When cheating becomes the choice,
the relationship becomes the mistake.

oh that is phucking good, I have to borrow that line if you dont mind.

Whatever works for you.
It only reiterates what others have said.

Both... duh.. usually.

j/s....

It is a choice maybe due to a previous mistake or a mistake chosen to right a current mistake but is never ever a right thing to do

what , what, what, wait a sec

are you saying there is justification for someone cheating ??

Well, there are those that side with cheating then there is everyone else.
Anyone that sides with anything except choice is the other ones.
But, by her own reply, she sides with the majority that it is a choice.
The only red flag is the word "maybe". However she saved grace by including "But" at the end.
To err on the side of complicity, I'll have to rule in her favor.
...I think...

sorry but there is no justification for cheating, not one
its by choice and its that simple.

As my grandfather said to us a thousand times,if a man can cheat on his loved ones he isnt the person to be trusted.

there are things you cannot cheat on

Your taxes to the IRS.
your friends and family
A la cosa nostra boss
and your spouse.

Everything else is fair game.

I wasn't disagreeing.
Just pointing out what I read and how I read it.

Thanks tom ...couldn’t have explained myself better

See, I can honestly say (why would I say otherwise?) that I have never cheated on anyone I was romantically involved with.
I can see no reason to do it?
Its just so wrong.
But then, I also don't put much faith in deception.

Wrong things dont have justifications. It has reasons and usually not right. We all have choices to make but we dont have the right to judge others.

maybe and buts.....

Whatever happen to personal responsibility , it used to black and white, today its not, its maybe and buts, its a choice from a mistake.

Oh his wife fell unto her friends penis, it was an accident

or her husband woke up next to a naked women after a night of drinking so because he did it she can do it too, maybe... but its getting even.


sorry I despise cheaters, one my best buds is no longer with us because his ahem F *^*(#&g wife cheated on him and gave a present for life , he was so distraught he decided to end it 5 years ago, and her excuse it was a mistake...

A mistake for 1 and a half years.

I think there is a very important thing to remember.

Even tho you may have been cheated on and it hurt you, not all people cheat.

Even tho you may have cheated and it ended badly, doesn't make you prone to being a cheater.

No matter how cheating was in the game, its how you are from this day forward that really matters.

Try not to allow the past to taint the love you may feel for someone else.
Not only is it not fair to them, its not fair to you either.

DISCLAIMER: Not directed to anyone in particular.

I have been cheated on ... i know the feeling. But i will never go on hating. A relationship is two way i will never put all the blame on someone as it takes two for something to really brew. I agree that cheating is bad and it is a choice but i cannot judge every cheater by the wrong thing they did.

^ enlightened ^

I used to believe that Tom, but my experience tells me differently.

Ive NEVER cheated on any girlfriend, why probably because my parents grandparents influence, other family influence, certain friends and associates.

Have I been cheated on ? yes and it hurt like a motherless Phuck, and I would never do it someone else, I rather man up and say sorry its not working for me, at least she can get closure and say at least I went out with a guy that has guts to break up instead of phucking around.

Ive heard people tell me theyve cheated once and then of course it happens again, I think serial cheaters cant help themselves, they can B.S all they want, a leopard cannot change it spots.

I rather be with a woman who has been cheated on and has the strength not to do it than someone that said, well my hubby cheated so I cheated.

whatever.

yes this is a touchy subject when I think of my old buddy Johnny.C.

Some judgement is required but its more of a judgement of personality traits than it is specific actions.
Especially if those specific actions are the result of extenuating circumstances.

There are tale-tells that one can look for that are dead give-a ways as to whether a person is prone to certain behaviors.

If you ignore those tale-tells is it their fault or your own judgement's fault?

Too many people base relationships on faulty judgement. They experience the results of that faulty judgement and blame others. Where is the insanity?

I agree Tom, no arguments there, experience in relationship toughens us up, I know today I know I will never ignore the red flags again, it may seem like Im being judgemental but reality is reality .

I know some people think Im hard on cheaters and I am and I do judge them harshly and to that I say so phucking what?

I rather be honest and upfront about than puzzy foot round.