Poor coping mechanisms for sure.
Oddly enough I realize through your question that most males in my life had a problem with emotional outburst of anger. Even my dad, even my sweet Cancer then husband. My ex husband would never ever have hurt me, so it didn't scare me in that sense. But it did make me lose respect for him in the end. He couldn't deal with more difficult situations -regardless the nature- when his masculine strength was needed. So then he got totally explosive.

I think with men it is mostly related to that: something triggers a hurt or not developed part of their sense of masculinity the wrong way, and off they go.
For instance ex hubby... I needed his masculine input and strength to help deal with a situation of our son getting seriously bullied at school. We had to talk to the parents of the bullying kid. Ex was about to have a go at the father, a jolly decent man, only because ex-hubby couldn't deal with the emotional turmoil. It stirred memories of his own childhood that he never dealt with, and voila: an incredibly gentle, loving Cancer man gets unbelievably aggressive.

Is it unmanly? I think it is actually. I remember what I felt when this got up my nose: "I want a man beside me, an equal, not a another child."
It ended up being one of the reasons for me wanting a divorce. I lost respect for him, and I cannot love a man I don't respect.

He's still the same but older, and full of resentment.
Last saw him 6 years ago.
Still angry about life, still having tantrums and still mean to the people that love him.
Its my view of him that has changed.
He no longer has power over me.
I no longer feel intimidated by him or others like him.
But, my sister loves him and I love her.
She is emotionally strong and has learned not to project his personality on others.
Sweetest most caring person I know, my sister.
But then, she is my sister so I'm kinda blinded.
She can get and show fury too.

I am the keeper of all ManCards

The GodFather giveth... but more often, taketh away!

I'll make ya an offer you can't refuse.

Temper Tantrums-a mature man, really? If I don't have them, than why should put up with them in another? Tell him to leave, here's your hat, what's your hurry,don't let the door bash your butt on the way-OUT! LMAO!

When I'm pissed at my girl, I like my space to cool off. When I'm pissed at someone else, I'll tell her about it and vent to her, to help me cool off faster. If it's someone important to her, like her friends, etc. I'll let her know, after I cool off a bit, as to not say something stupid.

People acting like a "temper tantrum" isn't something we all experience. Life is hectic, difficult and frustrating. We all reach a breaking point where we lose logic and let loose to get that frustration out. I rather throw a tantrum and get my feelings out,than keep it bottled inside. Showing your pain, isn't unmanly. In fact it is far more manly, to express yourself and not care what other people may think.

For instance, last summer my cousin was murdered by her husband. I had a fit of rage, and while some may think that, perfect control is needed in every aspect of life to show manliness. To me that is absolute nonsense. I'm a human being, I like everyone else, women, children, etc will throw a tantrum when pushed over the edge.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, shedding a tear is also fine.I always shed a tear when I watch The Lion King and Mufasa dies. Or when someone overcomes a life obstacle, or anything that touches my heart really. Showing emotion is not a weakness and unmanly.

I don't actually score men. LoL! A comedian at a local comedy house did a whole routine about "man points" once. It included a list of infractions. Holding a woman's purse while shopping is a 5 point offense. Things like that. He was hysterical.

When the outcome is like John Wick, or the beginning of Con Air, yes.

When it's something like the Youtube rants of "leave Brittany alone!" or, No Trump "somebody better fix this right f'n now!" or some fat guy blubbering and crying and impotent to do anything but whine, no.


Depends on a lot of things.
Are you contributing to it?
Do they regularly have temper tantrums?
How old are they?
What kind of things do they value? I mean huge difference in how you can "help" with someone that eats their feelings and someone that punches their feelings.

Coping mechanisms tend to be unique.
There are many general ones that are then tailored to the individual.
But there isn't some magical "best way" to help a particular individual cope with some vague problem leading to a "temper tantrum."


The funny thing is in doing that, it may actually be exacerbating the problem causing a "temper tantrum."

Its been my observation that 'temper tantrums' are a sign of emotional immaturity. Most people that have tantrums often have other emotionally driven extremes and do not possess inner contentment.
They think they do.
They usually try to justify themselves with phrases that start as
"I Was Fine Until..."
In reality, they are sticks of dynamite just waiting for something or someone to ignite the fuse. Sometimes the fuse is already burning but nobody can tell how long the fuse is or how fast it burns.

People with personalities prone to tantrums often need to apologize frequently to maintain relationships. They react to stimuli without first considering the results of their actions. Many times their reactions are not reasonable to the stimuli but based on corrupt perceptions.

A child that throws tantrums when they don't get what they want is a result of what many call being spoiled or being catered to. The parents, or authority in their lives, attempt to quell their outbursts with rewards and the child learns that the louder, more disruptive they can be, the more they get what they want.
There are adults that have personalities based on the tantrum/reward system.

There are also adults that have tantrums because they are angry. The tantrum is how they express their anger. A lot of times, the angry tantrum adult doesn't even know why they are angry. They are just angry at everything in one way or another. This type of tantrum can be fixed with proper counseling many times. Isolate the source of the anger and deal with it so it is no longer such an over-powering emotion inside them.

Then there are adults that use tantrums as a method to direct a situation.
They use their intelligence and their empathy to direct others via outbursts that are strategically planned.

Finally, there are adults that are medically inclined to tantrums. In movies (like The Accountant, Rain Man and others) we can see some examples of special needs people with severe OCD having tantrums but in reality not all OCD challenged people are severely challenged to the point they are as readily identified like in the movies. For those people, tantrums are a result of a physical issue. A deformity or difference in how they process things. Sometimes the tantrums can be controlled by medicine, sometimes they can't. Tourette's Syndrome is a mild example of this type of tantrum.

Tantrums are the inability to properly express feelings according to society norm.

Uh Oh... I'm feeling a manly emotional outburst coming on

hahaha .. I am picturing an erupting banana .. quick everyone take cover

I will admit I know how to push a man's buttons tom .. and you are right sometimes it is strategic There are certainly different degrees of tantrums ... I can understand how they happen and that sometimes they help with the distressing process .. however .. if a man portrays himself as having a great sense of humour .. yet he has smoke coming out of his ears when others disagree with him or little things set him off .. then I would be wary of him . To me that is different that major events that push him over the edge .

tom .. if he looks as hot as john wick .. I think I would allow him a tantrum now and then .. but only in the bedroom or bathroom .

Not really sure how my observing a man exacerbates a tantrum ... when it is done covertly .. although I will admit my mouth has always been somewhat challenging for some men

I am intrigued . .. do you know if it is on YouTube at all

I agree with most of your post ... I guess to clarify .. I was approaching this topic more from the point of attraction and mate selection .. rather than an established relationship .

venting can be healthy .,showing emotions is normal ... loss of control iis subjective and not always attractive or manly

i prefer to use my very persuasive powers to derail a temper tantrum .. almost like a challenge

Hope it involves cannoli

I'm wary of any woman that 'portrays' themselves to be something they are not.
I know women that portray themselves as they are, It can be done.
Sadly, they already belong to someone else.
They are the example I base my searches on. The ability to be themselves without hiding behind a faked persona.
Faked personas hide more than just tantrums, sometimes much worse.

Tell me, If a good-looking (to you) man you were dating started out by telling you that he has trouble with outbursts and tantrums, would that be an automatic end to your relationship with him?
Or would you be able to cope from knowing and expecting an occasional outburst (as long as they are not violent towards you)?
Would you defend him or make excuses for his behavior to others?
Would you be embarrassed or nonchalant?
Is there a certain frequency of those types of events that would be signal to abandon him as a date? One per month, one per week, one per day, one per hour?
Even if he tells you beforehand, would you be surprised by it? Just the first time or everytime?
How would you justify your relationship with him to your own family and friends.

Just curious in a scenario sorta way...

you said that righ!!