I get culturally flirting is suppose to help catch a persons initial attention.

But I tend to flirt with someone whom I have and established relationship and care about deeply since it is such an ego boost and I always prefer saving it for someone significant.

That most flirting is only emotional manipulation by so many people experience when generalized at strangers it seems deceptive and offensive in general.

Why not just be considerate and friendly on a more modest plane and see if what you actually have in common be the seeds of attraction?

Wish i could join here for a flirting course...

Well even if you can't recognise flirtation, what's important is that you reciprocate friendliness. Thats always a great start :)

Ok. I understand you now

Well said star. I don't look kindly upon the act of manipulative flirting which I know is a common occurence.It's dreadful !

I am sure you could find a flirting workshop online Jith31. Welcome to mingle!

I just a clean, nice guy. Just looking fir female attention.

Welcome to mingle Joseph. Keep pasting in the threads so people can get to know you better, Good luck in your search!

As one or two have already said, I think there's a fine line between flirting and being friendly.

It's hard to judge when someone is being friendly or if they like you a little more than that.

I think some people fear direct rejection so they flirt a little to see what the reaction is.

Putting their feelers out there kind of thing.


On the other hand, I wonder how many of us have missed the signs when someone has been into us. Probably most of us if not all.

I think there are 3 main signs that a person is romantically interested in you.

1. The first sign is if they initiate contact with you as much as you do. It is not enough for them to be excited about receiving your call. If they are truly imterested, they will initiate contact frequently too.

2. If they initiate or welcome opportunities to go out with you ALONE. If they are always requiring other people to go out with the both of you, the romantic interest isnt there.

People who are interested ultimately want to spend as much alone time with the person as possible.

3. If the person doesn't freeze or get awkward or change the subject when you make tasteful sensual jokes with them. If there is tensing up or awkwardness on their part, its because they can't see themselves in that way with you

I have totally missed it several times..

I have had some male friends ask me why we never dated..
I will give a strange look why would we we have never even thought that way.
Come to find out yes they did and I didn't have a clue...


Now if we go by body language in club settings. I found out about a year or so ago my biting on the side of my bottom lip is sexy I had no clue but I will sure keep that in mind when I want to flirt

Good points for real Life Peggy.

What's your synopsis for a dating site.

How do you flirt with someone without appearing creepy or desperate.

Then there's that first message, or knowing when to stop and say goodnight.

I guess it's about vibes. I think it's easy to tell when someone is not interested, a little harder to tell if they like you or if you are in their friend zone.

Yes, even harder to tell online, but saying that, is it in fact easier, it's not like someone can see you blushing if you get the cold shoulder type of thing.

I'll have to think about this a bit more, it could be easier on here than real life.

Excellent thread there Peggy.....now if only you could conduct a seminar or something on those lines, about the art of flirting....I would be the first to sign up....hey! probably the only one to....just saying....

Although we can be nice to everyone Sitka, romantically our major focus is on the people we are interested in , and not necessarily the people who are interested in us, like your friends were.

And if we are focusing on the people we are interested in, then I think the guidelines I suggested to joe apply in assessing if the guy feels the same way about you.

And you wanna know something Sitka?

I suspect that it's because you were ignorant of how sexy your lip -biting was, is the reason why it was so sexy.

I think some of the gestures that are most natural to individuals are the most sexy .

Hope you give us an update of how your new found technique works for you on your next club date

Well dang now I will be so flustered with it. that I won't be able to be natural.. dang it..
So who knows.

Keep in mind Joe, that I am no expert on this topic, and that what I am suggesting wont apply to everybody.

I think the initial email should be a non-clingy, breezy message mentioning some detail from the person's profile and maybe making some reference to something that is unique to the person's town that you googled. And if you can manage to poke fun at yourself in a whimsical way in a sentence or two, that would be quite charming to most people I think .

In terms of assessing the person's interest level after interaction is established, I think the first thing to look for is the release of the person's phone contact, which may take a few weeks depending on the person's comfort level . Even if the person is emailing you everyday for 3 months, without the exchange of a phone contact, to me you haven't graduated from the acquaintance/friend zone.

Once that ice has been broken with the phone exchange, I think just wishing the person a good day and touching base with them maybe a couple of times a week is a good way of not being too creepy as you alluded earlier.

And in terms of knowing when to end a call/messaging session, you can ask afer 20 mins or so ,if the convo is flowing, if you are disturbing them from anything.

If they ask you to continue and dont use your opening as an opportunity to run, that's a good sign that they are captivated to some degree.

I think the key is reciprocity. You have to stop initiating calls from time to time and see if the person takes up the mantle to initiate sometimes. If they don't, then the romantic interest IS NOT THERE. a person should only invest as much energy as they get back in my opinion. And there is less chance of you being taken for granted that way too.

After trust and comfort have been established, I think light banter about the prospects of the both of you being physically close and being alone together has to be put out there. You have to establish their comfort level with the idea of physical contact with you.

If they banter back with you after you make those TASTEFUL romantic or physical jokes ,and they even start initiating jokes of that kind with you, then there is enough hope to casually suggest a date.

If however they respond to your romantic or tasteful sexual banter with awkward pauses or they change the subject, then they are not into you that way.

Again, this is just MY take on it . It will not apply to everybody :)

Since its a natural gesture for you anyway, I suspect you will forget its a technique and blow the men's minds naturally