I just finished a long term relationship of 5 years 18 months ago but just about finished a recent one of a year long and found the emotion of being in love was the love making I ever had and the climax was 10 better too. I never felt in love with my last partner and just didn't experience the same or similar feelings that I had with the 5 years old relationship.

Therefore I ask myself.....Is sex better while in love or just the same without love, even though the answer seems obvious.....but is it.

It is complex because sex is complex. It involves at LEAST two thing. The physical sensation and the emotional impact.

The physical sensation is purely anatomical, anyone who knows someone else's body well enough could stimulate those sensations EXCEPT for the emotional boundaries that might prevent it.

I could be blindfolded. and have a person I may not normally be 'attracted to' do all the things that anatomically 'turn me on'. without the visual and emotional conditioned boundaries interfering, that would be JUST as stimulating as an encounter with someone I could see who fit my visual turn ons.

And likewise, on the emotional conditioned side, if someone has stimulated my interest by fulfilling those needs and expectations, it can heighten the anatomical stimulation much more than if they have not.

So I guess the answer is that there MAY be virtually no difference if one is not in their own head and ONLY paying attention to their anatomy. BUT there can be a world of difference if, as in most cases, one HAS gone into their head as well and used that emotional fulfillment to heighten their experience.

Love may make a big difference or no difference at all, depending on how an individual experiences the sex (purely anatomically or not)

I think it depends on what you are expecting to accomplish with the sex.

If you make love to someone to share pleasure and bond intimately it is something different than having sex to get off.

To figure it out ask yourself; "Am I focused on my pleasure or theirs?"
Do you feel closer to the other person or are you isolated?

Personally, I prefer making love with a woman more than just having sex.
That's because I care about the women I make love with.
Making love starts long before the sex and continues long after the sex.
The sex acts are a personal expression of my love for her and hers for me.

There is a school of thought, that to be a good lover
you must learn to be selfish first.

When in love, one is less selfish.
So it could go either way.

The true intimacy of mind and heart for me.

Doesn't really matter. It's a poor and pointless comparison.

Did you know masturbating only releases about 10% of the same level of feel good chemicals as sex does?

In the middle of masturbating are you really thinking "gee, you know what? Sex would feel better...damn, this feels just horrible, I'm going to stop and just focus all my time on having sex," then go masturbationless for weeks, months, years, until you find someone, date, build a relationship, and then when you're having sex say "gee, the only thing on my mind now is how much better this is than masturbating! I have thought about nothing else at all!"

Do you see a lot of people constantly talking about how bad people are for masturbating?



Please please please video tape those conversations.
1. "Hi, I know this is our first date, but do you mind if we have sex tonight, and then fall in love and have sex? ...I'm trying to figure something out...."
2. "You know what honey? I think I love you. Sex is as pleasurable as it was with the girl I was in a 5 year relationship with, and so much better than that chick I dumped before you! I kept notes so this is an informed opinion!"
or
3. "You know what honey? I'm sorry, I just don't think I love you. Sex isn't as good as it was when I was in love. So what do you think? I don't think we should call it quits. Do you think you could do something else? Like wear a maid or chicken outfit or something? You gotta step it up and make it more pleasurable..."

I would really enjoy seeing the look on their faces...


You're a different person when in love.
Might as well ask "is working better when you love your job? Or is it the same when you've taken a position to keep from losing the house?"
Or maybe "why was it more pleasurable to eat tons of junk food as a kid, but as an adult it feels better to eat healthy?"
Hormones are different, situation is different, you're different.
So ultimately it's comparing apples to oranges.

Personally, it's love or nothing for me at this point. I need the mental stimulation as much, if not more than the physical.

I agree 1000%.

A good lover always puts their partner's pleasure before their own. When both do this, that is the ultimate lovemaking! Sex improves when you have sex with the same partner in that you learn how they respond to your stimulus and what pleases them.

It seems that some people need that emotional connection so they can feel justified in having sex. They generally are incapable or unwilling to have sex for the pleasure of sex itself.

yep, this is me..I don't like it without feelings. I can't rap my mind around it without commitment and love.

Sex without love is just minimal instant satisfaction.

That is if you have a. Good sxx parnter.

Absolutely not!!!! There are a boat loads of stuff you wouldn't want to do with the one you "love ". Ergo it cannot be better duh

"ergo" <<< such a sophisticated vocabulary for a forum


total response:

Touche lol

oh, now "touche`"

I'm going to call you wordmeister.

It's fine as long as you do it on all fours lol

Just a release of endorphins if done right...

Maybe multiple releases if you're lucky...

My 2 cents

Hi

hi