Hi,

I've been talking to someone on here I think things could go somewhere with them (it's at the point of so far so good, just not met in person yet).

We talk off here now daily for the past week and often chat on the phone. I notice she hasn't been on since, which is making me thinking "should I still be friendly with other girls?".

There's one other we've tentatively talked about going hiking which I wont commit to yet until I see where things go with the other girl.

Being in a past relationship where jealousy was an issue I'm wary of still being active here could an issue.

Thoughts?

You should cultivate many friendships..

Cultivate and keep all friendships, if they are friendships in the true sense of the word ...you can never have too many friends...just saying!!

When you can't or have no interest in living up to your own definition, ideals, or boundaries for what you think a "friend" should towards the other person.


To me this is little different than "I really want to bang this other girl, but I am going to wait to see if the first one bangs me before I commit to banging the other girl."

My thoughts are it sounds like you're just playing games.

You've been talking to a girl daily, and chatting on the phone.

You "should" have asked her to meet by now.
If you aren't then you are either too scared too, or you are too intent on manipulating how she sees you, making sure she feels calm and secure, like a fly and you're waiting for that tell tale vibration in the web that tells you when to pounce, rather than be honest with what you want.


Too late now.
You are active here still and you are aware it's important.
Which means you are either going to be honest about it, or you're going to hide it from them in the hopes you can keep it secret until you're sure you can get what you want.

That's the only dilemma you are wrestling with.

You aren't wary. You are aware and rationalizing at best.

So, my thoughts are hurry up and ask the first one out since you seem to talk to them daily, and set up a hiking plan with the second for a time after meeting the first.
If the first woman works out, you can always cancel the second.
If the first woman is so so, you can always make the second and compare.
If the first woman doesn't work out, you've not wasted a lot of time manipulating and blowing off the second so your conscious is eased.

Based on who you present yourself as here, if I was that person, that's what I would do.

Those are my thoughts.

Is there a ring on your finger? Then the answer is yes, keep looking, your single.

Right you are on that!!!! Lolzzzzz.....If there ain't no ring, then You're a Free Man Buddy!!!

You shouldn't feel guilty if you befriend lots of girls because you are looking for your rightful woman and unless you already have an "official" girlfriend then just befriend others and do it one at a time. If it does not work with one then try to consider another one that would suit your interest and emotions as well. Best of luck to you then

And when do you say No to Friendship?? When you feel that the girl is special and you want to get serious with her then speak your heart out right away but then prepare yourself for the consequences, though it is better to know where your relationship stands the earliest, so you could think things over and not waste much of your time and pray to God to answer the desires of your heart, it helps too to have faith

Well I think you are doing a lot of assuming dhsaka.

You are assuming that you are the only guy she has been been chatting with regularly.

You are also assuming that one week of ongoing offline chats indicates a lot of potential for a committed relationship , which it doesnt.

You are freely entitled to get acquainted with other people when you are not in a relationship.

Just let them know from the onset that you are trying to get to know someone better and seeing where that goes .

That shouldnt be too hard for a balanced thinking woman to understand

I would worry that a person who expected more than that after a grand total of 1 week , is rather clingy and possessive

Hi

Hi

You are still in the friendship zone. You are a free single young man. Free to make as many friends as your heart desire.

Perhaps, arrange a first meet and see what happens.

Good luck

From my past experiences...it's best to not put all your eggs into one basket..at least until you meet in person. People aren't always what they seem to be.

It seems contradictory, but it actually is not:

artificially closing yourself off from talking to a variety of people is NOT the correct way to address jealously.

What you really need to work on, isn't worrying about what might be in the mind of someone you are interested in.

What you need to work on, is figuring out what is ACTUALLY in your OWN mind, about that person, as well as about what you want in a relationship in general.

If you're looking only for someone to "service your needs and desires," for example, and you find you are trying to judge if the particular person in front of you is up to the task, they are very likely to sense that, and will NOT take it as an indication that you care about them as an individual.

The reason why you're not sure what to do here, tells me that you aren't interested in THIS PARTICULAR WOMAN, you just want a mate. There's nothing wrong with that per se, but it's critical to making your immediate choice, for you to realize that.

In a nutshell: if you WERE seriously interested in THIS WOMAN, then you wouldn't be spending any time calculating about who else to talk to or about what. You would be working on meeting and getting to know her better.

Since what you are actually doing, is just generally looking for a mate, without any certain knowledge about how she would behave (other than in a generally friendly manner), then it's not logical to narrow your search.

Bro be yourself and go with the flow ur instincts will guide you. May the force be with you.

damn if you do and damn if you dont ... put a ring on it (if you like her then you should've ) ask beyonce

you should be open and ask questions. I would simply ask where I stood and how exclusive the other person wanted to be,,,,you did meet on a 'dating' site so it is not unreasonable that you would be talking to or 'dating' more than one person

Might be handy to check the date of the OP when you dig up old topics :p ... This is almost a year old! The may could be married with children by now.

This is a good point. However, the topic is interesting concerning dating and relationships. Many of the responses address behaviors associated with the topic. The topic is still valid even though the OP may not be seeking advice anymore.



There are many times during dating (both on and offline) where this question could come up. I have experienced it a few times, even recently.



It is important to know what you are doing. When seeking a date (for whatever reason) you must find out if there is a connection. We look for connections in all we encounter. If there is no connection or we fail to seek out that connection or they do not express a connection we need to continue searching.



It boils down to knowing what your desires are and attempting to fulfill them. You must understand yourself first.

Once you understand what you seek you must also understand that it is a 'perfect model' and nobody will exactly match all of your requirement. You must determine which requirements have higher validity to meeting your desire. The only way to do that is to seek out many and make pointed inquiries. You accept the ones closest you fulfillment and discard the rest. It narrows your choices.



Being single allows you to morally select and encourage a wider range of candidates. Friendships should not require exclusivity. Only when a proposal for exclusivity is agreed upon should your searches end.



I have encountered this more than success which is why I am still looking.
Sometimes a friendship doesn't end but the courting process does.
Sometimes ending the courting process also ends the friendship.

I have met women that turn out to be less than accurate (snicker) in real life than what they portrayed during our initial courtship. To me dishonesty is the biggest red flag there is so those friendships end as soon as I am sure.

Then there are the ones that are honest but are personality clashes. Some friendships end where some continue but with no intent to continuing courtship.



AND...
When the friend does not meet your expectation of what you decide constitutes friendship.

I see casual dating in a very different light than courting so for a man who acts like a gentleman and is not deceitful in his actions or words (like faking affection or implying exclusivity when in fact he is making no such commitment) I have no problem with him "playing the field".

I don't jump to conclusions or wishfully read things between the lines just because someone is interested enough to ask me out once or a dozen times. People like pleasant companionship but it should not enslave them because I agree to share time with them or vice versa. And just because I reciprocate an invitation doesn't make me their partner for life.

Since people tend to settle in and be themselves after the "new wears off" is really when you get to know them and know if you even truly like them. Yea you may have that basic gut reaction that is positive but even chemistry is easy compared to really likeing the core of another person.

As far as knowing when to "put a ring on it" there should be no "I am reserving my spot until I make up my mind about it" one should be dead sure. Other wise it is just a "P&P parking pass" not unlike a fiance in every port.

Reason for a while they sold the so called "promise" rings. In reallity it was "I promise I expect to get laid but you promise not to get us knocked up until at least we are Really engaged." For some it was getting pinned or wearing the class ring.