Who fits the description of having a pleasant personality, at least reasonably average or higher intelligence, clean, normally dressed, adequate financially, decent looks, good health.....and yet, in spite of all these traits that are at least average or even better, you Social life is a disaster with extremely few real friends???? If this applies to you, as it does me, we probably know the cause. It might be dedication to an all consuming job, it might be an alternative life style that doesn’t fly where you live, it might be a past embarrassment that is not an issue anymore but took years to live it down and hampered you4 social life for many years. The cause does not really matter ( unless it has to do with an evil or illegal or very weird
activity you might secretly pursue...which, by the way, I myself do not )....what matters is simply the fact that this does apply to you and finding a compatible MATCH is very difficult.

I know what you mean and agree with everything you say.

Sometimes our standards are way too high. Reading what you just wrote is considered critical to the reader. Sometimes we are critical to scare people off on purpose because deep inside we are afraid of the unknown. Proper wording is hard, I for one scare people off on purpose in this place because I know what is really here.

Yes, recognize that. In my case it's mostly the "don't fit in where I live/ alternative life-style doesn't fly over here" kind of thing.
It's cliquish over here. I know plenty of people but I don't really resonate with them. Much has to do with this being a religious area where I am New Age/energy worker/Lightworker.
But even when leaving that out of the equation, they don't really open up and allow you in their ranks. As an outsider, not from this province, you always remain in the outer circle. Even after 16 years I'm not used to that. Where I'm from people are more warm, open, inviting, easy going, and they DO allow new people in their circles.
This province is known for being difficult with newcomers. Religious (farmer) people tend to be like that.

Used to have some friends, but since end of 2016 none anymore. I'm not even looking to find a romantic match here.

I think a lot of people know what is really here, Greenerpastures!! I mean there are some decent people on here. What annoys me most is I send a nice message introducing myself to someone I like and get no reply at all and they do not even view my profile. I put it down to playing games or just plain ignorance!!!

SparklingCrystal. I have met the people you describe, as you say they have their own clique, don't want you here or know you routine. I give them one chance to be pleasant and if they're aren't, I never bother with them again not even give them the time of day!! Like my last post about ignorance, you can add snobbery, but they are no better than other people they just think the are.

Men! Don't forget that women naturally test men; regardless if they plan it or aren't even aware they do it. It's a fact.
No need to defend on this one ladies, it's just nature.

I rather have one or two good friends, who I can rely on. Being popular never bothered me.

Sometimes, it's just great fun, to out-redneck
the rednecks.

If we do, it's like the same as what men do and based on primal instincts to produce the strongest offspring.
If it's anything else it's mind games and BS. And men do that just the same. Tactics used by the genders may vary, but that's it.
So often men state things that they feel women do a lot, then when they come up with examples it's the exact same thing women get lavished upon them by men.

Haha, made me laugh. I am not going to ask what that means though, lol

Oh, it's not that people are unpleasant. It's just that people are different in every area and in this province people are cliquish. Most ppl in this province have lived here all their life, it's all small scale, islands & peninsulas. Now these are all connected by large bridges so you don't notice so much, but it's still small scale and backwater county. Everyone knows everyone, grew up together, even if they're from different villages they were at the same secondary school since there is only 1, went to the same popular pubs and so on.
I'm not from here, people in the province I'm from are different. Can still have cliques, you get that everywhere, but they don't exclude newcomers from other areas.
People here can still be nice & pleasant, but since I'm an outsider it always remains superficial, the outer circle.

Rednecks? Everybody who is not from Dublin is a redneck. And there is so many ideas to have a laugh at them But then, it's a PG 13 site, so I rather say nothing

It means, absolutely nothing mean or derogatory.
(yeah, i know, *Surprise!* )

In Dublin, the word is "culchie".
And, from Gaelic to English, it doesn't
exactly translate to "redneck".

It seems more difficult to make good friends as we get older.

I’m lucky because I still have the friends I made when I was 19 or 20. You can count your True friends on one hand.

I wont claim that I have exactly that kind of problem, but I have enough.

I've reached the point where I see the whole mate-search almost mathematically. I visualize it as a combination of arcs of peoples lives (their lessons and remaining or newfound hopes), with the circumstances of existence itself.

As I experienced various things with mates in the past, I learned about my own limits, and about how to watch for limits in others. Things I knew that I needed a mate to enjoy or believe in, things that I knew I liked, that limited who could enjoy me.

Age has its effect as well...when we are very young, all sorts of physical activities, and much more important, physical risks, are easy to take on, often because we don't realize yet how they will limit our futures.

As we experience more, life is often similar to walking through a full-size maze, where you aren't allowed to backtrack. As we go through it, some avenues and opportunities close forever behind us, and fewer and fewer possibilities are available ahead. We can easily end up in a place where there is no option to go where we want, we can only go where the maze is still open.

In the world of mating, that means that although I may be fine and dandy as a match for lots of women, unless one of them chances to be in a part of the maze that I can still reach, it doesn't matter.

In the end, being a "great guy" is less than half the game won. We have to be THE "great guy" that the "great gal" we have come to recognize we must demand (due to our own limitations) wants, AND we have to be close enough to make things work.

And each and every quirk we have, or that our lives has delivered us into, slices off that many more possible mates.

It never becomes hopeless, but I think it's wise to recognize and accept that whereas as kids, we imagined that we could have a good time with dozens if not hundreds of nearby people, that if that was really ever true, it sure as hell isn't true anymore, and never will be.

It's not a good thing or a bad thing or a tragic thing, it's just a REAL thing.

People in Dublin say redneck as well. Or muclah ... dunno if it's spelt correctly. But it contains the gaelic word 'muc'. Which means pig

Yes, me I think
I have been marooned by the rapist, despicable laws, and the notion that I'm supposed to accept that I have an incurable brain disease that doesn't actually exisist
This makes any form of relationship or conversation quite impossible, and leads to a very lonely frustrated miserable existence

indeed, hihi