Ive been in a relationship with my gf for 5 years now. After years has passed we have been slowly drifting away from each other. We live together under a same roof and our lifes seems to be a burden to each other. We cant speak to each other anymore.

I love her so much. I've been thinking going to relationship therapy. I want to fix our relationship like it was in the beginning. Yet again im too afraid to raise the topic. Does someone has any good advices how to fix the situation. Thanks in advance

Did you communicate at the beginning of the relationship or do you just want the sex to be as good and frequent as it used to be?

Communication is not something you lose. You either do it or not. Relationships evolve. You're never going to have what you had in the beginning. I'm thinking you might need individual therapy as well as couples therapy.

Relationships evolve and yea, you can't go back.. hate to be a 'debbie downer'.. but you/she should move on..You are too afraid to bring up the topic? there's no communication so it'll never work...

Communication barriers & problems....& possibly bedroom problems too...

I beg to differ with what's been said...

Communication can be picked up, it can be learned. Most people don't know how to communicate in a healthy way in a relationship -or outside of it for that matter- so most s(rew that part up. Doesn't mean you have to break up when communication turns out to be a problem. You just have to learn to communicate in a healthy way.
Healthy mostly comes down to expressing your feelings without blaming the other and without making demands. You cannot expect someone to change, you can only change yourself. And when you change, the other will almost always change with you.
Someone once compared it to a boat. If both partners are on the same side of the boat, it is askew and might tip over. If one changes position, the entire boat will shift. Meaning nothing is lost. You can always change the dynamic in a relationship.
If there is enough love and stuff that binds people, there's hope.

Also, you CAN go back to the way things were. You just have to tap into the feelings you had at that time when you first got together. You can then still feel the joy, the excitement, the love, the butterflies. Going to back to those feelings will sure as hell help to connect again.
Most couples had those feelings and that 'honeymoon' time at first, it just gets bogged down by mundane, routinous things.
Also the 'getting to know each other' ironically bogs down those glorious feelings, as with the getting to know phase people usually start to judge, try to change the other, demand things etc etc.
None of those are love though, that's why it bogs everything down.
But you can still go back to love. It might take a bit of 'work', but if love is there and people want to make the effort (meaning work on themselves mostly) nothing has to be lost. Not at all.

First thing to do is get communication going, from your heart. Speak from the heart. Without blame, guilt trips, demands etc. Be open, honest, express your feelings.
So stuff like
-I feel ....
-I would love ...

Not stuff like ...
-you never do this that or the other....
- you always do this that or the other...
-I need you to do/behave/change/act/....

Or just come up with a surprise date. Take her somewhere. Go on a romantic dinner together, you can even do that at home. Buy her flowers. Send her this text message telling her you love her.
If you find communication scary, SHOW her! Make her feel special again, that will help make you feel good too, as she sure as heck will appreciate it.

five years of living together

what is different now?

both working? not putting much effort into how you look?
hum drum same old dinners each week?

when is the last time you went and did anything new?

I am not trying to be smart, but it sounds like can't never did anything. Best of luck workin it out.

Have you tried any dating games or applications. I tried this and it helped us a lot: http://www.wediditmethod .com/

You can go see a relationship therapist by yourself.
You can go by yourself to a bunch of different relationship therapists. Shop for one you will talk to.
And then discuss with them how to bring it up with your girlfriend and get them to go with you or whatever options you determine are best for you.

Problem with going to the internet for help is you get advice like this:

Assuming you are some sort of magic communication genius where you can eliminate all blame, guilt trips, demands, etc. not only from what you have to say, but also in a way guaranteed that she can't read them into what you say, guaranteed she will hear and understand what you want her to, then if you actually apply this you will start acting like a completely different person to what your girlfriend knows you to be now.
That's not going to end well.
Ask any step kid what it was like when their mom first brought home a new "dad."

If you want to "fix" things, then first thing to do is avoid internet adpinionvice like the plague.

Sorry for the bad news OP ... but you are an addict and she is one also.

Both of you were raised in dysfunctional families and found each other just so it could crash and burn in front of your eyes.

3 years is the normal time for this course of events to manifest. It is hormonal and driven by the human condition to have the parent objects to stick around for 3 years so that the child has an opportunity of both parents being there to work for the child's needs.

So the child then when it is older to have a chance of growing up ... as when the parents bail out earlier then it is more common for the child to die.

This was first discovered in the more serious form with the Blitz during WW2 London. 300 babies would show up as orphans and the nurse could only pick one to sit in the rocking chair with, to tickle the nose and be there with the child. The hormones come up and wake the brain up, makes it grow. The other 299 babies would be dead by morning as all they could do was feed it, care for it, and set it to bed and cry alone.

Well ... You and your GF .. both of you have an attachment disorder and are both addicts as a consequence of the poor childhood you both had. That is why you picked each other. Three years later the nesting hormones wear off and the person wakes up to find either they have a great wife or a screwed up wife .. or husband as the case may be.

Then have to bail.

You DO NOT WANT TO LEAVE ... and she has a similar problem where she can't stand being around you or talking to you .. and lives in fear to where bailing out and dumping you is what she wants to avoid.

It would make her cry to deal with the truth and she doesn't want to cry, hence the avoidance.

TO FIX THIS .. would take 8 years of recovery, both of you getting off your Obsessive Compulsive issues and stop your addictions (stuff you do every day to mood alter, maybe gambling or reading the bible or drinking or smoking .. what ever).

Both of you individually would have to heal up your broken hearts for your history of childhood abuse and abandonment ... and then stay together through all that ... and then wake up after 8 years ... realize the other person is not for you .. and bail out any way.

Or .. maybe .. stay together.

It is an easy 50/50 long shot either way ... but I say you guys are gonna crash and burn as you picked poorly.

There is to much crap under the bridge and your relationship lives over a cesspool .. so things just stink. None of you know how to clean as you go ... your parents never modeled that. So crap comes out and is ignored over time .. and the crap falls under the bridge that is your relationship. It rots and festers .. making things just stink no matter how strong the love is .. just can not stand being with each other.

SOoooooooo .. with that said.

Better to bail and leave with love .. while you still have love.

Or wait till even the love is burned out .. and leave with emptiness, despair, and despondency to carry that around for the rest of your life.

Call an end to the relationship .. go fix up your addictive personality and get some therapy (mind talk therapy will not be the help you need, as mind talk from mom and dad did not screw you up).

The applied psychophysiology interventions works best .. stuff like biofeeback, yoga, chinese 5 element accupuncture (get a license person) massage .. have to move the muscle memory and get the bitter salty tears out.

If you are crying every day .. you are doing recovery right.

Every one has to re-record over the recordings of their childhood.

I don't know if it will post here .. but if you want to look at a video on the Human Condition and the Duck Disease we all suffer from .... then here it is.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I1QrxgZtqik Duck Disease

You can fix this .. so it doesn't happen again.

Or do it not .. and go do this again and again .. until you tire of it.

Then fix it later.

Again .. sorry for the hard news.

sumbuddie wear blind sea

try the game " twister" but play it nude.. and invite some neighbors... works like a charm

chatting is one thing that you can stop after time but you tend to loss the respect of one an other before that