized that i have skills that can overcome my disability (ie he couldn't just throw me at a job at wally world). It pisses me off that he couldn't help, but all the help he ever had to offer was to go and move into a ghetto in the city and hope someone hires me. He never tryed to gain any assitance from iowa workforce until i had to complain about it 3 times. He kept saying oh we have someone who goes down there once a week, They are 2 blocks away, thats not even counting phone/email. But no the place didn't work out and i don't know what i am going to do and i have a ton of student loans that sooner or later will want to be payed and my future is scary as ****.

I am also feeling the alone's again. I don't think most people realize how it is to be me lately. I am not looking for pity or anything. But it is hard to be in my situation. Even when i am around people (maybe its my job stuff seeping in or i am just thinking about other things.) i feel alone. It is scary. I am trying to strive on jesus but i am afraid that i am walking up a icy path and going to slip and fall into despair again.

wow Jeff, sounds like the Voc Rehab in my state, I've been trying to contact this one rep that goes to the MHC every Friday, so far she has never even tried to call or anything. My therapist has sent her numerous emails about me and still nothing.

gtg y'all i decorated for one of my niece's birthday party and a friggin balloon just popped off.................grrrrrrrrrr

balloons are fun

well i think they believe that if they cant stick ya somewhere like walmart that they should try and push ya onto someone else

Thanks Marie

oh yeah, i forgot to mention i bombed the jeopardy test.........

SOrry to hear amber, but no worries. Im sure you are a very intelligent person....

Ive been getting worse. Maybe I am going through a mixed state and have been ultra sensitive. I got three insults today at school. Started this morning, then two this afternoon, one being from my teacher which I didn't expeact at all.

She said, " I wasn't at the meeting when they made the decision to hand out the scholarship, so you just got real lucky"...pftttt I retorted, " Maybe I'm just talented!"

That was the easiest one to deal with. The other was a new teacher who lets me in the studio in the mornings so I can stay warm until my 9 am class. We were talking and he said they probably wouldn't have given me the scholarship if they had known I didn't have to pay tutiton. I told him I resented that and if I couldn't afford tuition then what amkes him think I can afford supplies? He kept trying to make excuses and I wouldn't let him off hte hook. I will not trust him again.

The 3rd was a lady who has been in the art program for about 5 yrs......she is bi polar and has sad and ptsd......8 yrs in the army. That makes for a bad attitude but she does know what she is doing.But she just refuses to take meds, so she can be a realy bear to deal with. At least I know how to deal with her.

I volunteered to go to Oakland again to get rocks for the class to carve. Only two pwoplw signed up and I asked what if only the two wanted stone? This woman piped up with, " Well, I seem to remember that you volunteered to go!" I reotorted with, " I volunteered to go, not pay for the damned gas!!!" I said I didnt have to money to make up for 100 bucks in gas for two people, and no where did it say that I had the money to do so. She knows how things are for me and was just being a *****. I seem to have gotten on her nerves the last few days.

I walked away. I feel like they are placating me and I hate that!
Like Im a child they have to watch out for. Pisses me off and I dont plan ofn talking to anyone there anymore about any of my personal things or about anything they might think is being insecure.

Im a big girl and I know that I just want to know what is going on...........seems now that I don't want to hold a gov position in the club I don't count and am not "in with them".....screw this. I jsut wont participate anymore. Just cuz Im not holding a position, and I told them fromt he beging that I didnt, they block me out now. I seem to have no say, so after this next meeting I quit.

Memebers have the right to know what is going on in the gov part too. This whole thing sucks and all I want to do now is just go and do my work and not talk to anyone.

thanks karen for listening earlier
don't let new teachers get ya down

Karen - sorry they are getting to you. Sounded like a stupid thing to say, you wouldn't get the scholarship if they knew you weren't paying tuition, people paying tuition have access to the money to pay for the supplies too. Sounds like he shot off his mouth without thinking about what he was saying. Sounds like maybe they are stressed and just not thinking, who knows what is going on in their lives too. Try to let it roll off your back, it is not easy, I know, but don't let it eat at you. You do have real talent and keep your focus on your talent, don't let this other crap interfere with your work, that is what is really important. Let things calm down and get back to normal. You do such a great job in all that you accomplish with the challenges you face daily with your bipolar disease. Things will get better, I know they will.

sanek!!!!!

snake!!!!!
i hate him!!!!
yet i love him....

ggggggggrtrrrrrrrrrrrrr........