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| Topic: Would you say i'm shallow? | |
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Well, I once married a man and had based him on his looks. What a foolish mistake that was, big time. (And a shallow fool I was too!!) We've now been divorced eleven years, but I love my daughter (and he's not in the picture at all, of course), so although it was a mistake, she wasn't. If you don't have an equal intellect with someone, that's a huge problem. Looks or sex won't make a marriage, but they can break it.
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Nothing set me off...I am just stating how I feel. I don't let anything here set me off!
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Physical appearances change all the time. If you're basing a person solely on that, why not just go to strip clubs?
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or the escort section of the local paper
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I don't know if people are being shallow or just dealing with human nature. For the most part men are visual and an attractive women is a hard to resist. But, what is on the inside is important for the long term. I guess in a perfect world we want both.
Sex is what brings men and women together as mates. Without sex and attraction doesn't that just make us friends? The whole relationship issue can get quite complicated. |
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I don't know if people are being shallow or just dealing with human nature. For the most part men are visual and an attractive women is a hard to resist. But, what is on the inside is important for the long term. I guess in a perfect world we want both. Sex is what brings men and women together as mates. Without sex and attraction doesn't that just make us friends? The whole relationship issue can get quite complicated. CAN I GET AN AMEN!!!!!! |
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further more what do i have to offer? i have personality, honesty, loyalty, financial stability, i'm a non smoker, i don't drink but once in a RARE BLUE MOON, i've never dried a smoke or any drug in my entire life. I DON'T lie to ANYONE... EVER, i don't beat around the bush, and i don't let things go unsaid, that need to be said. I can communication openly and calmly, and i am good at solveing problems, even in a stressfull manor... and is it too much to look for someone who can do the same? Yeah, plus I'm super cute, inside and out 
You obviously don't marry "based" on looks. But c'mon, be real. 'Romantic' is an attractive woman and no matter what age you are you can still be physically attractive. i see grey woman alot and think "it would be nice to keep up my looks throughout life. It helps you feel good. |
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Beauty fades...inner beauty can keep on growing!! Have you ever met someone that was not so pretty when you first looked at them, but the more you talked to them...the more beautiful they became? Thats inner beauty!!! I go for personality every time, I would rather have someone with inner beauty then beauty on the outside!!! Looks fade fast!!
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Amen.
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Nothing set me off...I am just stating how I feel. I don't let anything here set me off!
Sorry, I misread somthing there, hence I deleted it. 
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Beauty fades...inner beauty can keep on growing!! Have you ever met someone that was not so pretty when you first looked at them, but the more you talked to them...the more beautiful they became? Thats inner beauty!!! I go for personality every time, I would rather have someone with inner beauty then beauty on the outside!!! Looks fade fast!! I already stated that. but thanks. |
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I think the looks thing is a bone of contention and jealousy with you ladies here. All women have the potential to 'be' attractive. It's what you choose to do with yourself that sways it one way or another. Oh well, next forum.
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You guys are young, and you will learn that beauty is only skin deep. Sure you can have a beautiful girl on the outside...but what if she is ugly on the inside? What would you rather have..inner beauty or outer beauty?? You can only parade a woman around for so long!! How do you know that these single women with children are even looking for someone to raise their chilren? I am sure that right there is going to offend a lot of women with children! I myself do not want someone to raise my boys! My boys do have a father...why do they need another one?? Please explain this one to me!!! I do think both of you guys are shallow...all you talk about is looks. Let me ask you this...what do you have to offer that beautiful woman? Do you think you have good enough looks to keep that woman interested in you?? on the note of children, if there's going to be regular interaction w/ children, expected or unexpected, regular interaction eventually builds a roll of one type or another, and a situation w/ children is one that at 23, i'm not looking to jump into... you can't hold that against me. OF COURSE inner beauty is more important, whoever i believe a good outter beauty is not only a physical thing, but a way to see that a person takes care of themself.. Someone who weighs 400 pounds has a lack of care SOMEWHERE there when it comes to maintaining themselves... and YES, i am takeing my own advice on that, i can't say i'm good looking or not, that's for other people to make up their minds on, how ever i am striveing on many things, one of which is to become more physically fit. and i plan on obtaining that goal, and keeping it. further more what do i have to offer? i have personality, honesty, loyalty, financial stability, i'm a non smoker, i don't drink but once in a RARE BLUE MOON, i've never dried a smoke or any drug in my entire life. I DON'T lie to ANYONE... EVER, i don't beat around the bush, and i don't let things go unsaid, that need to be said. I can communication openly and calmly, and i am good at solveing problems, even in a stressfull manor... and is it too much to look for someone who can do the same? |
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you know what you want and you shouldn't question your reasons why with other people. Everyone is going to have a different opinion of why which will just confuse you more. Your not being shallow your being you! love yourself for what you are and who you are. Screw what everyone else thinks of you. I am the same way you are and I'm notashaned of it. I like to be wit a guy that im physically attracted to and mentally attracted to. I tried a relationship wit a guy i was not really physically attracted to and trust me there was dust piling up in the bedroom. I couldn't get myself to have sex with him. I obviously told him it wasnt working and that im sorry but i just couldnt do it. It made me realize and learn something about myself that i do need to be physically attracted to the person too in order for me to be with them. It's who you are and you know that about yourself. I see people post comments and if it's something you don't like your posted comment is right under there's defending why you are the way you are. LOL just stop it already you know what you like what you don't like so accept it. SO what if people call you shallow or not shallow. IF i invested my time "listening" to what others thought about me or my ways or what i believed in or not" I'd be 1 miserable girl!!! My advice to you stop worrying what others think of you and worry about what you think of yourself!!!
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so what im' geting from this thread so far is...
some people agree that some level of physical attaction is important for a relationship to proceed past the friend phase, and some people claim it matters none at all... furthermore, i'm noteing that the people who feel looks DO matter to some degree apear to be guys, and those who strongly disagree apear to be mostly women... hmm weird... do girls not want that prince charming? ... well i'm holding out for my cinderella... does that make me a bad person? |
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Noone on here is being shallow for liking your own type of guy or girl. It's what you like don't be ashamed of it!
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you know what you want and you shouldn't question your reasons why with other people. Everyone is going to have a different opinion of why which will just confuse you more. Your not being shallow your being you! love yourself for what you are and who you are. Screw what everyone else thinks of you. I am the same way you are and I'm notashaned of it. I like to be wit a guy that im physically attracted to and mentally attracted to. I tried a relationship wit a guy i was not really physically attracted to and trust me there was dust piling up in the bedroom. I couldn't get myself to have sex with him. I obviously told him it wasnt working and that im sorry but i just couldnt do it. It made me realize and learn something about myself that i do need to be physically attracted to the person too in order for me to be with them. It's who you are and you know that about yourself. I see people post comments and if it's something you don't like your posted comment is right under there's defending why you are the way you are. LOL just stop it already you know what you like what you don't like so accept it. SO what if people call you shallow or not shallow. IF i invested my time "listening" to what others thought about me or my ways or what i believed in or not" I'd be 1 miserable girl!!! My advice to you stop worrying what others think of you and worry about what you think of yourself!!! fitchic9499 - GOD BLESS YOU! and longhairbiker - a simple "LOL" should sum it up |
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I see you ladies post and swoon over Johny Depp and george Clooney, Don't play coy 
Pleaseeeeeeeeeee, give me Jack Black over Depp and Clooney anyday... |
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It's not shallow, it's just male....statistically men are attracted to females due to physical characteristics more than anything else (something like 60% to 80%), where women are more attracted to communication skills ( 40% to 60%). This is not to say that men can't overcome this, just that it's instinctual. And when you realize that beauty can be found in other areas that make up someones whole persona, hopefully you will overcome that instinctual behavior...I'm not trying to be rude, just think your limiting yourself. Very few people are both beautiful & honorable, or sexy & intelligent, or your idea of perfect (which could change from day to day). BTW, I want the same things , too, but I just am being realistic.
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It's not shallow, it's just male....statistically men are attracted to females due to physical characteristics more than anything else (something like 60% to 80%), where women are more attracted to communication skills ( 40% to 60%). This is not to say that men can't overcome this, just that it's instinctual. And when you realize that beauty can be found in other areas that make up someones whole persona, hopefully you will overcome that instinctual behavior...I'm not trying to be rude, just think your limiting yourself. Very few people are both beautiful & honorable, or sexy & intelligent, or your idea of perfect (which could change from day to day). BTW, I want the same things , too, but I just am being realistic. i guess the only thing that really makes me any different then is that I not only want perfect, but that I refuse to settle, and maybe apearence us just the fastest simplest way to weed through some of them |
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