You REALLY know you're from Italian when........
Author unknown

You're a 5'4" male, can bench-press 325 pounds, shave twice a day, and still cry when your mother yells at you.
You carry your lunch in a produce bag because you can't fit 2 mortadella "sangwiches", 4 oranges, 2 bananas and pizzelles into a regular paper lunch bag.
Your father owns 5 houses, has $300,000 in the bank, but still drives a '76 black Mercury.
Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, tailor, barber, accountant and travel agent all have "THE" in their name. ie: (Sam "the" electrician or Pete The Barber)
You consider dunking a pack of Stella D'Oro "S" cookies in milk as a nutritious breakfast.
You live in a 900 square foot bungalow, but still have 2 kitchens (one in the basement).
Your 2 best friends are your cousin and your brother-in-law's brother-in-law.
You are a VIP at more than 4 after hours clubs.
You have at least 5 cousins living in the same town or street. All 5 of these cousins are named after your grandfather or grandmother.
A high school diploma and 1 year of community college has earned you the title of "professor" among your aunts.
You are on a first name basis with at least 8 banquet hall owners.
You only get one good shave from a disposable razor.
If someone in your family grows beyond 5'9", it is presumed his mother had an affair.
There were more than 28 people in your bridal party.
You netted more than $50,000 at your First Communion.
And you REALLY, REALLY know you're Italian when...

You eat Sunday dinner at 1:00pm.
You know what a riceball really is.
You have pasta on Sundays and Thursdays.
On Christmas Eve...only fish.
You have a gold chain with a cross and your horn.
You pick up a baseball bat kept behind the back door, when you hear a suspicious noise during the night.
Your Mama's meatballs are the best.
Your favorite movies are: Godfather, Goodfellas, Bronx Tale, The Last Don and Moonstruck.
You've been hit with a wooden spoon or had a shoe thrown at you.
Plastic on the furniture is normal.
You know how to pronounce "manicotti."
You've called someone a "mamaluke."
You own a Pinky Ring, and you understand, "Bada Bing, Bada Boom"

Don't you mean Italy? Haha sorry I had to....

it's ok she's italy

ok typo or maybe just a little broken English

It's ok tonia, I have had a few drinks and in a joking mood... Don't worry about your english, if you can type that you are an A+ in my book!!

actually i cheated that was cut and paste...

But you still use great english in your responses! I lived with a Peruvian and a Portuguese last year, the fact that you can form the statements in the way you do is great stuff.

On another note I always wanted to learn Italian but my college doesn't teach it!

Some of my best friends growing up were Italian...When you said about the 2 kitchens in the house and one is in the basement,that brought back some great memories.One time i went to my one buddies house. His mama asked me if i was hungry? I told her no thank you, I wasn`t hungry. His mama looked like I hit her with a baseball bat. My buddy took me outside and told me: Ed, when my mama asks you if you want something to eat, you eat. He told me that I had offended his mama. I went back in the house and told his mama, that yes I would like to have something to eat..She broke into a great big grin and gave me the best lasagna I ever had...I learned a tradition that day, and yes my buddy`s mom had 2 kitchens in the house. You guessed it the second kitchen was in the basement.

Another buddy of mine that is Italian, when we were kids, we knew when his mama was making Pizzelles. We would hang out in the back yard like a pack of dogs begging for them. Of course she only made them one at a time because she used a pizzelle iron, and thats the only way you could make them. Geeze, I miss those days.

I was born here... And I love America and wouldn't live anywhere else... but The lack of tradition kills me.... And the longer u live here the more those days just become a memory and not a reality.... that is what I miss....

i am full blooded Italian Sicilian

and while some of the things you mentioned
may be correct in some families
certainly not in all of of them

and i do not appreciate many of the comments

i think they are derogatory

and other cultures certainly
stick up for their heritage

and i am here defending my integrity
and my family's heritage

oh please
not funny

my brother is 6 feet two
because of good eating
and healthy exercise
not heredity
and certainly not because of the
unscrupulous accusations made here...

poor excuse for a joke
on someone's elses' behalf.

My Dad was 6 feet tall in his prime...
my Son is 6 feet tall
good eating.. healthy strong genes
we are trim and healthy
we are also very intelligent
and have lots of class and integrity

we do not behave or speak inappropriately
as this other poster suggests

how dare anyone make statements like that...

oh, if it was another more aggressive culture or group

that was being put down or criticized or laughed at
we would not hear the bloody end of it

did ya hear about the protest by italian americans to end hollywood movies stereotyping them as gangsters? they said "if this doesnt stop somebodys gonna get hurt!"

I kid I kid
I'm a jew so some italian can post a good jew joke if theyre very offended
ive noticed that jewish mothers n catholic mothers r almost the same thing heh

tonia, i'm assuming is italian, otherwise such insensative statements wouldbe more insensative

I am Italian. I grew up with my grandmother and we had pasta of some shape at every dinner. My favorite was the stuffed artichokes. Then after dinner we had coffee and talked for hours. Those were the days.

now what id like 2 know is if Italians from italy consider it ok for america-italians 2 say stuff like that.... hmmmmm?

thank you

i remember stuffed artichokes

yummy

They are both Italian.

i don't know if she is Italian or not,

Lizard King


but, you see my comments ...

If she is Italian,
she needs to be made aware of all
the many splendid artistic contributions
and accomplishments of the Italian people,
and truly respect her ancestors

not paint us out to be anything
other than the proud people we are


and if she is not Italian

she needs to be more loving, knowledgable
and respectful to other people's cultures
and not make other nationalities
the brunt of her sick humor

the first joke is very cute ...and true

i try to be careful and respectful of other people's cultures..

and people like George Carlin can get away with ranking on people, cause he ranks on everyone including himself...

Rapunzel... If u r offended I don't know what to tell u.... I am not appologizing... I and many of my Italian friends found nothing but humor from this...

If this offends u I am sure that with the freedom of speach that we are granted by living here... well It will not be the first or last time... Relax....