I've noticed a marked increase in the number of "Why do all men _____________ ?" posts lately, and it occurred to me that the considerate thing to do would be to find a way to circumvent all the ladies having to do so much typing every time they find it necessary to overgeneralize.

With that in mind, I have formulated the "List Of Complaints," which goes something like this:

Why do all men.....

1. play games?

2. just want sex?

3. put their friends before their wives/girlfriends?

4. leave the toilet seat up?

5. get drunk all the time?

6. want their wives/girlfriends to support them?

7. cheat?

8. refuse to buy feminine hygiene products for their wives/girlfriends?

9. make rude comments about their wives’/girlfriends’ weight or appearance?

10. drive like idiots?

11. flirt with other girls in the presence of their wives/girlfriends?

12. refuse to help with the housework?

13. spend all day watching sports on TV?

14. miss the toilet?

15. drink milk out of the carton?

16. forget every significant birthday and anniversary?

17. hate their wives’/girlfriends’ friends and family?

18. eat like pigs?

19. spend the afternoon in the garage working on a carburetor?

20. refuse to go to church?

21. think golf is more important than their relationships?

22. spend too much time at work?

23. put the empty milk carton back in the fridge?

24. refuse to watch Oprah?

25. wear pants so low that their butt crack is visible?

26. leave their dirty socks on the floor?

27. pay more attention to the dog than to the wife/girlfriend and kids?

28. make slurpy noises when a cute girl walks by?

29. only go shopping when they need a new hammer?

30. think “foreplay” means eating chili?

Please print a copy of this list; then, the next time you find it necessary to overgeneralize, just post "Why do all men #14?" instead of typing out "Why do all men miss the toilet?"

It will save you time, and save JSH a lot of bandwidth, which, as we all know, is desperately needed for the far more relevant "Person Above You" threads.

Thank you for your time.

Lex strikes again!!!!

thanks lex...some of those are what make you men sooooo endearing though

and i'll answer all of them so you don't even have to past.


1. play games? cuz damn-it candy land is fun!!!

2. just want sex? it beats sleeping....

3. put their friends before their wives/girlfriends? friends buy beer, wives buy sewing machines

4. leave the toilet seat up? it's easier to hit the target in the dark that way

5. get drunk all the time? beats sleeping

6. want their wives/girlfriends to support them? becasue we supported ourselves long enough! it's about time somebody else does some work for a change!

7. cheat? cuz candy land is hard!!!!

8. refuse to buy feminine hygiene products for their wives/girlfriends? because the grocery store is the woman's domain

9. make rude comments about their wives’/girlfriends’ weight or appearance? it's only rude if it's not true i.e. if the shoe fits the half ton foot......

10. drive like idiots? we drive just fine, it's everybody else who drives like idiots!

11. flirt with other girls in the presence of their wives/girlfriends? is there something wrong with a 3some?

12. refuse to help with the housework? i don't see you helping out with the yard work!

13. spend all day watching sports on TV? beats sleeping

14. miss the toilet? shoulda left the toilet seat up huh?

15. drink milk out of the carton? you complain about not doing dishes then when i make sure not to dirty anything i don't have to you complain even more!

16. forget every significant birthday and anniversary? did i forget my birthday?????

17. hate their wives’/girlfriends’ friends and family? what have they done for me lately?

18. eat like pigs? quicker i get done the less dirty the plate and the less dishes you have to do right?

19. spend the afternoon in the garage working on a carburetor? you complain if i don't work then you complain if i do sheesh!

20. refuse to go to church? i'm just gonna sleep there, so why not stay home and sleep where i don't disturb the rest of the church goers?

21. think golf is more important than their relationships? have you seen tiger woods play?!?!?!?!

22. spend too much time at work? once agian work don't work, make up your damned mind!

23. put the empty milk carton back in the fridge? recycling!

24. refuse to watch Oprah? she never gets naked

25. wear pants so low that their butt crack is visible? i thought you wanted foreplay???????

26. leave their dirty socks on the floor?they'll stink up the dirty close basket if i put them in there and that will just make laundry all the harder for you

27. pay more attention to the dog than to the wife/girlfriend and kids?
when you fetch a ball you can play too!
28. make slurpy noises when a cute girl walks by? you b!tch when i drool!!!!!

29. only go shopping when they need a new hammer? the grocery store is your domain, the hardware store is ours and you told me to go shopping!!!!

30. think “foreplay” means eating chili? it's not foreplay, it's just giving us energy for foreplay.

Here's a pat answer for every question right up the same alley as the silly loaded and cocked and ready to fire make me mad and madder dumb pointless and insinuative and snidely put pet peeves.


A. cuz we can.


tada!!!!!

Did we use up our macho for the day????

More like for the rest of the MONTH, I'm thinking....!

lex is da man .!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LMAO... the list was too funny and the answers were hilarious.

@ Lex

thanks lex.. this single thread pretty much cought me up on EVERYTHING that has been going on in the last month since i been on.. teeheehee....

It's true, 74% of all the posts in the past month have been "Why do all men ______________ ?"

The other 26% are "Would you pour paint thinner on the person above you?" threads and such....

im not so good at math..but does that equal 104% teeheehee..

Iz, are you SURE you're not a Florida election judge....?

nope im the assistant manager over the cashiers, and accounting office!!

teeheehee...
not the best plan ever, but they were low on options i guess.. teeheehee.


never been to florida...
i hear the weather is snowy this time of year..

(or so i tell myself so i am not so cold here.. )

Oh my GOD! I do all those things!!!

That's why there's that hidden microphone in your kitchen....

Oh oh I know the answer to one of the questions


Its why do men miss the toliet?

Its the milkman's fault since he quit delivering to home the bottle milk, moms now have no way of training their sons on how to pee into a bottle with a tiny opening

not that well hidden...either that, or i'm just an exibitionist...hell, i LOVE the attention...