SO, a celeb recently is in the news for commenting how much work monogamy was for her....


I , on the other hand, have no desire to put in the work of putting forth that physical effort with multiple people all having multiple expectations,,,,I would find NON monogamy too much work,, and quite frankly,, nasty


women are generally assumed to have a monogamous nature, but I don't think it is determined by sexual anatomy but by upbringing, experiences, and environment.


so, for the MEN


are there any MEN who have a preference or 'nature' for Monogamy over promiscuity?

Back when I was in college, there was a big dance.
I got invited..many times..and the prospects kept
getting better and better as the dance came closer

I may have told more than one 'Yes, I will go with you.'

Being chronically monogamous, I felt so guilty I
called them all and said no and did not go.

Instinctive, for me.
As opposed to Camelot where Guinevere wanted all the
men to be in love with her.

I'm talking to a gal. Nice cute Native, 35. I'm 53.. don't laugh....
I haven't committed to much. Just dinner drinks and a couple of coffees..

But I still have a ghost in my heart of a love. She can tell. She doesn't push it. Ive told her about it. She understands. She says I'm stuck. I told her, I guess I monogamous even in my heart.

Well, I am a man. I have NEVER had more than one GF or lover at anytime in my life. In 25 years of marriage I never 'cheated' on my wife. Hell, I didn't even 'look'.
I believe this is one of the reasons I am alone right now.
I can't even go rent a hooker. I need something intimate and personal in my relationships with my one and only.

I had my first sexual encounter when I was 15 yrs old. It was 1977. With a woman that was 33 at the time. Some folks may say that was rape. To me, it wasn't. I learned a lot that year. After that, I thought if I could get it, I would. And every girl/woman was game. It was my mission in life to please the booty.

By the time I was 24 my ideals had started to change. I realized I was wrong. And what I really wanted was monogamy. All I wanted was one. And I've been hunting that one ever since. I need a connection. I got to the point to where I need a mental connection over a sexual connection, first. Sometimes I think that's why I'm alone. Back in the day when I thought different I had a woman all the time. I wouldn't go back, though.

Call it what you like, Monogamy over promiscuity
or the other way around.

I know one thing about me.
I AM A ONE WOMAN MAN,
never knew any otherway.

My ex, would do or give anything
to see me FLIRT at least once.

I could not do it, and never will even today.

Well, PERHAPS, I MAY BE BORING for some,
BUT THAT'S ME.

I dont expect many men to respond to this MsH, bevause most will never openly admit the truth which I believe to be this :-

Most men will take on as many affairs that their gf/wife will allow them to.

There was a man I was deeply interested in years ago and he expressed interest in me too but the catch was that he had a gf. So I told him that if he ever decided to officially end things with his gf , I would consifer a relationship with him.

Long story short, a year passed and he still had the same gf whom he continued to claim he did not love. And he went on to tell me that if I had only given him a chance back then that he was confident that he would have chosen me , as a man could never serve two masters...... implying that if I shared him with his gf at the time instead of letting him go as I did , that he would have eventually dropped her for me

Compare that to a scenario where one of my friends has been engaged in an affair with a married man for over a year now. My friend is blissful. Not only is he giid to her, he is good to her entire family. Meanwhile I am confident that his wife knows about my friend but she stays with him ,,, possibly becayse he is "good " to her too.

My point is this. .. My friend's lover is the proud companion of two mates because they allowed him to

******************************************************

I would not JUDGE anyone that's not for me ,
you or anyone, but the Divine.

Sounds like HE, is compromising
for his own good and advantage, = SELFISHNESS

What he is missing from his long term girlfriend
he is finding in/with you, and vice versa.

If you ever have to meet such person in your life again,

JUST RUN FOR YOUR LIFE.

Like you said, and that's very TRUE in nature of ALL things,

" A MAN COULD NEVER SERVE TWO MASTERS ".


But, that's just me Chirping, I am not an expert.

IMO I think that's the point of "non monogamy."

They don't really want to put in the work or effort.

As soon as the "relationship" or interaction discontinues being easy or offering immediate gratification without the "drama," then it's just time to switch to the next person.

Otherwise basically how a lot of women have a bunch of guy "just friends" that fulfill a certain role in her life. "Oh, he's my gay. Oh, he's like my brother. Oh, he's my drinking buddy. Oh, he fixes my car. Oh, he's just a nice guy, comes over and kills my bugs, ew. Oh, he makes work fun. Oh, he's my FWB. Oh, I just get along better with guys, we have fun."

IMO I think the mindset is just trying to experience something positive, not something all that deep.


Sure. Lots of guys.
I can't really prove it.
And even if I said I was that type of guy, why would you believe me?

I could even be one of those guys that say something like "I've only had one girlfriend at a time! All my relationships were long term! I never cheat! I'm a one woman man!"

But for all you know I only ever had the opportunity for one woman at a time. Could be my self esteem is so low that I worship any woman that pays me any attention, so I'm monogamous because I have to be, not because I want to be.

Or I could just be lying for the benefit of anyone reading my post.
Or I could be the "white knight" type of guy. Monogamous because I get more personal satisfaction 'saving' one woman at a time.
Or I could be a pseudo "nice guy" who is monogamous in order to maintain the image of being a "nice guy."

Not sure what kind of answer you could trust.

OR you could just trust no answers. Believe everyone always lies and sit alone pondering your questions yourself.

Trying to entertain more than one relationship at a time seems like too much work...one at a time.

I am a serial monogamist. Always have always will be. I think those
who lie cheat have several woman or affairs have deep rooted issues.
It just seems like a lot of work and makes for a lonely life.

Besides there are many things people with my morals and standards
I can wait..... and WAIT & WAIT

Looks sheepishly at the ground ..kicks the dirt a little bit with his foot ...and says no comment such a bad bad boy

I am totally monogamous, but I do not believe in the system of monogamy.

But I think my view of not-monogamous is different from yours here. To most it means banging as many other people as you possibly can. That's not my view of non-monogamy.

-Not being monogamous doesn't mean you actively pursue others than your partner.
-Nor does it mean you do not commit to one/your partner.
-Doesn't mean that you aren't monogamous because you always feel the grass is greener over there.

Monogamy as a system is idiotic. Mind you, I said as a system.
Monogamy as a choice, different ball game. Totally respect that.
I am totally monogamous. By choice.