I am wondering to myself. My mother remarried yes. I am no hurry into relationship. I don't mean question it and with things. We went to movies mainly just siting around bored. The vibe felt weird. I never really had a father. Maybe I am over thinking things. Is it just imagination? I never overly affection type myself. He came in and sit with watching me listen to music. He want a hug and then he want a kiss. I am like alright.

My mom had work late that was why she was not here. I worried that might change into something Steve Wiko situation. I don't want to be one destroy their relationship. Am I wrong to think that? Or I am over thinking thing? Because when I was younger I never had that type of relationship with my father. I wonder what is normal with the father and daughter relationship?

Could someone tell me? What sign do I need to look for that I would have run for the hill with?

You already had the only warning you need: "The vibe felt weird."
Talk to your Mama about it.
Before it gets weirder.

I agree with soufiehere

How would I bring something like that up with her?I could talk about singer and movies. I am not sure how to bring that up. I mean don't want think I was try something funny with him. I mean asked me for hug and then that was on check.

Lock your bedroom door at night and when your mother is not around.
You are 31 years old.. get your own apartment.

In other words, run for the hills. There's a weirdo in your house.

I was a stepfather for years. I had a stepdaughter that lived in my home on and off for quite a time. Whether or not you had much of a dad, you inheirtly know creepy. Trust your gut. No stepfather should have that vibe.

So honest.

If I EVER thought that my stepdaughter, whether or not they were adults, felt creeped out, I would have to sit and think about my life at that point!

Humm okay that is even creepy to me....

When you say kiss may I ask was he asking for a kiss on the cheek and a hug or a kiss on the mouth type thing.. Either way is creepy for a step-dad...

Things like this is what keep me from even having a man live in my house after I Divorced.. And never did till my kids were grown..

I can understand just a hug when one has done something you are proud of but asking for any type of kiss is well not right in and sense of the word..

Always go with your gut.. no matter what my kids ever told me I always believed them if something like that would have ever happen with my kids I don't care who the man was or what I felt for him he would be out the door so fast that there would be smoke coming off his heels... Well that is if he could walk out the door..

You have already had all the red flags you need.

It was on the check not on the mouth.I never had father relationship and daughter thing. My biological father I don't really know him. I am not sure how it work. I know I had alot stepfather in my day been in life. It just now I am finally get to a know my mother. Because my mother has not always been in my life. I was often busy taking care of my grandmother.

He is in 60s that is age wise. It been 16 year since they were married. Maybe your right. I mean I always trouble calling him father or dad. It was always by his name Bill.It not don't accept him or anything. I don't misread anything either.

If they've been married 16 years I'd have thought he would have tried something before now.
If he makes you feel uncomfortable again tell him or your mother.

I kiss my daughter on the cheek so maybe he just wants acceptance.

But to actually make a topic out of it tells me it must have been a creepy vibe.

0p.. your 31 a grown woman...

Is your stepfather attractive..lol

All I'm saying is there's nothing wrong with a little healthy competition between a mother and a daughter...wink...


Ok.. of course I'm just kidding with my above comment.... hugging someone is nice a little kiss on the cheek is nice..
Perfectly normal in that type of relationship.. groping your breast touching your leg or shoulders kissing you on the mouth.. anything that makes you feel like.. a little like.. stranger danger alert..
Is wrong... and at your age the only time you should really hug him.. is maybe after he takes all of you out for dinner and you want to say thank you with a little hug..
To him... or if you're saying goodnight Maybe.. but again the hug shouldn't be too tight or too long and the kiss should never be on the lips

What sign do you need?.. he did everything short of trolling his salami past you in the living room while you watched t.v.

you already know what he wants.

No. He isn't. He is not my type.

.. well there you go!... then treat him like your mother's boyfriend...
A boyfriend for your mother and a friend for you.. let him know any more than that would be an acceptable.. and if he crosses the line.. with you... you going to throw a plugged in hair dryer in the shower with him.. one day...yup.. that should pretty much do it

Little service announcement..
And in no way is ( PhD )..endorsing or condoning or suggesting that the above commit manslaughter.. no.. I am simply suggesting.. that the above make it clear that she is not to be.. messed with...
I am not to be held responsible for anyone else's actions.. come to think of it you might want to try hitting him between the legs with a sledgehammer.. again just a suggestion

Alone with your Mama, you could tell her that while you like
your stepfather enough, he moves too fast with the kissing
and hugging and that makes you uncomfortable.

Those things take time, you cannot switch affection on and
off. And that perhaps the stepfather could wait until YOU
are ready and prepared to initiate such a thing..when or
if that day comes.

She will be aware of your lack of experience around grown
men, it is not unreasonable in any way.

I think what the Thee-ster is saying is that you should know the difference between a " relative kiss and hug" and a passion kiss and hug.

Hey Thee... CAPS in computer lingo means yelling at the person. your cap lock is on.. hit it.. they you will be fine