It seems lately guys want to go straight for a relationship. What's wrong with taking some time to find out compatiblity? Guys is the rush for a relationship because you want those benefits started?

Totally Agree with you,, what ever happened to just old fashion dating.. Now day's men seem to think that dating means a sexual hook up for some reason... I miss the days of just dating spending time with someone and getting to know them before intimacy ever happens ...

those Bastards!!!!

🤦‍♀️

Seriously.

Some guys, not all by a long shot are in it for one reason.. sex. They don't want to forge a relationship and have no intension of ( to a lesser degree, so women too)

But you gals know this and can pick up on it fast. There is also no shortage of men who do want to forge a relationship and ones that sex is not the driving factor.

The key there is that they don't hound you.. pestered you or pressure you, just the opposite, you are in fact the one who initiate things... and it grows from there.

Those are the keepers.

I just want a few dates of the guy being charming before the pressure starts.

Glad I’m not the only one who notices the change in the single guys their behavior.
I understand what you mean when you say “ a few dates of him just being charming “ .
I don’t want to bind myself to someone so quickly either. I prefer keeping my options open. I know myself : once the novelty of the dating partner wears off, I start to look around again. I always have this problem. I can’t count my blesses when staying with one person. After a few days I miss the adventure that comes with being single.
Guys these days - don’t know if it’s also that way with guys your age - want to know who is texting you, why you are taking so long to answer, why you are not looking happy when you are on a date with them, why you were talking to the guy from the table next to you in the restaurant, they start immediately wanting sex, ask your taste in furniture ( really happened ) as if we are going to live together or something.
One guy even told me that he didn’t like that I would still be studying for 4 more years. As if I was going to change my life choices for a person I barely knew 3 weeks.
I hate all the presumptions that come with dating. All the expectations. I wish there was something like cuddle buddies or so. Like friends with benefits but without the sex. Sex is too exhausting after a while. Cuddling gives you energy. But guys always want sex.

Before I was married every relationship I had been in was initiated after we hung out together and decided we both wanted more.
In high school we knew each other from school, in college we knew each other from parties or events/classes, In the service, we knew each other from activities while on liberty. I met my X thru hanging with a friend on liberty at the beach, he was in a relationship her sister.

After marriage all the relationships I have had have been solely in search of a relationship. I'm looking for that one woman that is looking for me.

I don't hang out with people like I used to. I don't go to parties, bars or anything where people gather just to hang out and shoot the breeze.
Its no fun being invisible in a crowd.

The women that I have dated are looking for a relationship. They want intimacy right away. There seems to be a change in expectations since I last dated. A need for instant gratification.

In-person interaction has been replaced by telephones and the internet.
By the time you start to actually date, you got to know them by phone or instant messaging. Agreeing to finally date is assumed to mean agreeing to a next step towards a relationship.

I have heard women on skype refer to me as "her boyfriend" to others in the room, when we have never met face to face. Assuming that we are in an inimate relationship already.
Hanging out by TCP/IP connection is not the same as hanging out in real-time face to face.
I've walked away from plenty of women on first meet when they assume we are already in an intimate relationship.

I have found a couple of activity partners, platonic not really dating.

However, Not online but here in Town. Nice to have these friendships.

I've dated off online but they usually push Relationship, so I declined.

I’d say it was at least 50/50, if not the opposite.

Things have just become more open in 21st century society, both in real life and the cyber world.
For example, back in 1988 the internet was not around and it was slower to get to know a vast amount of people. The statistics have just revealed more of those who do want to rush, however there are potential dates who still want to take time.

That's not it at all. Relationships are not a requirement to get the benefits these days. It's the other way around if you ask me. Women in my experience seems to want to put a ring on you without the benefit of a test drive.and frankly we or should I say I can't see myself getting into a relationship without crossing all the Ts and dotting all the Is.

I need an activity partner.

Many younger men are into dating , friends with benefits! Imo

I'm older and find older gentlemen more settled and enjoy activity out.

Has been my experience also. Just that the ones my age want a man to help raise a child and pay the mortgage.

I have had that experience myself. Not the child payment or mortgage, but the ring. I have met a few women and after a month or so they bring up...moving or marriage!

Too fast for me.. I like to take things a lot slower then that.

I think the search for realtionships changes as we get older.
Being older and alone is not much fun.
Many younger people define 'alone' differently.
Often, they are not truly alone but only feel alone.
There is a difference.

My reason for looking is to find a woman to spend time with.
Someone that wants to be with me as much as I want to be with her.
You can't establish that type of connection with a few dates.
You need to spend time in person with that person to get to know if there is something there.

I can't count how many times I have told a date "I don't know you well enough yet"
It takes 'time on target' in natural interactions to get to know someone.
Many people think that formalities in dating are natural interactions but they are not.
Not only do we not dress naturally, we act a 'part' as well.
We tend to try to put our 'best' foot forward and hide the 'worst' foot.
It gives a lop-sided impression of who we are.

This is why I refrain from using the term 'date'.
I ask if she wants to hang out together someplace.
I want to see her comfortable and natural.

I think a lot of women my age like dating and aren't wanting to rush into the boredom of a relationship. Most of us have been pleasers in the relationship/marriage. We are ready to enjoy life.

"what happened to dating?"

The retarded kid from dh ate it all.


.....

On topic:
No clue why anyone wants to rush into
a relationship.

It's like buying a new car.
I'm not gonna invest in a new car
without a very thorough test drive.

Do you honestly believe what you're saying? Do you really wanna buy the farm alone? I suppose that is your right if you so desire but the prevailing philosophy of people your age seems to indicate the opposite.