You don't have to burn bridges, just ignore them and don't cross the river or whatever; or go down the track a bit to another bridge not harboring trolls or toll booths.
That way you haven't directly dissed someone, but they may get the message via your enduring absence, and you don't have to put up with . . . .

Eh.....pretty much standard info....just like that wise proverb of "Man who pees on fence will receive shocking news".

and possibly a felony in Arizona and the people democratic republic of California

Ever since this was posted I don't understand, nor that people agree with not burning bridges.
Burning bridges is doing something that makes it impossible to return to an earlier state.
As I see it that has nothing to do with having a bad breakup or not being in touch anymore with an ex if there's a need for it? It's just closing the door on ever coming back together --> the earlier state.

Don't tell me you all keep that door open while trying to move on with your life and find new love?

When I break up with someone, that bridge to going back together is burnt. Doesn't mean it's an easy process, doesn't mean it was a bad or nasty breakup.
But getting back with an ex -which is that earlier state- is simply impossible.
I don't think it is advisable to live that way (not burning them) cos it'd mean you're never going to be ready for new love. You'd then always keep a door open for an ex to come back.

Maybe you interpret 'burning your bridges' differently.

As for not love-related... sometimes it's still best to burn a bridge completely. I think many don't dare close a door on something/someone out of fear, but new doors cannot open unless you close the old ones.

Great point CrystalFairy


I like to keep an open mind about the nature of people.
See the thing is, I chose them in the first place so there was obviously something that attracted me to them.
When I end a relationship its usually because their personality wasn't what I was hoping for. A conflict of preference occurred or some level of deceit.
In other words, a personality conflict but I still think they are sexy and I still find their mannerisms appealing.

I know that I have changed my personality over the years. If I can do it, others can too. If I burn that bridge, it isolates/removes the possibility that she might change her ways in the future allowing us to have another go at it.
The only exception to this is my X and that bridge is nuked.

Relationships are good sometimes. Even better than a person's future meetings with another. Nothing wrong with not burning a bridge. It's all about Choices and sometimes that's Best choice for Some people.

I do erect certain barriers on the bridges, I just don't burn the bridge down.

It will be quite a bit harder to rekindle a relationship but it might not be impossible.

If you live in a small town, it's best not to burn bridges.

People can change; hope for change coupled with distance/time may not be so bad.

Benefit of the doubt, and second (wary) chances may not be so bad.

I suppose it depends on how badly you have been hurt, and how much future pain you can endure.

I tend to just quietly walk away and not make a fuss; leaving the door open, but never entering it again.

I just won't bother with a person anymore as opposed to burning a bridge. I won't say anything bad about them and I will wish them the best. I just won't bother with them anymore.

I was taught and I do believe in " taking the high road" and I have found that it works better then burning a bridge.

I found out the hard way that people don't change. I usually let the other person burn the bridge. I just stay on the other side of it.

You can't 'un'say anything. You can cover it up but the words are already spoken and heard. You can apologize but the feelings have already been felt.

You can't really 'un'do the things you do to hurt someone. The action has already been taken and the hurt was already felt. You can apologize and try to replace that action with a favorable action but you can't 'un'do the action already done.

When a relationship goes bad, someone is usually hurt or offended.
They tend to lash out and say or do things they normally wouldn't.
The bridges get burned down.

I've found that I can control the things I say and do so I don't hurt the other.
The best strategy is to say nothing, do nothing.
This is having emotional control.

Many times, people have hard breakups because they are hurt that the other person is not who they wanted them to be. The failure is not in the other person but in themselves for thinking another human being can be anything other than who they are.
Betrayal hurts worse when you are not expecting it.
Betrayal of love, dedication and commitment makes people mad and spiteful.
They tunnel vision everything instead of looking at the reality of the situation.
Things get done and said that have no fix. Bridges get burned down.

You can end a relationship with someone without hurting them if you realize that they are not your creation and are not here on this planet to serve your idea of who you think they should be.
You cared about that person enough to enter into a romantic relationship intimately so why would you put them down for them being themselves?

What is wrong with thanking them for being part of your life and giving them compliments on their best qualities and wishing them luck in finding someone right for them?
Are you a vindictive person or are you the good, honest and thoughtful person you think you are? Will they remember the love you showed them or the hate? What does that say about you to others?

very well said tom. i agree wholeheartedly.
i've been on both sides of this and as i've gotten older and wiser i sit much more firmly on this side of the bank.
it's a lot easier to do if you've chosen your chances for relationships more wisely.
i think a lot of people forget that just because people realize that the relationship that they'd hoped for didn't work out, or that they can't really figure out how to live with each other (if they get that far) that they can still appreciate one another for and be friends.

of course, if they DO turn out to be liars and con artists i still reserve the right to burn that sucker if i so deem it wise!

I never heard the part "you might have to go back across."

And I've usually heard/used it as a statement.
"You've/I burned that bridge," never heard it said to me "Never burn a bridge," or, "Don't burn your bridges."



I think with today's technology it's easier than ever to both burn and mend bridges (not to mention create new ones), making the "figure of speech" have less meaning and value.