If I go out on a date, the man pays. I date to find a Romantic mate. We always eat together. I don't want a man who watches me eat.

If I am out with my man friend, activity partner, I pay for mine and he pays for his.

Poetry mavis and I would like a chicken dinner ‍♀️

Cannot say no to you.

why wasn't he eating?

This could be seen as bigoted, after all its all about equality in this age now as nobody wants to be held accountable to archaic preconceptions.
Its better to do things out of the principles of politeness though.

with every chic?... You need some self confidence...I can understand a few special women, but not every one...maybe the dumber women might give it up faster believing that, but the smarter ones will see right through that...

That's kinda vague.
What kind of date was it?
Did you go to a restaurant?

Did you go to the movies and he paid for popcorn and soda and he was going to take you home, and you were like "hey, I want some ice cream!" so he took you to get your ice cream and he's lactose intolerant?

Or were you at the zoo and you were like "hey, I'm going to get a funnel cake," and he was all, "how can you eat that fried sugary crap?"

Also, you said "a few dates," so this has happened more than once?
What kind of dates are you going on?
Do the guys consider them dates?
Are they like production dates where it's some kind of pageant where you both dress up nice, he picks you up, and you wonder where he's going to take you and it's love and excitement in the air?
Or is it some fellow student asks you to study together after class, you're sitting there studying together, and you go to the vending machine, and it's only a "date" because you happen to be spending time alone with someone of the opposite sex?

How are you defining "date" and what exactly happened?

From my own experience I "dated" an asian lady in college (referring more to the culture she was raised in and lived by than race).
She sat next to me, she was always nice, flirty, open, direct, showed me what she was buying from victorias secret, she asked me, and I asked her to meet up after class or on weekends to go over things in our accounting class she was having difficulty understanding. We'd sometimes meet at starbucks or the cafeteria and she always bought something for herself, many times before I even got there.
We met up several times each week to study, she always called it a "date."
I asked her out to a comedy club, to go on a date, to go have fun, and she told me "oh no, I can't date a white guy/American, my grandmother would never let me."


Was he waiting for you to pay?
Or was he waiting to see if you had quarters or if he needed to get some?
Did you tell him beforehand you were going to go put quarters in and you were waiting for him to make a production and say "no no! I'll get it! No date of mine will ever pay for anything!"
Did he just buy dinner and drinks and did you say you'd get the pool game?
Was he cheap or supporting your feminist independence allowing you to provide something for the sake of your ego?

I've been on dates with women who've done something similar with the check. It's sometimes obvious when they don't really have any intention of paying, they just want that scene/back and forth to be made, and it's funny the look on their face and what they say when you don't provide it and just say "okay."


I'd need more information on what actually happened and what was said.

What you reeled in there, my dear was a tightwad (Latin term: tightwadus manus). A common species, but one to be avoided.

bottom line, the man should pay. Or at the very least offer to pay. If the date sincerely balks at that then follow her wishes.

what he said

I dont subscribe to that theory whoever asks pays

I think it takes the romance out of it...

Ive been asked out and Ive always declined when someone asks me out because I know from experience that they will pay and to me that takes away my manhood when a woman pays when Im out.

I get it once you're in a relationship and she wants to do something special for me, I have no issues with that.

But starting out getting to know someone romantically and paying for the date, you might as well kick me in the nuts after too.

once its established it depends

The last person I dated we dated for 6 months, the shortest relationship Ive ever had.

one month into the relationship she discovered this new and chic Thai restaurant, Thai food being one of my favourite dishes and she surprised me by taking me out and she paid the bill but she made it clear when we arrived that it was her treat and I had no problems with it

Um... I'm going to eat and pay for both..

If there's other expenses, it's on me to..

I had a 25 year date and she paid for everything, using my money.

I appreciate that about you.

If I do the inviting then I offer to pay. But if he insists on paying, I'm not going to fuss over it, I'll let him pay.

how did she do it?

I think every country has a ritual of losers who mooch

I was trying to be nice, and look at it logically

But how is he mooching if he didn't eat anything?

I guess cheapskate would be the right word.