I'm good with who I am.



Okay... I'll give a definition of a "bad boy".

A bad boy, is a wannabe tough guy,
whose azz I kicked, the night I stole
his girlfriend.

These are all really good points, great discussion!

"If my family, friends, and most importantly,
"enemies", concur that I'm an a-hole?
that's the ultimate success.
No self improvement needed. "

This is powerful and I believe it's used by a lot of people to not take responsibility for their own self improvement and/or choice to be who they are portraying themselves to be. "Everyone agrees that I am a certain way, therefore that's who I am".... BS!

On the other hand it's a great gauge to recognize the need for change if you are taking stock in your behavior and actions towards others. If you think you're a super "nice" dude/dudette but everyone around you sees the opposite then perhaps you're in denial and need to look deeper.

Ultimately what matters is how I see myself and if I am okay with what I see. How others see me can be useful as a tool/gauge to see if what I am wanting to portray is successful or not. Depending on those findings, I may or may not want to make some changes.

First the 'bad boys' that are players. They are attractive cos they're confident (not necessarily in looks). They don't even pretend to not be players, many want them regardless. I think cos they're subconsciously mistaken for alpha males -they do have similar 'markers'- and because of that make women want to be with them as it's primal instinct to want to be with the alpha male.


I think the real 'bad boys' are the ones who pretend to be 'commitment material' and seriously interested in you as a woman. They lead you one, sometimes years on end, but never truly commit, and they don't intend to ever do so either.
Some may even have several women they're entertaining.
These I do consider real bad boys, the first type not so much as you can smell and see a mile away they're not for real.
With this 2nd type you don't so easily spot it as they're smooth talkers, very manipulative, and make out to really genuinely care and love you. At the same time they are using you just the same.

Perhaps some or one of you can come up with an answer I would be willing to consider..or maybe not..What exactly is this committed thing you all keep talking about..why does one have to be MARRIED to you to be considered committed..who exactly makes up these rules that the Tombs should follow..One can surely be committed without being married..and let's face it marriage doesn't guarantee anything..so what is the point..I have never been married but by no means that doesn't mean I wasn't committed..Do any of you think that maybe it's best to leave well enough alone ..rather than risk losing the relationship by saying one must marry them...How many married men aren't really committed or cheat..maybe it's best to be happy with what one has..Who says we have to be married any way..who is it that says the Tombs must live by this rule..because like yea ..that's not gonna happen..and hasn't....I think if you're with someone either you're committed or not that little piece of paper guarantees ..nothing..jmo..

How many women want this teddy bear?



Or this one



Or this one

^^^ No thanks Tom. I'd rather have this guy...

No thank you, Although they are all cute.
I prefer a real gentleman.

Bad bear Bad bear whatcha gonna do..whatcha gonna do when he comes for you...

Run for the Hills

Pause for a second... then run for the hills

:

Every woman has her Own preference.


I prefer to be married if I live with Any man.

I prefer a Legal Commitment with paperwork!

A man can be committed to a woman without marriage Yes !

I have high Morals !

There are both bad girls and bad boys on the street.....But getting to date them might be good something cause you might be protected by them.......

Was it said that committing means marrying?
Committing means you really go for the other person, intending to spend your life with them, make plans for the future and so on.
Not committing would be the opposite, staying together because it's easy, offers company, sex, and so on, it's fun, it's okay, but that's it. Not feeling you really want to spend your life with that person, in a way more like a FWB.
Many are like that, even when they do move in with you, do call you their 'girlfriend' and introduce you to family and so on.
So the relationship appears to be the same, just that the intention is not.
There's care and love, but not feelings of being in love, having found that one special person, and as such also not committing to them, just enjoying the ease and pleasure this connection offers you.

The horrible thing is that often the woman in such a situation is under impression he is committed, and sometimes after years of living together he meets someone he does fall in love with, wants to build a future with -a real one-, and leaves her, devastated and heart-broken, not understanding WTF happened...

Marriage doesn't really have anything to do with it as you can marry without being committed or live together fully committed but not married.

Wanting marriage is preference these days -thank the gods for that!!
I would want to, provided it really feels right.
And not to bind a man to me so he cannot leave me. That BS, we all know that. For me it's more like making that statement that you really go for one another heart & soul and wanting to have that officially declared as well.
It's more of a soul / heart craving.
Some may not understand or want/need that, that's okay. Like I said, personal preference, and thank goodness we have the freedom of choice :)

Had my fill of guys with one toe out the door...always looking for "a better offer", so-to-speak...and excuse their cheating with "well, we
ain't married.."

All the while saying to my face we were serious, commited, etc..

So, yes, if I am going to be involved with someone long term, i would want to be married.
That way..if it *does* go south, at least I have legal recourse for my assets and what i brought in to the marriage..

If we're just living together...that is not the case.

And, no..I don't mean alimony...I don't mean I'm taking him to the cleaners..
I just want *my* contribution protected...like, if we buy a house together...or I spend money to improve the place..or whatever..

When my ex and I divorced in the late 80's....I took what i came with, had bought while married, and my half of the equity in the house we bought
together...
*He* filed..had cheated multi[ple times, wanted to marry this one..so, I had good cause (according to some) to "take him to the cleaners"...

But, I am a better person than that...and got my assets...and considered it good riddance.

So question would someone be considered a bad boy if they street race for fun? Because I have a passion for street racing, but yeah at the same time I wouldn't consider myself a bad boy. I mean yeah when it comes to dating I have dirty minded intentions but that is normal for guys is it not. but as regard for rules and law and just as a certain lifestyle I wouldn't consider myself a bad boy. But I don't know why don't you guys be the judge.

To be honest, each time I see "Bad Boy" I think of the movie, hihi.
"Now THAT'S how you're supposed to drive!!" --> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hAUbdHw8QG4
Danged love that movie