..to to funny..lol..

Well. It's time for me to put my apron on and go make dinner..lol.. you all just keep the ball up in the air...injoy..lol.. what's that baby your steak. Is a little undercooked... and the vegetables are cold....ohhh.nooooo... let me fix that for you...lol... promise I'll do better next time

haa, could be ,,, there are masculine (dominating) females and feminine (submissive , nurturing) men


I think alot of women feel that to be treated in any way 'special' signifies they are seen as less capable or less in general

they fight tooth and nail to be 'equal' by only allowing the man to receive direction and never give,,,

allowing them to serve but never expect to be served in return,, so to speak


its not much of a give and take, placing two alphas together isnt a good thing

and women and men can have very 'alpha' personalities...

If you are uncomfortable with women who emasculate you but you repeatedly choose that kind of female, then two questions come to mind:-

1.Could it be that you get invested in women really quickly without taking the time to figure out if they are balanced in that regard?

2. What benefits are you getting from that kind of woman that compensate for the trauma you endure? After all . I don't think you would continue to choose women wo make you so unhappy unless they fulfilled some of your other needs that you deem fundamental . Wink.Wink...

..yes all good points.. I would imagine is a little bit of both.. but life is a learning process..and we adjust to it as we go.. I've learned some important lessons... and I'm on the road to a better self understanding..of me..

bad behavior is bad behavior
irregardless of gender

^^^^^^^

Yup,gotta agree with that.

As my old auntie used to say, "ya gotta use the people up the way they are".

Hmmm. Well, my experience and conclusions about those experiences are totally different.

I have come to see the world of human behavior as basically being a series of events, and of attempted solutions to those events. Although there are some people who are "emasculating," most who have that term thrown at them, really are not.

What they ARE, is much more accurately described as CONTROLLING. But to a male who is convinced that he is supposed to be allowed to feel that HE is the one in control all the time, simply because he is male, it's common for that male to use the term "emasculating," in order to allow him to add anti-feminine insult to injury.

Now. WHY are some women controlling? That varies from one to the next, but when it comes to anyone, male and female alike, being overly controlling, the causes and reasons for it are usually the same.

They include insecurity of course, sometimes based on prior experiences. In that case, they are trying to effect a "solution" to the prior event of being abused in some way, by over-doing various "prevention of abuse" strategies. In males and females both, this usually takes the form of demanding to know where the other person is and what they are doing and why, all the time.

Reactions to a controlling person can often reveal things about the person complaining about them, too. The more of a sensitive past of their own the "victim" of a controlling person has, the more likely they are to either lash out (as in this thread), or to repeatedly albeit resentfully knuckle under, if they haven't worked on themselves enough to come up with a TRUE solution to it all.

There are two best ways to deal with controlling people. The easy one, is to simply dump them. Shut them down, and leave. The harder one, is to work with them to help them find a more positive way to solve their issues with feeling vulnerable and needing to have the illusion of control.

The one thing I've never seen work to effect anything positive, is to accuse them of being "emasculating" when they are female, or "misogynistic" if they are male.

In general, once someone decides to use an INSULT label on the other person, they might as well just call it quits and walk away instead.

It's too late, once you hear the hollow thud,
of the testicles falling on the ground.

Not speaking from experience...really.
Well, not recent experience.

Well PhD,
Maybe the radar needs a tuneup. I get the vibe of a nutsnatcher and I stiff'em with the check, being they might be feeling so manly.

Just kidding, that almost never happens too often... Nice post shows different thinking.

Totally agree with your granddaddy... and thinking you should pay heed to his words too... So put away your gun -no pun intended- and stop friggin' shooting!

.. it's all in good fun and besides I'm only shooting blanks..lmao..

Hahaha, too much info, No1, way way WAY too much info!

PS I am PMSL now though, lol

Obviously I don't know you but did you every consider that you pick women who are dominating and controlling? I'm not a therapist but maybe you should examine your relationship with your own mother-sometimes we attempt to recreate our family of origin with our partner to work out unresolved issues. Also if you look at all of your relationships with women & see a pattern you might discover something.
Just a thought.

na man no 1 got's wifey issues and it is about control

she hurt him and still does maybe

so he has made a vow to himself

never to allow another woman in


you must look at the adjectives he uses to describe women

many no longer believe much in the tenets of gender or gender roles NO1

they do not associate anything with being masculine(male like) or feminine (female like) so they don't easily 'fit' themselves, meaning they don't care if you feel like you fit


Id say, find those who have similar standards regarding gender roles and gender, and who match those ideals in the way you would like/need

find those looking for they 'type' of man you are who are also the 'type' of woman you want,,,

As far as I know, most people that are on dating sites are not forced into any relationship. I personally don't know anybody that is in a prearranged marriage. Everyone I know has chosen who they are with. They continue to be in that relationship because they choose to.

If you feel you have no choice but to endure behavior from another that goes against your grain you might want to look at yourself for the answers you seek.

After all, It IS YOUR LIFE that you control and only your life.

Some of you might be thinking "well, it was good and then they changed".
We all change and we all have influence in the changes that happen to others as long as we allow ourselves to change. If your someone special has changed in a manner that you don't like it is up to you to address those concerns with honest and open communication. Usually a 'middle ground' can be met and the relationship can still flourish. When no compromise is possible, move on.

Personally, I'm looking for a woman that is comfortable being themselves. I don't really need to be controlled or feel that I am in control. If I accept her into my life I must understand that I am accepting all of her, not just my impression of her. As our relationship grows, part of the growing process is communicating as changes in both of us unfold.

Try making a list of Pros & Cons concerning traits you see in the other person. It won't change them but it might make you better understand yourself. It will at least give you a personal guide in your next selection process. Try to look at other examples of their personality traits that are not while they are with you. How do their family and friends see them? How do they act around strangers? Stuff like that.

I did he's taking about woman who like to take control & about how he lets them treat him lousy again & again even though they might seem nice to begin with. He's always complaining about emasculating women and I'm just saying he needs to look at himself & his choices in women and see if there is a pattern there. For years I couldn't understand why I got dumped time & time again. It took me a very long time to realize that I picked men who were at least as comittment phobic as I was or more so.

So sometimes its about more than being afraid of letting someone in- we repeat certain patterns of behavior for a reason & only he or he & a good therapist can figure it out.

but this new woman won't need me to ask..her...lol..

why is that..?

I believe at this point in my life ...
I do not want to control anyone ... Nor will I be controlled...
that sounds easy enough

Well you get what you pay for. You men all have an ideal of what YOU WANT. Then when the new wears off you decide she is who she has always been.

STOP WANTING WHAT YOU WANT GET WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU there is a difference in

do able and wifeable.

But if your heuvos are in her purse that's a different ball of wax.

No one should be controlling or controlled. Why do you keep picking
these women.

No one can man you feel inferior unless you let them
People will do what you let them do.

But if your ever in my neck of the woods forget the sammich
I make a mean Manicotti & bake some awesome bread.

Stay away from the narcissistic, condescending, sociopaths women you seem
to be attracting.
Broaden your horizons and standards