This is really just a vent but I need to get it off my chest.
Men on this site constantly send me emails saying hi and they are not who I am seeking. At first I replied politely and engaged in small talk until it became clear they wanted to develop a romantic relationship. I then tried as politely as I could to point out they were not who I am looking for. They accused me of leading them on.
So I learned from those experiences to say right up front if the gentleman is not a match for me and they still get angry.
Most of this could be avoided if men would just READ my profile but most choose not to.

I am feeling as though I have no choice in who I want to see and to exercise my choice means men (who think they are wonderful gentlemen by the way) feel justified in cursing me and calling me all kinds of names.
Is this the norm on this site? Do other women experience this as well?

I once got an initial email that went
something like this:

'Who the **** do you think you ***ing are?
You think any ****ing dude of 18 is gonna
want your **** ***? You are a piece of ****
that deserves ****.
**** my ****.'

It struck me as so bizarre that I replied.
I said, the age range (18-300 or so) is so
that people from the forums can contact me,
no matter their age.

He replied back.

'**** that. You ******* are all ****.
I **** all you ****ing *******.
Go **** yourself.'

Now, I don't reply, guess why :-)

I hear you girl!

sorry to hear that happened Soufie


I rarely reply unless the message seems clever and the person seems to have bothered to find out if we have anything in common from the profile

Before I set my mail filters, I used to get lots of emails from
very unwanted peeps. If I was not interested, I just didn't
respond and deleted... and anyone mean, I block block block.

Now I have my filters set to my age group, I don't get lots of
emails anymore... partly because most people my age group are
dead.... or just seem dead. lol

I've read that many men are very visual and don't bother to even read a profile; they see a picture of someone who looks good and email right away--they'll deal with compatibility later.
Good luck.

If a guy is cursing you out and calling you names, he is obviously not a gentleman.

I get the line that men are visual but for all the divorced men here you would think that after a while they would figure out that tactic is not working. Slow learners I guess.

I had a gaming picture up on another site, and some guy sent me a really scathing email about how stupid, useless, insane I was --- I found it interesting, that anyone would go out of their way like that, just to be so rude --- but I just blocked him.

So far, here, I haven't had any nasty emails - but I was dormant for a while and newly reactivated so – time will tell.

I did fix my email settings, so I don't get messages from men who are closer to my son's age than mine, anymore.

Yes, and men experience it as well. And on all dating sites, not just this one.

I had a lovely conversation with a seemingly nice woman, earlier this month. We chatted about the workings of the site (not this one, but similar), I offered some insights (I'd been on longer) and sympathized with her worries. When she asked to move directly to communicating through another email service that I have had very bad experiences with in the past, and I explained that I didn't like that one, she lashed out at me, called me a liar and a deceiver, and demanded I never try to contact her again. Ironic thing was, she was the one who initiated contact.

So yes. it happens everywhere.

And in fact, it is the number one reason why MOST people react to message s from strangers to whom we are not immediately attracted or interested, by deleting them without response.

It's the only effective way to avoid that sudden vicious attack experience.

sorry about that what can I say ? I got a temper

I get it but it still does not lessen the sadness I feel that people have in large measure lost all social graces.

I get it but it still does not lessen the sadness I feel that people have in large measure lost all social graces.

And I would say he would have more issues than just not being a gentleman, such as the one described in Soufiehere's example.

Hello.....

Soufie,

Who in the **** is this ****ing guy??? I will shove a red hot panzer tank up his ****ing ***. **** him! He has to ****ing appologize! I will kick him square in his ****ing twig and berries...

Just kidding.. kid sounds like he might have a bad case of turettes, just like i used to....