Yeah I've met a few men who thought that they could start "advising" me. I have issues with people who want to control me, being in a marriage that was like that so now if a man starts to think that ima going to listen to them ( especially when we just dating) well that's pretty much a goodbye for them, thank you, next

My ex (from the 80's) was one of those controlling types..he wanted someone he could tell what to do, and they'd do it..

Luckily I met two good men after him, my lsate husband, and the long-term I had before him..
Neither one of them were about control, telling me what to do, etc..
It should be a *partnership*...two people pulling together..not one ruling over the other..

*IF* somneone want that kind of relationship where they are subserviant...that's fine..it ain't my life..

Yeah , the oh little oh helpless me syndrome, I personally don't care for anyone that tries to manipulate another person with that . ( male or female).

And again...I really don't see the need for "protection"..
The only guys *I* have ever known to go on about that "protection" crap were the types that belived the man was the head of th household, and had the final say in everything.

I am not engaging in any risky activities where i might need "protection"..

Sure, people get robbed at convinience stores, mugged in parking lots...break ins to their house..
But the overall chances of any one of those happening is infinitesimally small, and certainly not something I worry about on a day to day basis.

The *pnly* time i could have used some "protection" was when I was date raped back some 40 years ago...

This is a testament to how individuals are different. I actually quite prefer the male 'provider/protector' type. Chances are not so high of danger coming upon us, but id like to think if it did, he would be the type to be able to respond instinctively rather than freeze or cower.

Absolutely, msharmony..
That should go without saying/ be a guy's MO in such a situtation.

But I guess it's like those guys who have to *procalim*/ keep telling people what a "nice guy"/ gentleman they are..

If you TRULY are a "nice guy/ gentlman..it will be plenty evident in your behaviour...
No need to yammer on about it to try and convince people of it..

Same way with this "protect" crap..
He should be wired that way to start with.....not use it as a selling point..
I guess that's what I have the issue with..

Right on point , if You are a nice guy you shouldn't have to tell everybody same with being a Christian people should be able to see your light shine without telling everyone from the get go. And as far as a man protecting from physical threat that's not control that's being a stand up guy

Yes! I am very independent and it is so hard to find anyone that is even closely as independent as me! I want a strong woman that can handle herself when I am not around and won't be blowing up your phone, cause you been away to long!

No.Codependence is unhealthy. Interdependence is perfect.

your absolutely right ... I wish for all the young to understand this ...

they never talked about Independence when I was younger ... thought living with two men raising me most of my life... showed me a great deal about independence ... very hard and wish I had learned more about it ... try to teach it now ... runs in one ear and out the other ... lol but we have to live our lives I guess to learn for our selves ... my B*tch is their selling these kids in collage professions that don't exist to much anymore... thats another reason there is know jobs for them when they get out ... and they have such collage debts ... and is not their fault ... but they sure know how to blame them ... every kid that goes to collage should be guaranteed a jobs when they get out ... but they pull the wool over their eyes to rip them off ... so they can not have independence
like they should ...

It's almost like it is a ploy to keep them in debt the rest of their lives...
It's really sad.

I agree...if there are no real jobs in the field you're shelling out thousands for...they should give you a refund..
It's like...they get their money...they know there's no hope of most getting anything *close* to what they are told their degree will be good for...and they're like "pffft...ain't our probelm..."

We need to come up with a better way....have motre trining programs for jpobs that *actually* exist and they can get...

it's so sad it's no longer like it was yeard ago...office jobs or factory jobs or store manager jobs that one could be ay for *years*, and build a life...

where are you now living

Too much independence is real, and can be a curse.
I was a boy scout, learned survival skills, hunting, cooking, camping, lived semi-rural so became independent and resourceful early on. Hearing mum's call to come home was only good if I was hungry.
I've had a girl I loved tell me I was too independent and she wouldn't be with me.
Having been taught to fend for myself, and never living with a partner, I've become more independent by necessity, because no one will be doing anything for me - anything.
And besides that, who CAN you depend on, I don't know anyone, except me.

If I was to become dependent on someone else, I would feel like a failure at life, with an impairment. An even bigger impairment than being too independent.

I totally get that...

My mom should have never had a kid..there's actually a thing called "CEN"..Childjhood Emotional Neglect..

As my dad was gone all the time (he was in sales and traveled)...I was basically left to fend fpor myself gfrom an ealry age..
My mom didn't work until i was 12..yet after the first few months of first grade..she never got up with me, or saw me off too school..

Emotional support?
Don't make me laugh..
My dad, God bless him, was as supportive as he *could* be (and I was thankful for that)....but he shouldn't have had a kid with (but, that's what people did back in the late 50's-early 60's)

My point is..I have been independant since I was a kid...because if you can't depend on your mom as a kid...well...

Now....with a *partner* that is sincere, and serious about me, loves me...all that?
I have no issue being an equal partner...supporting them...building a life together..
(as i did with my late husband, and the man before him)

But for the average person, aquaintences, or faux friends....nah....
I'll just be over here doing my own thing...

Oh, you say....you may be ruling out one of those ^ as a potential friend/ partner..

Darlin'...if you can't understand the difference as I have explained it...well....I can explain it *again*, but I can't understand it for you.

I hate the feminist movement it makes me want to barf 🤢...I have old fashioned values when it comes to this subject I like to be taken care of loved and protected and in no way want to try to be stronger etc than my man but too each it’s own if there’s men out there that want that there’s someone for everyone

Spent years trying to take care of one and help her become a responsible, independent woman. It was a waste of time, effort, and caused unnecessary stress. Better off alone!!!

There was a feminist saying in the 70s: "A man of quality is not threatened by a woman of equality". Still true.

Not a thing wrong with being Independent.

Too many are confusing being Independent with Controlling and being a Work Alcoholic. Totally different Topics~~~

I was brought up to be Independent due to a single Dad having to raise my brother and I after my mom passed away when we were babies...

It is the one thing I made sure I taught my kids as well was to be Independent..

Which is to be able to handle situations that come up, and to be able to take care of themselves..